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Single Moms Single Moms

Is it really a shock?

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 My two longest relationships were with smokers. I don't smoke at all. After being with both men for a while, being around the smoke all the time started to give me headaches. Plus my clothe started smelling like smoke, even after washes.  I was talking to my friend ( who doesn't smoke but her husband does) and she said" I would be missing out on great guys if I put smoking on my no go list ".  I told her that I believed I can meet a great guy who doesn't smoke just as easily as a smoker. She replied with " I highly doubt it". I don't know, is it expecting to much to not want to date any more smokers?

by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 11:32 AM
Replies (21-30):
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 3:06 PM

 no. not at all. a lot of people dont smoke.

jamieharper08
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 3:11 PM

Idk...I don't think it would be a deal breaker for me.

Junip1977
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 3:56 PM

 NO way!!  I don't date smokers either...stick to your guns, you will find a nice man!! :)

jmjdj
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 4:07 PM

I'm a smoker dating a non-smoker.  I actually think there are far more people who don't smoke than those that do.  And like many of the previous posters have said, it's your preference.  You have the right to say what qualities you do or do not want in a man you are dating.  If smoking is a no-go, then it's a no-go.  I don't think you'll find it that difficult to find one that doesn't.

KPBMom
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 4:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Absolutely!  It's a non-starter for me.  Why would you want to spend your life & time with someone who is poisoning themselves and those around them?

jmjdj
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 4:10 PM

I forgot to add that my SO isn't thrilled about me smoking and gives me a hard time about it...not mean just jokes about the lung cancer I'm going to have and what not.  However, he doesn't expect me to quit in order for us to continue...I smoked before him.  I'm not crazy about his job either...but he had it before me also.  I make jokes about that in the same manner.  We both know that there is some little bit of truth but we won't be disrespectful to each other about it.

On the other hand, I consider myself a respectful smoker (I always make sure I'm standing downwind from non smokers, never smoke in anyone else's car or house, etc).  I don't expect my SO to kiss me unless I've had a mint, gum or brushed my teeth.  I'm ok with it because I know it's a bad habit.

MommyAJ2921
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 11:32 PM

Nope...not at all...I have asthma so I CAN'T date a smoker..plus its a nasty habit..don't want it around me or my kids. So no..not at all expecting too much.

ZakkarysMom
by Natasha on Oct. 10, 2012 at 11:46 PM
I cant stand smoking. Im pretty sure Im allergic. I dont think there is anything wrong with wanting a guy who is a non smoker.
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shula1
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:34 AM
I would never date a smoker , I find the smell gross and even second hand or third hand ( from thier clothes or hair ) is a serious health risk . There are lots of people who are nonsmokers I'm sure you will meet one :)
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katfeemom
by Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:49 AM

You could try.  And in this day and age, I'd say that less and less people smoke as there is more of a concern for health, and better understanding of the dangers of smoking.  My issue is with the, "I don't reallys" these are the guys who say things like, "Oh, NO!!! I don't smoke!"  Then when they are out with friends (who smoke) or in any social situation where people are smoking, they'll light up. They'll say stupid things like,"everyone else was doing it"  ..."I didn't want my friend to feel self-conscious"..."I didn't want to be rude, it was offered".

I went through this with my ex.  He did it with smoking, luckily that stopped.  He did it with watching sports.  I don't mind watching sports, but other things need to get done.  When things are piling up and we're scanning channels for a game to watch, but we don't yet know what sport we're looking for?  That's pathetic.  If he had said, "I'm going to watch basketball to see the teams going into March madness", I'd have been fine with that.

Funny thing is, now that we are separated.  He is smoking AGAIN.  I haven't seen it,  He doesn't do it in front of the kids.  But when they come home, their clothes reek. 

He claims that it is from the neighbors. 

He knows that I don't believe him.

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