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I'm not sure what just happend????

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I had a friend come over who I haven't seen in a long time and he walked in the door trying to kiss me. I told him no and kept trying...for 2 hours. He wouldn't leave. He was grabbing my wrists and held them at my sides or tried to get me to touch him. He kept trying to touch me and kiss me. I kept saying no. I would try to walk away and he followed me around my house. He kept cornering me against walls or on the couch. We somehow ended up in my bedroom and he picked me up, threw me on the bed and got on top of me. He put his knee between my legs and held my head so I couldn't move it and kept kissing me. I was pushing his chest so hard my arms were shaking and telling him no. He finally just stopped. I walked outside with him were we smoked a cigarette (which I haven't done in a long time) and I told him to leave. He left and said "We'll pick this up where we left off"

I have no idea what that was. He didn't rape me. He just stopped. He is normally a really nice guy and I am pretty confused as to why that happend. My arms are still shaking and I don't know how to feel about it...

by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 4:11 PM
Replies (11-20):
Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 5:22 PM
Well at least they could tell you what your options are. And he did man handle you as well as threatened you as he left.


Quoting LauraMH:

I wouldn't think that they could do anything since he didn't succeed in what he tried to do. I don't have much faith in the law anymore anyway after what happened with my ex who was abusive, but that is a whole different topic.


Quoting Andrewsmom70:

You tell them what you told us and say you don't know what to do but that you are scared and worried that he's coming back.



Quoting LauraMH:


I wouldn't even know what to say to the police since nothing really happened. It was just scary and it lasted so long I thought he was never going to leave. I'm grateful he finally did though.



Quoting MommyAJ2921:



Call the police. Especially since he said "we'll pick this up where we left off.." To me that speaks VOLUMES...whether you want to or not he wants to have sex with you and he made it perfectly clear that's what he intends to do. You need to protect yourself.



 





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LauraMH
by Bronze Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 5:29 PM

You are right. I probably should call them.

Quoting Andrewsmom70:

Well at least they could tell you what your options are. And he did man handle you as well as threatened you as he left.


Quoting LauraMH:

I wouldn't think that they could do anything since he didn't succeed in what he tried to do. I don't have much faith in the law anymore anyway after what happened with my ex who was abusive, but that is a whole different topic.


Quoting Andrewsmom70:

You tell them what you told us and say you don't know what to do but that you are scared and worried that he's coming back.



Quoting LauraMH:


I wouldn't even know what to say to the police since nothing really happened. It was just scary and it lasted so long I thought he was never going to leave. I'm grateful he finally did though.



Quoting MommyAJ2921:



Call the police. Especially since he said "we'll pick this up where we left off.." To me that speaks VOLUMES...whether you want to or not he wants to have sex with you and he made it perfectly clear that's what he intends to do. You need to protect yourself.



 



 



MsLogansMommy
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 6:57 PM
1 mom liked this

although it isnt rape it is still sexual assault you can file charges I encourage you to do that if you dont you are giving him the message that you wont you need to set a firm i mean firm boundary this minute you should also try to see if you could get a restraining order since he threatened to come back and basically he threatened to rape you I would absolutely call the police

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:07 PM
I would t let hi come over again that's for sure. And I would haw screamed and thrown him out a lot sooner than you asked him to leave.
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MommyAJ2921
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:42 PM

Does your state have a NON emergency police number? If so call and speak to someone...tell them EXACTLY what happened and what they recommend you do. Personally speaking I'd be hittin the sporting goods store for a steel bat. 

Quoting LauraMH:

I wouldn't even know what to say to the police since nothing really happened. It was just scary and it lasted so long I thought he was never going to leave. I'm grateful he finally did though.

Quoting MommyAJ2921:

Call the police. Especially since he said "we'll pick this up where we left off.." To me that speaks VOLUMES...whether you want to or not he wants to have sex with you and he made it perfectly clear that's what he intends to do. You need to protect yourself.



Robsessed98
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:01 PM
Make him an exfriend. Dont let him enter your house or be alone with him. Hell probably call with a lame excuse and swear itll never happen again. No matter what excuse he uses, remember that a part of him is capable of raping or assaulting you. ((hugs))
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LauraMH
by Bronze Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 12:29 AM

Thank you for the support/advice ladies. It was just all so weird. He was actually my ex's friend but I've know him for over 10 years. So I never though anything like that would happen. I guess I was wrong. And mommyaj2921, I think a steel bat sounds like a good idea after thinking what happened all day. My back hurts a little from him throwing me and having all his weight on me and for a while my wrist were a little sore too. I didn't mention in the original post that he also bit my breast when he was on me and even though it was through my shirt and didn't leave a mark, it hurts too. What a crappy day :(

conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 12:35 AM
I am sorry but things aren't adding up for me. If he was being aggressive why would you let him in the bedroom with you? And then you say he almost raped you but then went out and had a cigarette with him? To me that sounds like mixed messages.
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LauraMH
by Bronze Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 12:46 AM

My house is very small and I had my back against the wall in the hallway while he has in front of me but had his back turned slightly to the living room. I was trying to move away but since he was blocking the way to the living room I could only step backwards and the hall ends at my bedroom. At that point is when he pick me up.

And honestly I have no idea why I smoked with him. I haven't even smoked since January. I had been trying to get him outside to leave and when he finally got off of me, I said "lets go outside and smoke". I am not sure what I was thinking but I guess I though if I could get him out, I wouldn't have to let him back in. It was just odd and I didn't know how to respond.

Quoting conniejo75:

I am sorry but things aren't adding up for me. If he was being aggressive why would you let him in the bedroom with you? And then you say he almost raped you but then went out and had a cigarette with him? To me that sounds like mixed messages.


MsLogansMommy
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 1:01 AM

Its actually not odd at all its a perfectly normal response depending on your background and history. If you have ever been in any kind of voluntary abusive situation (and by voluntary I mean husband or boyfriend) than a normal response to fear of being attacked is to try and calm the attacker down and let them believe that you are no threat to them (and by threat I mean threat of legal action) once the attacker no longer feels there are repurcusions then they can come out of attack mode and either leave like this person did or go back to the normal routine of showing remorse and being sorry (if it is a boyfriend or husband). This is typical victim behavior I hope you wont be offended by me suggesting therapy but I think it may help you to avoid being a victim in the future and to notice the signs.  

Quoting LauraMH:

My house is very small and I had my back against the wall in the hallway while he has in front of me but had his back turned slightly to the living room. I was trying to move away but since he was blocking the way to the living room I could only step backwards and the hall ends at my bedroom. At that point is when he pick me up.

And honestly I have no idea why I smoked with him. I haven't even smoked since January. I had been trying to get him outside to leave and when he finally got off of me, I said "lets go outside and smoke". I am not sure what I was thinking but I guess I though if I could get him out, I wouldn't have to let him back in. It was just odd and I didn't know how to respond.

Quoting conniejo75:

I am sorry but things aren't adding up for me. If he was being aggressive why would you let him in the bedroom with you? And then you say he almost raped you but then went out and had a cigarette with him? To me that sounds like mixed messages.

 


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