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Have you ever felt like its just not going to happen for you?

Posted by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 3:21 PM
  • 19 Replies

 I've been pregnant twice and have been left twice. The first guy was an asshole and emotionlly abusive, so I guess it wasn't too much of a surprise. but the second guy was one of my best friends since high school. I trusted him 110% and we were engaged and everything was great. I felt like I had finally found the one, my soulmate and I was going to get my family. Then he turned around and broke up with me, practically kicked me out when I was 5 months pregnant and I found out later that he cheated on me and was in a relationship with the girl within a week of breaking up with me. we were going to be MARRIED...and he just threw it away like it didn't matter. He just totally changed. I was so destroyed by all of it. I ended up going through a difficult pregnancy, in and out of the hospital all alone. I've come to the realization that happiness with somebody is just not going to happen for me because now I have this stamp on me as a single mom of two kids with two different dads and even IF the opportunity came about I really don't think I could ever be able to trust anybody fully ever again. Anybody else feel this way?

 

by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 3:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mylilgooberpea
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 5:11 PM
Everyday and I was MARRIED for 7 years! He left for a no kids friend who is ok with wild parties porn aborton and sleeping around. Well good for them I say. I hate being alone especially after a promise of forever. But im not living for me anymore. My life is for my son. I know when to take breaks and get some me time di I can recharge and be super single mommy again. Someday if its in my fate ill find a keeper but for now im raising my son to eventually be one that treats women with respect! Thats the only thing keeping me sane. I do get super lonely at times but ill dig deep into my new hobby that lets me "forget" for a littlr while... Just me and my quad out riding in the sand. Maybe finding your hobby will help? People told me that for years it was only just recently I realized exactly ehat having a true hobby can do for your soul.
KeepnItTogethr
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 6:20 PM

Yeah I have a hobby. I've been getting into knitting. I miss goin out on the quad n gettin muddy. I miss those days :( Having some friends would help with me getting lonely but I don't even have that. I honestly couldn't bring myself to be with anybody anyways. My life is way too full as it is. I never get to stop going. I'm always busy between work, school, cleaning, cooking, playing with my girls and everything else...its just. I dunno. I love my girls, they're the reason I wake up in the morning, don't get me wrong. Its just my future in that aspect of life looks utterly bleak and when I think about it, its just depressing because I just know its not gonna happen. Another thing that shys me away from it is bringing another man into my girls' lives thats just going to walk away again. I can't do that to them. My first girl has gone through it twice and the second time she was old enough to be upset about it and remember and keep asking where he is and why he won't come see her anymore...I know I can't go through watching my girls through that, let alone what they have to deal with. When you're a single parent, literally EVERYTHING is complicated, I swear.

Quoting mylilgooberpea:

Everyday and I was MARRIED for 7 years! He left for a no kids friend who is ok with wild parties porn aborton and sleeping around. Well good for them I say. I hate being alone especially after a promise of forever. But im not living for me anymore. My life is for my son. I know when to take breaks and get some me time di I can recharge and be super single mommy again. Someday if its in my fate ill find a keeper but for now im raising my son to eventually be one that treats women with respect! Thats the only thing keeping me sane. I do get super lonely at times but ill dig deep into my new hobby that lets me "forget" for a littlr while... Just me and my quad out riding in the sand. Maybe finding your hobby will help? People told me that for years it was only just recently I realized exactly ehat having a true hobby can do for your soul.


mytrueloveS
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:06 PM

I'm pregnant with my second child.  I'm still with the father, but you never know.  I can honestly say I learned from my first failed relationship and if this second one were to fail, I will be prepared.  I don't trust relationships; I never wanted a second one, but I'm pregnant so might as well give it a chance. 

strngenough
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:03 PM

I absolutely do. 14 weeks pregnant and my HUSBAND left me. He was the one who wanted this child not me and he left me. 29 at this point and nothing but bad relationships with guys who everyone else think are great. I honestly feel like I just can't be loved. I feel I am unloveable.

BUT.....I KNOW THAT I AM

Robsessed98
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:11 PM
2 moms liked this
You thought you found the one, but he wasnt, which means the right one is still out there and he will accept your kids. Focus on making the best lives you can for you and the kids and dont worry about meeting men until your heart has healed more. Love finds you when you least expect it, so be willing to give it another try when it does.
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andyroosmama
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:49 PM

 Amen! When your priorities in life are straight(not that they're not) then everything else falls into place. But if you go out looking for "the one", you will find every Mr. Wrong on the planet... relax and enjoy your children...

Quoting Robsessed98:

You thought you found the one, but he wasnt, which means the right one is still out there and he will accept your kids. Focus on making the best lives you can for you and the kids and dont worry about meeting men until your heart has healed more. Love finds you when you least expect it, so be willing to give it another try when it does.

 

Mirliton
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:51 PM
1 mom liked this

Go slow focus on the taking care of you and little ones,  you have more time than you know. Be the solution to have a more comfortable footing first.

It hurts.

Over time  you will learn why  with greater  understanding why those others would not be suitable and it will be acceptable but mutlitasking a furture lovelife at this junction diminshes the strength needed for your next turns to  thrive.


queensweet
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 12:07 AM
Hugs. Anybody whom judges you because of your past, you don't need them anyway. We all have been through situations that we are not particularly proud of the decisions we have made. So what you have two kids by two men. What matters is that you are a good mom. I suggest that you focus on yourself and your beautiful babies. You may want to seek counseling to get you through these rough times. Try to seek out new hobbies and/or interestsl. Trust me when I say the right man will come around when the time is right and you will know it. Hang in there. This rough patch is only temporary. Oh yeah, and to answer your question I do feel like its not going to happen for me. I had two failed relationships, BD and ex hubby. Both of them didn't want the relationships to be over but it needed to be. Sigh. I have given up hope that the right one will come along. I am just trying to get my life in order. It looks very gloomy in my corner of the word. There is a possibility that things might not change and I have to accept it. I will just continue to pray.
graciefreesoul
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 12:20 AM

maybe at some pt i did but then i moved focus from trying to get, keep, and please a man and lookn for happiness from/with one of those idiots to focusing more on my daughter and making myself happy....i realized they don't have what it takes to make me truely happy and that there isn't some unwritten law that says everybody has to have a mate/get married and/or have kids...i look around and see all these ppl in relationships and getting married and then remember the hard work and sadness that could come with that...maybe i've just grown content with being uninvolved and have become selfish with my time and space, but it sure seems like i'm getting the better bargain...i threw away my lifetime free ride on that emotional roller coaster when dealing with menand all their quirks and having to consider them when i make decisions...im a free woman...the world better watch out for me when my daughter graduates from HS! lol

to me, love relationships and happiness (and even sex) are all so overrated...lately i just put all my time and energy in my daughter and building a better/closer relationship with God...i've never been more at peace...

Shaybay218
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 6:43 AM

I know the feeling...Some men just don't know what they have until it's gone...but I felt as if I was giving my all...doing wifely duties being just a girl friend and that was my mess up...I should have been a gf and not do wifey things trying to keep him...but I have learned my lesson...*hugs* to you moma...

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