I thought I had my life figure out and knew where I was headed. but alot has changed. I'm just not sure what my future is going to be like. just like the rest of you, I am trying my best to raise this kid (he is 13) and make the best decisions in my life as well. I dont want him to fall through the cracks and I feel like I am running a rat race trying to keep him on a positive path. It is hard and I am stressed. I am trying my best to deal with my own pain and keep my sanity. Unfortunately my family and my bd are a constant reminder of the past hurts i am trying so hard to heal from. But we live in the ssme city that is pretty much a small town and almost everybody knows everybody. I cant really grow here and often feel like I am drowning. Many times I wish I didnot move back here. i dont have any support and i often feel very much alone and isolated. I feel like I need a fresh start where no one knows me and I can have a peace of mind. But until I get my finances in order, I will be here trying my best to get back to work in this slow job market. I try my best to be strong. But here lately i feel really weak and like my back is broken. I dont know how much more fight i have in me. I dont sleep very much anymore. Sigh. Thanks for listening.
on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:06 PM