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Not allowed to have male friends

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Does your current (or any past) significant other have a problem with you being friends (just friends - never been anything more) with the opposite sex?  Do you have a problem with your SO being friends with the opposite sex?

by on Nov. 11, 2012 at 12:19 AM
Replies (21-30):
MsLogansMommy
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 1:17 AM
2 moms liked this

when I was a lot younger I dated someone who had a problem with it and I remember feeling flattered that he was jealous but im older now and my relationships are more mature if a man tells me that "I cant' have a male friend then he is not the man for me if he tells me "he has a problem with it but it is my choice" then I would respect him for expressing his feelings and try to include him in the friendship or try to figure out why it bothers him outcome may still be same as first example but guy number two at least gets the benefit of the doubt. I'm not looking for an insecure man who wants to control me. As for how I feel about my man having female friends I'm not insecure I know my worth and if for some reason I start to feel insecure I know it has more to do with our relationships foundation then the relationship he has with another female. If a man wants to cheat there really isnt much you can do to stop him the persons actions you control are your own and I would leave and find someone who values me and can be trusted I dont understand the mentality of women who blame the other woman I mean its not like she raped the guy if a guy cheats he is usually a willing participant and he is the one that I have a committment with not the woman so why would I put energy into hating the female kwim.

Cowgirl_Coyote
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 1:35 AM

Well, my husband has requested that, if I choose to have male friends, than he gets to meet them. I have a few male buddies from high school that were grandfathered in because we've known each other since we we were 14 or 15 years old. One of my male friends I have actually known since kindergarten. He has met them and spent time with them and has no problem with them. He is always welcome to hang out with us but he doesn't usually take up our invitation. One of my high school buds and I dated briefly (for about two weeks before we decided that we were better off as friends) in the tenth grade and my husband knows all about that.

As for my husband, he has only one female friend that isn't married. He knew her in high school and she lives in California now and visits her family a few times a year and always makes an effort to get together with him. The three of us go out to dinner or I cook for her, just because she doesn't want to cause trouble which I think if very considerate of her. We have mutual friends that are of the oposite sex but they are mostly married and we go off with them together.

For the most part, my hubby and I aren't very possive or jealous. We try very hard to trust, mostly because that trust has never been broken. We love each other and our child too much to break that.

Don't get me wrong. If I see some busty little blonde flirting with my hubby in a resturaunt, she will walk away with her teeth in a zip lock bag and he has chased men from me several times but we never flirt back.

CafeMom Tickers
TAG_ur_it
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 3:52 AM

i've always had more guy friends.  DH has had some jealousy issues, but his ex wife cheated with a guy from church and ran off out of state with his daughter, so yeah.. but we both agree that those are his issues and that if he can't trust me, we can't be together.  there is only one person i've quit talking to over it and that is an ex that i was still friends with but who informed me that he would leave his wife if i said the word.  that was just inviting drama that i wasn't willing to deal with. 

JenB1983
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 4:09 AM
1 mom liked this
My XH didn't care. Of course he was also a serial cheater and probably figured I was the same way. Lol

My current S/O doesn't like that I have male friends......at all. However, I A) work first shift at a factory, one of four women, and the only machine operator. Of course I've made male friends. And B) was in the military, so anothervmale dominated profession. I had 28 years of living before S/O and I got together, and I will not change who I am because of him. None of the guys I'm friends with have ever been anything more. No romantic involvement or even a fuck buddy, so, IMO, he needs to get over it.

He has female friends(to include one that he drunkenly slept with in the past year), but I don't care and completely trust him.
tezell78
by Member on Nov. 12, 2012 at 5:11 AM
My most recent ex boyfriend, used to do the passive aggressive thing, I was interviewing for an internship, and told him about it, that evening we had some wine, I went to bed,3 am. He comes to bed taking shit about how maybe if he worked here and drive this it might get my p***** wet etc etc etc. that was his usual pattern. every thing was thrown in my face if we didn't have sex that night, never mind if I was tired, or didn't feel good, because he wasn't tired and felt fine..............we never lived together, thank god...... It was fun.........
The guy I'm seeing now, knows that he is the only one I am interested in, has mostly female friends, he is fully supportive and understanding of my relationship with my best friend, a guy I have been friends with for 22 years.
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westtxmomtobe
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 6:29 AM

Nope, not at all. My best best friend has always been a guy, he's been my bff since high school. Dh doesn't have

any problems with it at all. Might help that we both kinda think bff may bat for the other team, but he's not out and

has never said anything like it so we don't know. Dh doesn't have any chick friends, and only had one friend that

was female around while we were dating. I almost snapped her neck cause she's was breaking it to shove her

ta-tas in his face, but she was obviously trying to get me mad. I hate chicks like that! I think I'd be ok with it, but tbh

he'd be the first guy I was comfortable with in that situation. I just know I trust him alot, and I have no reason to

think anything, and have never been with a man I could actually trust.



lasombrs
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 7:00 AM

I am not allowed to have male friends or talk to people i used to go to high school with. I should have grown up and have no need for them. :( Kinda sucks but I have grown used to it over the past 8 years. I never go anywhere anyway and with our son so sick I would never have time to hang out anyway.

rowansmum
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 7:09 AM
5 moms liked this

I will never understand this.  Did you know that one of the markers of an abusive relationship is one partner controlling who the other socializes with?

samurai_chica
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 7:12 AM

He doesn't care about my male friends that i have known forever...he is friends with them too.

He doesn't care about my male co-workers that i have become friends with....he has become friends with them too.

The ONLY time he may have an issue, is if i meet some random guy & say "Oh he's just a friend"...but at the same time, if he met some random chick & said "Oh, don't worry...we're just friends"...i would raise an eyebrow.....


bebe100112
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 7:53 AM
1 mom liked this

I wasnt allowed to have any male contact, even when his friends came over. He wouldnt leave me alone with them. That shouldve been a warning sign....couple weeks later he hit me for the first time. Its never a good situation, most relationships like that never have a happy ending...Good luck.

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