don't know what to do.. so confused and feeling super stressed. please help
i dont know what to do..
i have a 4 year old daughter.
she is the love of my life.
my daughters father doesnt see her.. and he has never paid child support.
when i fell pregnant with her.. he and i lived together..
when i told him that i was pregnant he was furious and called an abortion clinic right away, making an appointment for me,
he started to bully and blackmail me ..
telling me that if i kept the baby he would kill himself..
that it would ruin our relationship
the pressure and bullying from him was horrible.. i couldnt take it anymore
so i told him that i couldnt kill my unborn child.. so he threw me out and told me that if i ever contacted him again.. he would move and change all of his details so that i couldnt find him.
i had to move overseas to live with my family so that i could be in peace.
i moved back in 2009 as my parents wanted a relationship with my daughter. and to be honest i missed my friends and my parents.
i asked him in 2009 if he would help out.. and he responded with 'i'd rather kill you both and then myself'
'i hope you and your kid both burn in hell'
anyways.. i am a full time student.. i am working my rear end off trying to finish my degree,,
i am also doing my required hospital prac..
money is extremely tight and it is stressing me out...
food, rent, bills, her school fees, my school fees..
its just overwhelming :(.
my daughter does a dancing class with her friends and has done for the last year..
she almost had to miss out this term.. as with food and rent ect i just could pay the fee..
i had to ask my parents for help.. so that she didnt miss out..
i felt humiliated.
he has a computer science degree and earns over 100 k a year..
he also got married to a teacher this year.. and they got married on of all days my daughter's 4th birthday.
so he isnt hurting for money.. but i am .
he should pay for half of her school fees.. half of her swimming lessons..ect
i posted on a local single mothers grooup website asking for help as he isnt listed on thebirth cert.. so i wanted advice
every single reply told me not to file.
a few people said that it wouldnt be fair to him to pay for a child he has had nothing to do with.
a few said that i made the choice to keep the baby knowing that he didnt want it.. so the responsibilty is mine alone..
some people said that... he has forgotten he has a kid so dont remind him.
dont ask him as you'll open pandora's box and regret it.
find another way of getting money..dont ask him.
i feel so confused now..
i didnt make myself pregnant..
i am making myself ill trying to do everything..
why is it so bad to ask him to help out..
if he paid half of her costs.. that would be half i wouldnt have to try to find..
and it would be such a stress off me..
and i could put that money towards bills and food..
am i in the wrong?