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FREAKING OUT!!!

Posted by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 12:26 PM
  • 9 Replies

                 So this the issue I am having! I have a six yrs old daughter from a past relationship. My bf and I have been together since my daughter was two. When we had are son and broght him home...it was natural for me to say ,"go see daddy!" right? Well then my daughter started calling him daddy. I wish I would have explained it to her then or would have said something but on the flip side my bf didnt mind and I didnt want to "disrespect him and take that title away from him bc he was playing that role .Also I thought that we were a family, and were going to be married sometime. Well what four yrs later my bf and I have more issues then a couple who's been married for twenty yrs. I plan on having the "finial conversation" about what we both want, need, and except from one another. If things don't change ....I am ending this relationship once and for all ! I am so tired of being treated like shit, unhappy, miserable, feeling alone, no SEX!!! Just consent tension. I know my kids are hurting inside from this and Im done. I need advice so bad. This was my first relationship this long and this serious. I want to do what is best for us as a couple and most importantly what is best for are kids. What do I tell my daughter? What do I say when her brother goes to daddy's? Her biological father has and had nothing to do with her from day one. Im so stressed out from this and of course everything else that a mother stresses about on day to day basis! I need advice. I just want my children I to be happy,loved,respected, and appreciated. I have no clue how to handle this and how to move on from this. I know both my daughter and I will probably go to couseling . Also , I don't want her to feel like she is unloved and not wanted. I show her in many ways that I love her and support her in every way . We have "girl time" and all that fun stuff .... but us women know what a little girl will do if she wants that "male attention " later in life. I am not the type of women or mother who bounces from man to man to take of me and except NO man to take of me. I am very independant and I stand on my own two feet! frustrated

by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 12:26 PM
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Replies (1-9):
sthflachk
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 12:32 PM
Do you think your bf will not want to see her too? He's the only dad she knows. I think you should relax and cross that bridge when you come to it. If he loves her he will want to see her too.
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otoole
by Bronze Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 12:34 PM

oh man, i am sorry your not happy. have you spoken to him before about all this?? i jnow how you feel in that way of not being happy, been there. i really hope he changes so all the other stuff doesn't happen and i know what your talking about your lil girl whe she gets older. your doing your best. if you guys spilt you need to ask him will he still want to see her, im sure he loves her just as much as his son. i wish you the best of luck

Robsessed98
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 1:10 PM
Agree. Cross one bridge at a time. First thing you need to do is talk with your bf and see if yall can work things out. Good luck.

Quoting sthflachk:

Do you think your bf will not want to see her too? He's the only dad she knows. I think you should relax and cross that bridge when you come to it. If he loves her he will want to see her too.
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amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 2:46 PM

hugs & welcome.  Many of us have been through similar circumstances.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 5:14 PM

 are you sure its unreparable? could you get counseling?

if its over, would he still see her? of course he would not be responsible for child support for her but he might still be willing to spend time and see her since hes had that relationship with her. but, i do think its important that she know that he isnt her bio dad. she shoudl be told asap in age friendly terms.

3Dani75
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 6:47 PM

maybe part of your conversation should be about if he also wants visitation with her...he's been her only father figure, I hope he keeps up with that responsibility even after you split up, its not her fault your separating

miss_AP
by Bronze Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 6:57 PM

Just because he's not her biological dad doesn't mean he won't want to see her. She can go to his house too :)

Zacknalexmom
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 7:06 PM
I think your making the right decision. I believe you are mature and havve your head on your shoulders. Good mentality. :) I too am a independant woman and don't need a man to take care of me and my kids. Kudos to you! It sounds like there's been alot going on that you didn't mention. So yes,sit down and have a talk with him and see where it goes. If he's not willing to work on his end it will never work. It takes two to make things work. There's no sense staying in a relationship where your miserable and unhappy and he's not giving you his attention or sex as a man should. Don't stay in it for the kids. That hurts kids more then anything. Put your kids and yourself first. Good luck!
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MsLogansMommy
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 11:08 PM

omg I would be so upset to cause that would be so confusing for your little girl but like the others have said dont freak out yet because what if he does want to continue a relationship with her I do think when she is age appropriate you should tell her he is not bio dad but it doesnt have to be now if he is still willing to be daddy. Please keep us posted you and your kids will be in my prayers

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