My 10-year-old daughter has behavioral issues, and I have had enough of the tantrums and drama. Last night was the final straw. Luckily, I have an appointment with a counselor next week, but it just won't come soon enough.
I have been working on getting my daughter her own room, finally separating her from her 13-year-old sister. The process hasn't gone as fast as she'd like because her bedroom is also my office, and I can't just pick up and move the big roll-top desk anywhere in the house. So we brought up her bed and she's been sleeping in it; however, in the last week or so, she has wanted to sleep with me, coming up with every excuse in the book: "I'm scared." "It's too hot in my room." "My bed's messed up." It differs each night. On one night, it was 2 a.m. in the morning, and I was groggy from sleep, so I let her crawl in bed with me. But, I do not want this to become habit. She is going to be 11 next month, but I swear acts as if she's four! Last night, I flat out told her no when she asked to sleep with me. But, she hates being told no, and kept on badgering me and pestering me and repeating, "Can I sleep with you? Can I sleep with you? Can I sleep with you?" Then, "Why can't I sleep with you?" "Why can't I sleep with you?" "Why can't I sleep with you?" I know enough to know that this is verbal abuse, and that, as a parent, I should have the upper hand. But she is no ordinary 10-year-old. She is RELENTLESS! I want to borrow that line from "The Help," and say to her, "Aint you tired, Miss Hilly? Aint you tired?" How can she exhibit so much energy and never tire of it? I am physically drained by the end of the day. Not a day goes by when she doesn't start a battle with someone, either me (more so me) or her sisters. EVERY SINGLE DAY! In fact, last night I noticed some neighbor kids outside playing and told her she could go play. "Go have fun," I said, trying to get her out of my hair. She replied, "I am having fun! I am having fun fighting with you!" She has even gone on to call me names, like fat, ugly, and bitch. And she has said things like, "I hate your guts." "I wish you weren't my mom," "I am going to run away and get into a better family." "I am going to hurt you." Last week she held a pair of scissors to her sister's throat, and last night, she pointed a hammer at me and said she was going to hit me with it. Now, I don't know if she'd actually hurt us that way, but even so, it is scary, and I am afraid I may be raising a sociopathic daughter.
I am hopeful that the counselor will give me some guidance and refer me and my daughter to a psychiatrist. I can't take this anymore. She's the only one out of the four girls who behaves this way, although they can, at times, also be verbally abusive to me. I stopped using the excuse about their daddy dying a long time ago. Sure, it was traumatic for all of us, but it does not give them the right to treat me like crap. I am still their mother.
If you have had similar circumstances with your child, how did you handle it? I don't want to be told we need counseling. We have HAD lots of counseling. What we need is a PSYCHIATRIST who can do an assessment of her. I am working on that. But, in the meantime, how do I, as her parent, ensure safety for us all and not get caught in her drama? People also tell me to "walk away," but that doesn't work, either because SHE FOLLOWS ME! She has even gone so far as to bang on my bedroom door when I lock myself inside, yelling, "Let me in!" She will then resort to kicking the door. I am at my wit's end.