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Single Moms Single Moms
Why do I listen to what people say? Why do I let it bother me like it does? I know that I shouldn't it doesn't matter what people say about being a young mom but what if it's true. What if I don't do all my goals? what if really I am a bad mom because I kept my daughter and now we are struggling just to make it by? I don't want to believe what people say but....I just think about it all the time when someone tells me that I am not good enough, or I am not a good mom, or I'll never make it in this world because I had my baby early in my life I believe them. I have been doing it for almost 5 years but now it's all different I worked but I was not providing for the house hold. My daughters father did now I am doing it all. I need to not listen to anyone but that's a challenge...Knowwhat I mean?

Thanks for reading....as you can tell I need support.
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by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 9:39 AM
Replies (21-30):
steviechick
by Gold Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 3:12 PM

I'm a 48 year old divorce'.  My daughter and I have been on our own even when I was married to my ex.  He spent the last three years of our marriage being active duty and using that as a rouse to chase after his gf (now wife).  During those three years I was the one that made sure the mortgage was paid, a horse was taken care (and paid for), and just about everything else financially that needed to be taken care of.  I even made sure that the house we lived in (still do) got repairs when needed.  I mowed the lawn and literally raised a child (teenager) without a lot of help from the man I was married to.  He was too busy playing soldier and barely even gave me enough money to support myself and pay the bills.  I spent many hours alone and need of a 'man' around the house and in my bed.  I've been told by many of my friends that I should be commended and admired for putting up with a an ex louse self-absorbed loser of a husband as long as I did.  I was Super Mom and still am to my grown daughter.  It took a lot out of me to raise her these past few years.  I thank God that I was able to both mentally and physically.  If I had a second child I don't know how I could have financially withstood the storm.  It was hard raising just one child.  I blame my ex for everything that I was going through miserably.  He was suppposed to be my support system.  He was but barely on a part-time basis.  Prior to him going into the military, sometimes I felt like I was the only one that gave a damn about our marriage.  In all ways that mattered, too.  Today, I look into the mirror and see a strong and very capable young woman staring back at me.  I'm a survivor and always will be.  I'm gaining new friends and I'm working part-time to make extra money to pay for the repairs to my second-hand car and to help pay for the upkeep of my home.   Sometimes I feel like I'm on a never ending quest to find true happiness in my life.  I could easily get rid of the part-time job but then I fall into the 'what would I do with all my free time by myself?" mode. 

erinmomofone
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 3:28 PM
It's all new for me.Not being a mom but a single mom.

Quoting steviechick:

I'm a 48 year old divorce'.  My daughter and I have been on our own even when I was married to my ex.  He spent the last three years of our marriage being active duty and using that as a rouse to chase after his gf (now wife).  During those three years I was the one that made sure the mortgage was paid, a horse was taken care (and paid for), and just about everything else financially that needed to be taken care of.  I even made sure that the house we lived in (still do) got repairs when needed.  I mowed the lawn and literally raised a child (teenager) without a lot of help from the man I was married to.  He was too busy playing soldier and barely even gave me enough money to support myself and pay the bills.  I spent many hours alone and need of a 'man' around the house and in my bed.  I've been told by many of my friends that I should be commended and admired for putting up with a an ex louse self-absorbed loser of a husband as long as I did.  I was Super Mom and still am to my grown daughter.  It took a lot out of me to raise her these past few years.  I thank God that I was able to both mentally and physically.  If I had a second child I don't know how I could have financially withstood the storm.  It was hard raising just one child.  I blame my ex for everything that I was going through miserably.  He was suppposed to be my support system.  He was but barely on a part-time basis.  Prior to him going into the military, sometimes I felt like I was the only one that gave a damn about our marriage.  In all ways that mattered, too.  Today, I look into the mirror and see a strong and very capable young woman staring back at me.  I'm a survivor and always will be.  I'm gaining new friends and I'm working part-time to make extra money to pay for the repairs to my second-hand car and to help pay for the upkeep of my home.   Sometimes I feel like I'm on a never ending quest to find true happiness in my life.  I could easily get rid of the part-time job but then I fall into the 'what would I do with all my free time by myself?" mode. 



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erinmomofone
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:42 PM
I need to learn to not let things bug me. Easier said then done.
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brieri
by Platinum Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:57 PM

 It'll soon pass as it' gets better.

erinmomofone
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:58 PM
I hop it really gets easier.


Quoting brieri:

 It'll soon pass as it' gets better.


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mrsary
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:32 PM

being called a bad mom must be common, cause my family tells me I am all the time!!! I let my kids stay with them awhile and now they won't give them back. My father even said if I keep up how I am CPS will take the kids and it's nothing any of us will be able to do about it. smh.

erinmomofone
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:33 PM
Are you serious?


Quoting mrsary:

being called a bad mom must be common, cause my family tells me I am all the time!!! I let my kids stay with them awhile and now they won't give them back. My father even said if I keep up how I am CPS will take the kids and it's nothing any of us will be able to do about it. smh.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mrsary
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:34 PM

That's exactly how I started feeling a couple of years ago... it's the d*mn TRUTH!!!!!

Quoting queensweet:

I find that many people are very negative. Many times they will say negative things to you because they envy your strength and perseverance. ((Hugs)). You are feeling vulnerable and not self-assured and that is why what people say. Just know that you are doing the best you can for your little woman. You are only human. Eventually you will get to the point where you will say "f**k everybody whom isn't helping me. I don't need their negative a$$ comments!" Let them know that God is the only One whom has a say in your life. Take care & be strong!


mrsary
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:37 PM

yes. I don't have good control over my kids (ages 2,4, & 7) and we were away from home about 13 hours a day. They are staying with my father who is retired along with a couple of my sisters helping. My kids are more disciplined now & making better grades. Of course I am constantly being put down because how terrible I was doing. Honestly, I did my best. If u are going through this too then it must be common. *shrugging shoulders in confusion*

Quoting erinmomofone:

Are you serious?


Quoting mrsary:

being called a bad mom must be common, cause my family tells me I am all the time!!! I let my kids stay with them awhile and now they won't give them back. My father even said if I keep up how I am CPS will take the kids and it's nothing any of us will be able to do about it. smh.


 

erinmomofone
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:42 PM
I am sorry to hear that. I am sure your trying your best for them. I don't know how common it is....I feel like its only me being told I am a bad parent.


Quoting mrsary:

yes. I don't have good control over my kids (ages 2,4, & 7) and we were away from home about 13 hours a day. They are staying with my father who is retired along with a couple of my sisters helping. My kids are more disciplined now & making better grades. Of course I am constantly being put down because how terrible I was doing. Honestly, I did my best. If u are going through this too then it must be common. *shrugging shoulders in confusion*


Quoting erinmomofone:

Are you serious?



Quoting mrsary:


being called a bad mom must be common, cause my family tells me I am all the time!!! I let my kids stay with them awhile and now they won't give them back. My father even said if I keep up how I am CPS will take the kids and it's nothing any of us will be able to do about it. smh.



 


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