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Single Moms Single Moms

Single mom, pregnant and and abandoned

Posted by on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:00 AM
  • 14 Replies
I am 32. Have a 13 year old daughter and 5 months pregnant with my son. The father recently walked out with the reason of not bing able to accept my first child. We have known each other for years and he knew about her from the get go. Still he entered into a relationship with me and even proposed to me. He was excited about me being pregnant and he just up and left me to do this alone. I am devastated, terrified and alone. I don't think I would be as crushed about it if I wasn't having his son. He is being so ugly to me and could care less that I am hurting. I am really trying to find my strength but it is a struggle to make it coherently through each day. I need someone to tell me how to pull it together or maybe just tell me everything is going to be ok.
by on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:05 AM
1 mom liked this
Welcome to the group! I'm glad you found us!
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Shea32
by on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:24 AM
Thank you me too
Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:33 AM
1 mom liked this
Welcome!! So glad you found us!!!
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steviechick
by on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:44 AM
1 mom liked this

Hi and welcome to the group.  The only advice I can give you is to center your thoughts around your baby and your DD.  Your ex is the one with the problems.  I know you hurt and you are in pain.  Not sure why our lovers hurt us the way they do, but they do.  My ex left me for a co-worker he got pregnant twice.  He kept his affair from me for three years until he deployed to Kuwait.  I found out just five days after he told me of his first child (a 10 month old son) that his bimbo was pregnant yet again (later with a girl).  Talk about shell shocked.  I was literally dragged through the mud because my ex (of 26 years) decided to chase after someone 16 years his junior.  So, I've been in your shoes.  The only thing we can do for times like this is to direct our lives towards our kids and what's centered around them.  The exes walked out on us because they are selfish jerks.  Pray for them.

Shea32
by on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:59 AM
Men are jerks and I was hoping this one would be different but nope. He is more concerned with himself, material things and buying a motorcycle while I am the one paying all the medical bills.
MichelleSw
by on Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:03 AM
1 mom liked this

Hello & welcome :) The hard part is getting over the unexpected loss of your Ex; all the while being pregnant! Hurting and being confused are a given, but you will get through it and come out on the other side. 

justahousewife
by on Oct. 24, 2012 at 12:08 PM

Did something happen between your daughter and the bf, did they not get along or is this something new? I would be a little suspicious of someone who all of a sudden used my daughter as an excuse to not be in our lives, especially after being around for years. That's a red flag for me. 

As far as the new baby, how does your teen feel about it? Is she excited too? I ask because my oldest was 6 when I had the LO and she was so excited about being a big sister that it really helped. She still adores her little sister (now 10 and 4) and has been asking for more siblings. Having your oldest onboard will really help you a lot. Try to make her feel as important in the new baby's life as possible, encourage the big sister bonding and make her your "right hand man" when it comes to taking care of the baby. Big sisters are a huge blessing. Trust me.

It sucks the bf bailed but if that's the way he is then it's probably better that he left now. Concentrate on the kids and having a healthy pregnancy. Seek legal  counsel to deal with the donor. 

Good luck. You can do it and it will be ok. Just don't spend too much energy worrying about the ex. He's not worth it.

Shea32
by on Oct. 24, 2012 at 12:37 PM
Nothing at all happened. She adored him. She is excited about being a big sister and gets even more excited talking about him. I think more of his problem is he was laid off and is a very materialistic person and now I see was only concerned with himself. He has no feelings at all to what he has done or how he has made others feel.
easinpc
by Gold Member on Oct. 24, 2012 at 12:42 PM
1 mom liked this

I am so sorry to hear about everything that you are going through right now.  Hopefully with time things get better for you!  Hugs!

brieri
by Platinum Member on Oct. 24, 2012 at 3:46 PM
1 mom liked this

 Hi and welcome to the group.

Once baby comes it will ease up.

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