Please read "It's called a breakup because its broken" by greg behrendt. Not only is it a funny distraction but the worst mistake to make is to call or ask why. My exes new ho used that as an opportunity to torture me.
Be strong. Whatever happens you need to think of your children first.
Hello Grace. Welcome to Cafemom. This is a place for you. Find your niche and get whatever you need here. There are many women here of different beliefs and experiences. But as you post and open up, you'll find that many moms can relate to you and you to them.
With that said, I hope this advice can be useful for you. Your question is "how do you cope?" You cope by having hope. I always ask, do you believe in the power of God? Not just the idea of Him, but that despite disappointments and triumphs in life, His love will carry you beyond what you know?
Well, what happens when you don't feel that trust? Well, you have to have faith anyway. My little personal philosophy: Everyday that we get a chance to wake up, we have a opportunity to do better in some way. We have a chance to live and make a difference - whether in our own lives or that of others.
So this is my advice to you: Live! Just live! Life is about the joys and the pains. The good moments and the not so good. And if you have just a little bit of faith, you can see some great changes in your life. Your emotions will understandably enough be all over the place. But, every day that you get to wake up, make the best of it. And as you go along in the days, you'll see that you will eventually begin to feel better.
How long will it take? I can't answer that. But if you have faith that it will get better, then you will be better. Jesus said "do you want to be well? then take up your mat and walk" So I apply that to our day to day lives. Do you want to be well? Then start moving.
I've been in places where I felt like I couldn't go anywhere. But I started moving. Made a better attempt to not focus on the failures or the disappointments. I started making better family decisions. Paying more attention to my son. Better health decisions. I took my down moments and used it to make me better. I started walking. Then eating healthier. Then I started feeling better. Because of the lifestyle changes, I started sleeping better. Everyday is a journey. I have good moments and not so good moments. But thank God there are more good than not. You are going to think about your ex. But stay focused. Unfortunately, that man chose to walk away. Let him go on. You get the energy now to focus on you and your children.
Don't be afraid to take care of you. Yes, our children are VERY important in our lives. But truth is, if you are not well, then you cannot be well for your children. If you need to seek counseling, then get it. If you need to take about an hour to exercise or do whatever you do to relieve stress, then do it.
But with all of the advice, and you just may receive better advice that is useful for you, I would like to encourage you and say that you will cope. More than cope, you will thrive. But you have to want to. You are strong. You were built for this.
Take care
Quoting devynsmommy09:
Girl, snap out of it. You didnt lose him, he lost YOU and two beautiful kids. Right now, focus on the kids. Make sure that if shit hits the fan you could financially support yourself. Are you working? Are the kids school age?
i agree, spend youre time focusing on your kids, when my ds's father and i broke up after 4 years i spent a long time just focusing on my ds and myself and not letting my ex see how hard everything was for me. we have an ok relationship now, we're not together just trying to stay civil for our ds.
just take your time and stay strong and dont let him get to you..
Quoting ImaSoulMom:
I know this is a difficult time for you. Coming from a similar situation, the only thing I can really tell you is to focus on your kids. If he decided to start a family and then walk out, that is on him. Also, for me the hardest part was not letting him see how much pain I was in.
Please read "It's called a breakup because its broken" by greg behrendt. Not only is it a funny distraction but the worst mistake to make is to call or ask why. My exes new ho used that as an opportunity to torture me.
Be strong. Whatever happens you need to think of your children first.
Quoting ImaSoulMom:
I know this is a difficult time for you. Coming from a similar situation, the only thing I can really tell you is to focus on your kids. If he decided to start a family and then walk out, that is on him. Also, for me the hardest part was not letting him see how much pain I was in.
Please read "It's called a breakup because its broken" by greg behrendt. Not only is it a funny distraction but the worst mistake to make is to call or ask why. My exes new ho used that as an opportunity to torture me.
Be strong. Whatever happens you need to think of your children first.
prayers for all involved..
- gracegon07
on Oct. 11, 2012 at 10:27 PM