Venting about my mom but I think I realized something important.
My mom called me tonight venting about my dad and how he was never there for us and I just quietly listened like I always do. Well, I was also watching this show about a girl who desperately wanted to find out how her mother had died and how they were really close. Seeing how torn up the girl was made me realize how I wanted to have that kind of connection with my own mother. I never have though. When I was in my early twenties, I was sexually assaulted pretty bad and it was really scary. When I finally told my mother, I wanted her to be mad, upset, sad or something but she just said "Well you have to be more careful next time". I wanted her to make me feel safe somehow but I didn't feel that way at all. I felt as though I should never tell anyone again. All I know is that now that I'm a mom, when my kids get hurt I won't leave their side until they know they are ok and they feel safe again.