Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

Help. My son says he never wants to see his dad again

Posted by   + Show Post
I had bd skip his visit this past weekend because my son is very upset with him. Bd has been pinching my son and also will pin him with his knees up to his chest to discipline. Every time I've told him to stop. Idk what else to do. My son told me yesterday that he never wants to see his dad ever again because he hurts him. I don't blame him. Idk what to do though.

I haven't told bd what my son said and don't want him to react. He's just a kid ya know. I hope he's willing to change and do parenting classes or something. Ugh. My sister said my son shouldn't have a say whether to visit his dad but just to nip his poor discipline skills. Easier said than done.

I wanna know has anyone been in a similar situation? Should I consult an attorney? Wtf do I do? And we do not have a CO for visitation or custody. Bd hasn't been involved in my sons life at all until this past May. We do supervised visits and a few times I let bd take my son out alone which I now regret.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 2:26 PM
Replies (11-20):
jonnlilithsmom
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 6:02 PM

go back to supervised visits, and see a lawyer... as for your sister, I suggest that if her idea of diciplining a child is to force them to do something they associate with harm, then you should supervise her  when she's with your kid too.

ame4c
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 6:24 PM

 I missed the no custody order the 1st time I read this...LOL..

Definately go back to supervised visits and contact an attorney to learn your rights.  Make your X take you to court if he wants more time.  Most states make you take a parenting class before you can have custody.  It's generally not much of one though.

raegan1221
by Raegan on Oct. 10, 2012 at 6:27 PM

 I agree completely with you, Anna. Brayden didn't want to go with his Dad for a few years but he had to go. I couldn't not let him go.

Quoting Robsessed98:

I think you should tell bd what your son is saying. Since what youre telling hiim isnt sinking in, maybe hearing it from your sons perspective will wake him up. I agree that he should still be allowed to see him, not only because hes the dad and is making an effort to be one, but also because when you go to court (which imo should be done asap) he cant accuse you of denying him to see his son. My dd spent years dreading weekends with her dad, but I had to let her go anyway. Its a tough situation to be in, but unfortunately theres really no way around it.

 

Faith, Hope & Love "I Will Have Faith in YOU, Hope For YOU To Come Home To Me & Love YOU More Every Day".
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Oct. 10, 2012 at 11:24 PM
Of talk to your lawyer and go back to court
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MommyAJ2921
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 11:29 PM

First off...slap your sister for saying something so...there is no word for it...pinching and pinning his knees to his chest to discipline him...yeah I'm gonna let my ex dh take my boys for the weekend knowing he's doing THAT to them. HELL NO. If he won't agree to parenting classes TAKE IT BACK TO COURT and do what  you have to do to protect your son. Because if he's doing this to his son, what ELSE is he doing????

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:46 AM
I agree. Good kick hun.

Quoting Robsessed98:

I think you should tell bd what your son is saying. Since what youre telling hiim isnt sinking in, maybe hearing it from your sons perspective will wake him up. I agree that he should still be allowed to see him, not only because hes the dad and is making an effort to be one, but also because when you go to court (which imo should be done asap) he cant accuse you of denying him to see his son. My dd spent years dreading weekends with her dad, but I had to let her go anyway. Its a tough situation to be in, but unfortunately theres really no way around it.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:04 AM
1 mom liked this
Bd was taking my son to the pool or he would do this in my home and I stopped him. My sister wasn't saying just let him take him. We have pretty much supervised visits which I plan to tighten a rope on. The fact is California is a pro-dad state. The courts will grant him visitation. We've never been to court because he lived out of state and wasn't around so I didn't mess with it. But i wish I had when he was away. Regardless I plan to file so it's on paper.

Quoting MommyAJ2921:

First off...slap your sister for saying something so...there is no word for it...pinching and pinning his knees to his chest to discipline him...yeah I'm gonna let my ex dh take my boys for the weekend knowing he's doing THAT to them. HELL NO. If he won't agree to parenting classes TAKE IT BACK TO COURT and do what  you have to do to protect your son. Because if he's doing this to his son, what ELSE is he doing????

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
rae021
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:08 AM
This is just me but screw the visits. Bc when u do.go to court they will order supervised any way bc he's been gone for so long. Document any marks, have a Dr look at them if you can and call child protective services, bc that is ABUSE dad or not my dd is not with neone that physically or emotionally hurts her. When dear old dad wants to visit tell him there is an open visit at ur house bc ur son is very unhappy. That's so sad.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
easinpc
by Gold Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:56 PM

I consider what he is doing to your child (especially the pinching) a form of abuse and would not continue the visits unless they were supervised if you can.  I would definately go to an attorney and file for sole custody with supervised visits.  Without a custody agreement it could be very difficult if he decides to just take your child and not bring him back from an unsupervised visit!  Good luck!

mommynac
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:18 PM

IMO, if your ex is an abuser he's not going to give a rat's @ss what you say. I would do everything I could to get supervised visits. That's abuse and DS shouldn't have to deal with that. Do whatever it takes to protect him.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)