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repeatedly coming over unannounced

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My dd father has only came over to see her a handful a times. And he always pops up unannounced and in the late evening or at night! I have told him if you wanna come over and see her call and I will tell you when is a good time. there times he's come over sunlight calling and also brought ppl with him. Today he came at 8 my dad let him in while I finally got my dd to sleep although I did,not know. I went to the living room im like what are you doing baby is sleep you didn't call it's night so leave. He just had this stupid blank expression on his face but I thought he got the point so I jumped in the shower got settled down I go out and that bone head was sitting out on the couch. I say what are you doing? Leave!,he gets up then slowLY puts on his jacket then leaves. Didn't even bring dd and diapers or anything. He's brought her one small pack since she's been born she's 4 mos. Ugh this guy is not smart *sigh* any one go through this?, I would like to set up set visitation days though im sure he won't follow it and will continue popping up unannounced I just want him to go away!
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:17 AM
Replies (11-20):
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:26 PM

 if he wants to see his kid i wouldnt wish taht he went away but i would take him to court for support and have visits set up. i wouldnt let him drop in when he wanted and i SURE wouldnt let him bring motherfuckers to my house. he just wants to either see YOU or he wants to see his kid and have you do all the dirty work. thats why i refused to "supervise" any of my BD visits w the kids infant or not, i told him to take them to his mamas for a couple hours.

 
        
         

mommynac
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:27 PM

You can go to court and do it yourself. In my state, it's $60 to file a motion. Make it as specific as you can. If this guy has boundary issues, you'll want something he can follow, KWIM? And don't forget, you have a right to ask this guy to leave if it's outside visitation and he's not being appropriate.

Quoting mz23:

Quoting mommynac:

Don't let him in. If he won't leave, call the cops. I had to deal with this and it only gets worse. And go back to court ASAP to establish visitation. If he doesn't follow it that's his problem.




Nice to now other people have gone through this. Do I have to do that process with a lawyer cause I surely can't afford one? Or is it something I file


HIJKLM
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:28 PM
My ex hasn't visited once since we split up (3years) but he'd always call at night around bed time. I told him over and over to call before 7 or don't call. I finally stopped answering after 7 and he stopped calling.
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easinpc
by Gold Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:29 PM

Have you gone to court yet to set up child support and custody?  If not you need to and then go from there.  Otherwise if he shows up just remind him that he needs to call first and that this time is not convenient for you.

mz23
by Bronze Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 2:49 PM


Quoting faerie75:

 if he wants to see his kid i wouldnt wish taht he went away but i would take him to court for support and have visits set up. i wouldnt let him drop in when he wanted and i SURE wouldnt let him bring motherfuckers to my house. he just wants to either see YOU or he wants to see his kid and have you do all the dirty work. thats why i refused to "supervise" any of my BD visits w the kids infant or not, i told him to take them to his mamas for a couple hours.

I know it sounds bad but I just hate that he pops up after not seeing her for like 2 mos. Shes almost 4 mos. I cant stand him but as long as he help take care of her and sees her regularly id have some respect for him; i have none. But oh well. I dont know what his deal is. And i would do that but I just dont trust him too much and he has anger issues.In the hospital, I asked him to leave so many times but he wouldn't. I didnt want to get the nurses involved cause I thought that was tacky but I wish I would have. Well anyway, he kept arguing with me.He claimed that this nurse didnt like him, who I am sure was not thinking about him! Then another time he said someone was accusing him or doing cocaine in the bathroom at the hospital, so bizaar I didnt believe it. Then he was asking me can he lay down in the hospital bed with me and dd I was like no. He'd just stare at me; it was creepy. Well anyway, I asked him please leave and not spend another night at the hospital and he got up and acted like he was about to swing and hit me while I was holding our baby. He lives at his dads house with his sisters and possibly his brothers Im not sure. I havent seen his dad in a while but when I used to come over he'd have porn turned up super loud then come into the kitchen (you could still hear the porn) and start talking to me about whatever. He'd always tell me about some nasty movie that he'd seen where some chick was giving this guy a blow job while driving. Everytime I came over! ( I stopped going over).And my dd's dad told me his dad was telling him how their 12 year old neighbor had started growing boobs. I dont want my dd around him and there's no telling where he'd take my dd.Sorry such a long response.


mz23
by Bronze Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 2:52 PM


Quoting easinpc:

Have you gone to court yet to set up child support and custody?  If not you need to and then go from there.  Otherwise if he shows up just remind him that he needs to call first and that this time is not convenient for you.

I have set up child support its still in the process though. He signed the BC at the hospital, but I think he contested to paternity because me and my dd had to do a paternity test (we got our mouths swabbed). I havent set up custody but I am definetly going to asap. Thanks. 

mz23
by Bronze Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 2:55 PM


Quoting HIJKLM:

My ex hasn't visited once since we split up (3years) but he'd always call at night around bed time. I told him over and over to call before 7 or don't call. I finally stopped answering after 7 and he stopped calling.


Oh wow. He used to call every once in a while and it was usually like 11pm or later! I have stopped answering cause everytime I do he tries to argue, What n**** you with? Wow really? So stupid and ignorant.

mz23
by Bronze Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 2:56 PM


Quoting mommynac:

You can go to court and do it yourself. In my state, it's $60 to file a motion. Make it as specific as you can. If this guy has boundary issues, you'll want something he can follow, KWIM? And don't forget, you have a right to ask this guy to leave if it's outside visitation and he's not being appropriate.

Quoting mz23:

Quoting mommynac:

Don't let him in. If he won't leave, call the cops. I had to deal with this and it only gets worse. And go back to court ASAP to establish visitation. If he doesn't follow it that's his problem.




Nice to now other people have gone through this. Do I have to do that process with a lawyer cause I surely can't afford one? Or is it something I file



Okay thanks! I plan on doing that asap

victoriahearts
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 2:58 PM

Would try to firm up something legal with regards to child support and visitation preferably thru courts so you have the law on your side. 

HIJKLM
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:21 PM
Sounds like your ex is trying to see you, not the baby. I think my ex was just trying to avoid being a father. We haven't heard from him in a year and a half and its been peaceful

Quoting mz23:



Quoting HIJKLM:

My ex hasn't visited once since we split up (3years) but he'd always call at night around bed time. I told him over and over to call before 7 or don't call. I finally stopped answering after 7 and he stopped calling.




Oh wow. He used to call every once in a while and it was usually like 11pm or later! I have stopped answering cause everytime I do he tries to argue, What n**** you with? Wow really? So stupid and ignorant.

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