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Why am I still so hurt and dissapointed?

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My STBX posted on FB yesterday that he is in a new relationship. I only moved out 8 weeks ago! I know he's over me, but I thought he'd wait for a full on relationship until we were actually divorced. He introduced this gal to my son already, then told him not to tell me. All I want is some honesty. If he's dating, tell me first before bringing our son into it. And NEVER tell our son to keep a secret from his mom. I'm not mad that he's dating. I'm not surprised by that at all. But really? Posting it for the world to see on FB? That's just tacky and rude.
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by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:38 PM
Replies (11-20):
Kazmira222
by Bronze Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 12:56 AM
I've broken up with someone and theywere dating within a week. :/ it sucks, but life does go on. I'm still learning to cope with these things.
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kagegirl
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 7:22 AM
My ex pulled this shit. Unfortunately, it took him eight years to grow up to the point where we now have asemi civil relationship. He has finally realized I an not the wicked Bitch of the west.
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devynsmommy09
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:04 AM

He sounds like a douche.  Sorry you have to put up with that.

steviechick
by Gold Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 11:10 AM

I found out during my separation that I was married to a sociopath.  He had been having an affair for three years and fathered two kids with this gf (now wife).  I also learned that my ex has a split-personality disorder.  Put these together and add severe money problems and you have my ex-husband.  It's the most shocking thing I've ever had to deal with and I hope I will ever have to deal with.  I've gone through hell and back with my ex.  How can he just up and have an affair - live a dual life for three years, create children with another woman and remain married and have a relationship with me while he was active duty?  The lies that my ex told me, my daughter, and his own parents will forever resonate with us.  We all have come to the conclusion that my ex is severely mentally unstable.  He even had the audacity to ask me to change our separation date to the date he became active duty just so he could convince his gf (now wife) and his employees that he had been separated the entire time he told them we were.  He tried to embezzle money from me while he was having an affair.  How can someone do this to his own wife of 26 years?   He should be put in front of a firing squad and have me pull the trigger. 

You were divorced from your ex when he decided to move on.  Mine cheated on me for three years, and had children in the process.  He will continue to lie to his new wife, have money problems and more than likely cheat again.  I hope to hell that happens.  He deserves to be kicked into the gutter.

adulation
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 11:48 AM

It's still so new, it will take a while to get over it, and with a kid involved it is even harder! You have every right to be angry about him trying to get your son to keep secrets from you. that's just wrong!! I hope you are able to talk to him about it.

As for him posting things on FB, you can't control, but i'm sure people know he's an ass, so just try not to let it get to you, or delete him.  i am not "friends" with lila's dad on FB.  my boyfriend IS friends with him on FB because theyknew eachother outside of me, and even though I am totally over everything that happened between us, it's still hard seeing some of the things he posts, esp when he posts pics of him with his other kids without Lila there.  :/   and that reminds me why i'm not friends with him! ugh.


VicAndKailee
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 11:53 AM
i totally see where you're coming from. I would be more upset about him introducing your child to another woman before discussing it with you. even it'd you guys aren't on good terms there's has to be room for communication.
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miss_AP
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 12:50 PM

Ditto on all accounts! Hugs mama.

steviechick
by Gold Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 2:06 PM

I wish my ex's new wife wouldn't have a FB account.   My DD, our friends and family really don't need to know what's going on with the homewrecker's new life.  I mean, really?  She's a homewrecker that has two kids with my ex.  She has no respect for me, my DD nor my ex's extended family because she's now married to my ex.  Yes, she has a new life and can have a FB account, but in all respect for herself as a homewrecker she should close her FB down or at least make it 'Private' not 'Public'.

Sj218
by Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:37 PM
There was one affair and our divorce won't be final for a few months. But definately NOT what you had to go thorough. The whole thing sucks. Why can they just move on and have a life while we're left to deal with all the damage and destruction. I feel like I'm the one paying the consequences for his crappy decisions. Why doesn't he have to pay?


Quoting steviechick:

I found out during my separation that I was married to a sociopath.  He had been having an affair for three years and fathered two kids with this gf (now wife).  I also learned that my ex has a split-personality disorder.  Put these together and add severe money problems and you have my ex-husband.  It's the most shocking thing I've ever had to deal with and I hope I will ever have to deal with.  I've gone through hell and back with my ex.  How can he just up and have an affair - live a dual life for three years, create children with another woman and remain married and have a relationship with me while he was active duty?  The lies that my ex told me, my daughter, and his own parents will forever resonate with us.  We all have come to the conclusion that my ex is severely mentally unstable.  He even had the audacity to ask me to change our separation date to the date he became active duty just so he could convince his gf (now wife) and his employees that he had been separated the entire time he told them we were.  He tried to embezzle money from me while he was having an affair.  How can someone do this to his own wife of 26 years?   He should be put in front of a firing squad and have me pull the trigger. 


You were divorced from your ex when he decided to move on.  Mine cheated on me for three years, and had children in the process.  He will continue to lie to his new wife, have money problems and more than likely cheat again.  I hope to hell that happens.  He deserves to be kicked into the gutter.


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Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 11:06 PM
The thing a lot of parents don't consider is that the child's life is one life. Yes, there are two homes but for the child, it's one life. Expecting the child not to talk to mom's side about what happened at dad's or vice versa is ridiculous.

My son had to deal with this for a while when his stepmother was jealous of anything about me. She basically forbid my son from talking about anything related to his life with my side of his family. It was hurtful for my son. Thankfully his stepmom had her own child and realized how ridiculous she was being.

Having a child keep secrets is putting them in a no win situation. If they keep a secret from one parent and that parent finds out, they'll be hurt. And so will the parent that said to keep the secret if it's found out that the secret came out. Plus the child doesn't feel right keeping secrets.


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