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Why did my daddy not want me...

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So my soon to be 6 year old DD is super smart and has always had questions about "dad". I have always been able to give some kind of answer, with help from here, well today a movie was playing while I was cleaning and she stopped to look and the little girl said " your dad left before you were born, he did not want you" I changed the tv, by then the wheels in her head were just a going. About 15mins ago she came to ask me was that true for her? Why did her daddy not want her? I really can't answer that question for her the way she want. I tried the normal he was not ready and all that but she said no mommy really why? I just don't know what do say. I wish he had to look into them big brown eyes and answer this question his self, but I have not heard from him in almost 3 years. Have no way of contacting him either.I just hate this part of being mommy.
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by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:02 PM
Replies (11-20):
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:06 PM

 that makes me sad for your dd.  i told my dd that her father cant be a good father to her and that it is his fault, that sometimes parents arent ready to be parents. 

by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:10 PM
There is no other way I can word the "truth" with out saying something bad.

He was scared ran off married some crazy ass bitch, actted like you never came till I showed up at his moms house and then only then did he tell his mom and wife. And then started some shit. Said he was going to be around. Seen her 2 more times and then took off again. And last I heard was with some chick with 6 kids and playing daddy to them, even thought their real dad is there for them.

Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

How sad...just be honest with her..tell her the truth. 

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by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:21 PM
This is so sad. me and my parents disagree on this topic. Besides 2 'bump ins' my sons father hasn't been there in almost 4 years. he doesn't ask much anymore but when he did I was dumbfounded, he wasn't even 3 yet! What did I tell a 3 year old?? I told him he didn't have one but that I loved him so much and there are a lot of types of families like 2 dads, 2 moms, just a dad etc. my mom says he has a dad and just isn't there so we fight. I feel it's easier to just think he doesn't have one and it's okay, we're fine with just us and mommy loves him so much. Last night he was in the other room on the phone (pretending) and he said I love you too dad! I miss you too dad! I'll see you soon. Then asked why he doesn't have one. It breaks my heart the rare times he does ask but idk what else to tell him :'(
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by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:56 PM
Explain to her that you don't really know why "daddy" is not around. Ensure to her that you, however are there for her and will always be there for her. Remind her to never look for who is not there, but always look at who is.
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by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 11:27 PM
Quoting angie2568:

I have gone through this with my kids. I told them that he loves them very much, he just cant be responsible enough to be a parent, but he does love you and get updates about school, dr & dentist visits and photos of yall through the years. It was a revolving door off and on for years but now no contact for the kids to him. (14 yr daughter and 8 yr son).

My youngest is 4 his father was involved the first year but not since, only gets photos and yearly updates. He knows his name and that he loves him but I told him I dont know why he doesnt come but he does love you.

Thats all I have known to say and it seems to work.

Good luck Mama - it is really hard but just hang in there believe me I know how your heart aches bc you want him to be there for your child.

does he live them? I'm not trying to be mean but I'm sure a kid will think that if dad loves me he would want to hang out with me.
I'm just trying to plan my own answers for the future
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 11:32 PM
O my im glad my dd isnt old enough YET to realize her daddy doesn't care bout her. I hope he decides after i file for CS he needs to step up and come MEET her. He sees his other 3 just not her :/
There will never be an answer good enough so she isnt hurt. Im sorry your dealing with that crap, i wish some men would see how their choices hurt the kids :(
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by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 11:57 PM

My little boy is 4 weeks old, and my bf left and has never seen him. I am dreading this day and think about it constantly :(

by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 2:46 AM
But he wasn't ready to be a parent...that's the truth.
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by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 6:00 AM

*Hugs* moma...You said the right thing...

by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 9:15 AM

Awww:( God bless !!!! I feel for these children!!!!! My 14 yr old daughters dad walked out of her life because dau and I agree she doesn't need to be @ his now wife and dad refuses to see dau if she does not come to their home...they've been together since dau was 6 yrs old but it has been never ending TROUBLE. The wife is bipolar and her moods REALLY flip...she's fine one minute and next going behind her dads back and starting BAD arguments with me so that I won't let dau go there and no matter how many times we tell the dad the truth...he believes whatever his wife says no matter what. Daughter even texted her feelings to her dad last week and he never once responded. Unbelievable to me that any parent can do this to a child. Sad thing is dau feels bad for the mental abuse with wife towards her dad but also realizes he is weak and chooses not to stand up to his own wife.

You don't know where her dad is or a way to contact him....I would just be honest and tell her that much. Maybe a blessing in disguise. LOTS OF HUGGS!!!!!:)

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