Venting about my mom but I think I realized something important.

[Kristina11226]

My mom called me tonight venting about my dad and how he was never there for us and I just quietly listened like I always do. Well, I was also watching this show about a girl who desperately wanted to find out how her mother had died and how they were really close. Seeing how torn up the girl was made me realize how I wanted to have that kind of connection with my own mother. I never have though. When I was in my early twenties, I was sexually assaulted pretty bad and it was really scary. When I finally told my mother, I wanted her to be mad, upset, sad or something but she just said "Well you have to be more careful next time". I wanted her to make me feel safe somehow but I didn't feel that way at all. I felt as though I should never tell anyone again. All I know is that now that I'm a mom, when my kids get hurt I won't leave their side until they know they are ok and they feel safe again.

[Robsessed98]

Im sorry you missed out on having that kind of relationship. Its good that you realized that so you can make it a point to be the kind of mother you wish youd had.

[Zacknalexmom]

Same here. I wish I had that connection with my mom. So I'm raising my kids differently. I am more close to my kids,try to give them a happier childhood then mine and being more leniant. My parents were so strict I wasn't allowed to do anything. I was miserable and unhappy.

Quoting Robsessed98:

Im sorry you missed out on having that kind of relationship. Its good that you realized that so you can make it a point to be the kind of mother you wish youd had.

[ChgIsGood2012]

Praise God for the realization. You will be okay. :-)

[quickbooksworm]

I'm not close with my mom either. She got a tomboy instead of a girly girl and we have never related to each other. Because of that she is super critical and belittles my choices. I am a totally different kind of mom than she was. I am affectionate with my son, we are always doing something fun, and I'm pretty laid back.

[meranda20]

My mom is over protective of me an i judt cant even deal with her. Im trying so Ba d to get out of her house because she treats me like i dont know how to be a mom like its her duty to step up an see about the kids an its not. It just really stresses me out an if she doesnt stop im goibg to stay far away ad possible

[LifeCafe42]

My mom and I are very similar and she is really good at pushing my buttons my son brought us a little closer

[deltathree]

same here hun - hugs.

[stillstandin246]

 I'm sorry you feel like you had to go through that alone.  I have the same kind of mom and all I can tell you is that some people, even moms, are not hard-wired to be warm and fuzzy.  My mom is more businesslike than anything and it often comes across as if she doesn't care, as if she doesn't really see me.  Take the good things from your relationship with your mom and value those.  It does help if you don't expect her to be that kind of warm fuzzy person.