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Too much second guessing

Posted by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:34 AM
  • 7 Replies

I'm still trying to figure out what is best for my son in regards to his father having him on weekends. Of course my family who hates the guy thinks he shouldn't have my son every weekend. That part I'm thinking is true. Now they're telling me to go to court that I should let them decide. We were trying to do this with the least amount of fighting and disruption to our son's life. Well now on the news we hear about a stepmother and father of a 4 year old girl who got abused to death. My parents start pointing that out and how we don't know much about his new girlfriend. He's staying with her most of the time as far as I know. Technically I don't think he's paying rent or anything while he's staying with her. Am I being naive about this situation? I've never worried that he would hurt our son and I don't think he'd let her do anything, he got mad at my parents when they spanked his hand once. It's just making me second guess everything and feel like it's going to have to get ugly. Any advice you guys have or if you've been in a similar situation would be great. It's just making me feel worse and worse.

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:34 AM
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Replies (1-7):
ngarciaf
by Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:47 AM
If you don't feel he is in harms way, honey there is nothing wrong in letting him have him every weekend. Staying out of court would be more civilized. I think the problem here is you are letting tv and ur parents interfere with your parenting. If my parents had a say...boy don't get me started. How old is your son?
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LovingMy2x4
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:58 AM
1 mom liked this

This has NOTHING to do with your parents! Outside people are usually the ones that start the drama. From what you say, he seems like a good father. Children NEED their father. Talk to your ex about how much he wants his son, and make a decision based on that. DO NOT let your parents have any say in your sons relationship with his father. No good will come of it.

mamalena137
by Bronze Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:42 PM

My son is 4 and he has autism, that makes things harder. He doesn't say much, I can't ask him if he's sad or scared or anything like that. I know my parents still make me feel like a child and that I can't make any decisions. I know they worry about my son and don't like my ex especially after the yelling argument they got into where he told them they'd never see my son again. That of course plays on their minds, my ex has a temper and he yells, the only damage he's done is broken a wall by punching it or broken his cell phone (several times). I just know I worry about him yelling at our son or the girlfriend trying to spank my son. I also know my parents feel like I'm giving my ex too much. For the first 2 1/2 years we didn't live in the same town, 'cause he couldn't afford to move, I was staying with my parents while I got a better paying job. I was basically supporting all three of us, and I'm the one who has mostly bought his clothes, diapers, food...I don't know, sometimes I think just let the courts decide and all he can do is be mad I went to a judge and let him make the decision.

banging head into wall

conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:45 PM
We did 1,2 &4 weekends so that I also had at least one weekend a month. I also got any 5th weekend (about every 3 months)
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easinpc
by Gold Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:50 PM

I think that every weekend is a lot personally.  Would you still have time with him to do activities?  What about every other weekend and a night during the week?

brieri
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:25 PM

 Men can change if they are with someone new.  It happened to me.  Unfortunately my ex wouldn't listen, time will pay.

Robsessed98
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 8:21 PM
Your family is wrong. You need to do whats in the best interest of your child. If hes a decent man who is wantingand trying to be in his dds life, how can that not be whats best for the child? Every child deserves to have two parents to love them. But, you still need to go to court and make it legal.
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