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Teen & single motherhood is hard.

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Being a single and teen mom is such a challenge and I can't help but think about my daughter's future even though she is 4 years old I think will she end up like me. Will she end up delivering her baby at 14? I don't want her to face the challenges that I face everyday from working, going to school and raising a child at 19. Tv, movies and other places make it look all so great but it's not not for me anyway. It's so hard doing everything. I hate the stares and comments I get and I don't want her to face that. Also I don't want her to be a single mom. I find myself struggling and it's only been a few months. So all you single moms I think you do a great job! My life has been a challenge and I hope my daughter doesn't face what I have, really I don't want anyone to face what I did. I'll teach my baby girl when she's older.

So since I wrote a book thanks for listening and the support.....I need it! 
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by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:17 PM
Replies (11-20):
Barblicious
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:20 PM

I had a lot of friends growing up that had babies in their teens, and they all turned out to be amazing women, full of strength and courage. Sounds like you are one of those women too.

My daughter will be 3 in January and I will be 40 soon after. I really wish I had the energy I had in my youth, but at the same time I respect those friends that raised kids in their teens, because I have it easy - as I have an education, a career and a web of family friends and support. I admire that you are going ot school and doing all you can to better yourself for her future.

However, there is still stigma against me even at 40 for having a baby out of wedlock. Knocked up is knocked up to some narrow minded people no matter your age. Don't let them get to you, in the end all that matters is your child, and the respect your child will have toward you for all you do for them. :)

Warren2
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:20 PM

Forget the stares. Do what you have to do. By the time I was nineteen, I had two kids. One 4 and another 1. I was lucky that I had an EXTENDED family that was nothing less than AWESOME that helped me 150%. (My biological family left a lot to be desired, for lack of better words.) Althought they kept my kids for me all day and all night, I HAD TO WORK, they also gave me good guidance, support and motivation. They also showed me love and I grew to love them immensly. Stop complaining about how hard it is, just do it and try to develop yourself.

michiganmom5150
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:23 PM
It's hard at any age. I commend you for doing it all at such a young age. It's obvious that you have a good head on your shoulders. She doesn't have to follow in your footsteps and if you teach her from a young age that her education and being a kid come before boys, she'll be just fine. Sounds like you are determined, so keep on keepin on.
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erinmomofone
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:25 PM
I didn't think I was complaining but ok I'll stop sorry I vented about it. I am doing it. Never mind.


Quoting Warren2:

Forget the stares. Do what you have to do. By the time I was nineteen, I had two kids. One 4 and another 1. I was lucky that I had an EXTENDED family that was nothing less than AWESOME that helped me 150%. (My biological family left a lot to be desired, for lack of better words.) Althought they kept my kids for me all day and all night, I HAD TO WORK, they also gave me good guidance, support and motivation. They also showed me love and I grew to love them immensly. Stop complaining about how hard it is, just do it and try to develop yourself.


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erinmomofone
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:26 PM
Thanks trying my best.....I am sure it's never easy raising a kid at any age....I wouldn't know not yet any way.


Quoting michiganmom5150:

It's hard at any age. I commend you for doing it all at such a young age. It's obvious that you have a good head on your shoulders. She doesn't have to follow in your footsteps and if you teach her from a young age that her education and being a kid come before boys, she'll be just fine. Sounds like you are determined, so keep on keepin on.

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graciefreesoul
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:38 PM

that's all you can do...is teach and show her...i personally can't figure out what ppl mean when they say solo parenting is hard tho..maybe it's b/c i was raised in a single parent home and my sister did it as well? on the other hand i've seen women that were married but were pretty much 'single parenting' for some reason or another or i saw families with both parents working having just as tough a time as me...sure, having the finacial support (at least) from the other parent would help out some but i take lessons from every situation that i might find myself in b/c i'm solo parenting...

if i had it to do all over again and had a choice to have the other parent around (a diff one than the one that we got 'blessed' with LOL!), i would choose solo parenting...why? i get to make all the decisions without butting heads with someone else :) yeah, i lost a little sleep, have little money b/c her stupid gym teacher wont stfu about a 25 dollar physical that she needs to play basketball, and i'm counting down to graduation time b/c her teenage self is trying my patience BUT, in the other room is what i made and molded and she adores the hell out of me and i catch her every now and then trying zumba or eating oatmeal for breakfast and drinking more water (trying my healthier habits)

erinmomofone
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 2:55 AM
Don't get me wrong I don't mind single parenting to am extent. I don't mInd make choices on my own but I don't like that I had to move back in with my mom. I don't like that I am on a little more of a budget. As well as my daughter misses her father and as of right now hasn't really contacted her.


Quoting graciefreesoul:

that's all you can do...is teach and show her...i personally can't figure out what ppl mean when they say solo parenting is hard tho..maybe it's b/c i was raised in a single parent home and my sister did it as well? on the other hand i've seen women that were married but were pretty much 'single parenting' for some reason or another or i saw families with both parents working having just as tough a time as me...sure, having the finacial support (at least) from the other parent would help out some but i take lessons from every situation that i might find myself in b/c i'm solo parenting...


if i had it to do all over again and had a choice to have the other parent around (a diff one than the one that we got 'blessed' with LOL!), i would choose solo parenting...why? i get to make all the decisions without butting heads with someone else :) yeah, i lost a little sleep, have little money b/c her stupid gym teacher wont stfu about a 25 dollar physical that she needs to play basketball, and i'm counting down to graduation time b/c her teenage self is trying my patience BUT, in the other room is what i made and molded and she adores the hell out of me and i catch her every now and then trying zumba or eating oatmeal for breakfast and drinking more water (trying my healthier habits)


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AubreeG16
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 7:45 AM
You are doing a great job it sounds like :) I know whee you are coming from. I delivered my twins 3 days after my 15th birthday. I was single too. Their father just recently came back into my life. Now I'm 17 and they are 2 :) you can PM me if you wanna!
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erinmomofone
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 8:47 AM
Thanks...my daughter's father just left us. I will.


Quoting AubreeG16:

You are doing a great job it sounds like :) I know whee you are coming from. I delivered my twins 3 days after my 15th birthday. I was single too. Their father just recently came back into my life. Now I'm 17 and they are 2 :) you can PM me if you wanna!

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graciefreesoul
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 7:45 PM

ohhhhh trust me, i feel you on the 'moving back in with mom' deal...ive done it ummmm 3 times in the last 13 years, mostly b/c i keep following mom every time she moves to another state. i wonder if she's doing it to get away from us? lol but it's always only temporary and i always keep telling myself that lol she's had to move in with me once when she left that one legged husband she had at one time so it's actually just something we do lol! my daughter is 13yo and over the part where she 'misses' that person...it used to puzzle me and make me mad at he same time cuz i was trying to figure out how the heck anyone can miss someone they didn't know lol now she only ever just tries to keep a relationship with her brothers and sisters from him...none from me...i'm done lol while i can't understand what other solo parents mean when they say it's hard, i can't understand how the heck anybody does it (parenting) with more than one kid! now to me, THAT is hard lol

Quoting erinmomofone:

Don't get me wrong I don't mind single parenting to am extent. I don't mInd make choices on my own but I don't like that I had to move back in with my mom. I don't like that I am on a little more of a budget. As well as my daughter misses her father and as of right now hasn't really contacted her.


Quoting graciefreesoul:

that's all you can do...is teach and show her...i personally can't figure out what ppl mean when they say solo parenting is hard tho..maybe it's b/c i was raised in a single parent home and my sister did it as well? on the other hand i've seen women that were married but were pretty much 'single parenting' for some reason or another or i saw families with both parents working having just as tough a time as me...sure, having the finacial support (at least) from the other parent would help out some but i take lessons from every situation that i might find myself in b/c i'm solo parenting...


if i had it to do all over again and had a choice to have the other parent around (a diff one than the one that we got 'blessed' with LOL!), i would choose solo parenting...why? i get to make all the decisions without butting heads with someone else :) yeah, i lost a little sleep, have little money b/c her stupid gym teacher wont stfu about a 25 dollar physical that she needs to play basketball, and i'm counting down to graduation time b/c her teenage self is trying my patience BUT, in the other room is what i made and molded and she adores the hell out of me and i catch her every now and then trying zumba or eating oatmeal for breakfast and drinking more water (trying my healthier habits)



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