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does anyone here have family that just doesnt have a clue how hard and overwhelming it is to be a single parent?

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I get so frustrated with my own family not understanding what i go through everyday.  I have been a single parent for 12 years, I have my 13 year old and my baby that just turned 2.  I have too much going on seems like,  I am working but barely making ends meet, my parents offer to help me out financially and they have but emotionally they think im fine.  My siblings have their own life and seem like they judge me for having another child out of wedlock.  I have one friend who I can depend on for help, but other than her, it seems like to each his own.  My father is in stage 4 and that is soooooo hard for me and my oldest, I visit often but everyone else is always toooo busy.  I feel  the rest of the family doesnt visit him that often(I think its because they know I will) but i  just feel overwhelmed and its hard.  I was wondering if anyone else feels this way, maybe we could talk? People that dont even know me that well ask me how I get through these times and I know it's my heavenly father that is carrying me through these tough times.

by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 1:32 AM
Replies (21-30):
browneyedgrl00
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:25 AM

Completly understand. I try talking to my family and it makes my situation worse. For those who don't have children they have a whole lot to say but when you haven't walked in someone shoes you can't  have much too say. My mom was a single parent by CHOSE and when I speak on wanting the father to do more or wanting to be in a relationship with him they don't want to hear it and shut me out.

I decided to visit this site because I thought it would be a good support system and that's what  we need. It's tough but if you have someone in your life that you can confide other than family  that will provide good advice and just listen then try tuning everyone else out. Good Luck

tyfry7496
by Janet on Nov. 18, 2012 at 12:50 PM
Thank you. I'm used to it and wisely stay away.



Quoting raegan1221:

 What? $50 a week? That's bs. Just because we get child support doesn't mean we have no children to support lol. It helps but there's still A LOT more that goes into support a child. Sorry your family is like that!


Quoting tyfry7496:

Not necessarily being a single mom, they just insist I have no child to support because I get child support and my cousin doesn't. Duh !! I get $50 a week IF he pays it and unlike my cousin I don't have a husband now who helps support my child. I am told that in an idiot and shouldn't complain because I have no one to support or raise. Really? Last I checked I still have a child.

Another reason I rarely speak to anyone in my family.

 

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mz23
by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 1:40 PM
Everyone in my family is married so they don't know what,it's like. It sucks I don't have a dependable partner and father for my dd but I'm there for her and so is my family. I'm struggling financially right now but I'm taking steps to change that. I live with my parentswhich sucks but I,don't have to worry about being homeless. Things suck right now but I have tremendous hope. I don't really vent to my family too much about it I'm a little embarrassed . Ill talk about some stuff everything else ill come on cafe mom or to my friend who's not a single mom but has a loser boyfriend lol.
L.I.MOMMY1980
by Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 3:21 PM

yes plenty and it's annoying

obscured1
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 4:01 PM

I feel very much the same way.. I've been a single mom for a year and a half, with two kids. Their father is in GA and I'm in NY. I've never felt more alone in my entire life... and that's really saying something. My mother helps me as far as picking up the kids when I need her to, letting them stay with her when they are sick so I don't have to miss work, but no one is there to just listen. I always wish my happily married sister would offer to take my kids on a saturday, or take them with her family when they go do something fun... but nothing. I feel like I'm a robot just going through all the daily stuff just so my kids are taken care of. Forget having much fun, or down time..I feel like a mess all the time and no one sees it... I'm sorry you feel the same way, at least you're not alone in your feelings.

Zacknalexmom
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 4:45 PM
Yes! You and I are in the same boat. I been divorced 6 yrs and my ex refuses to pay child support. Their dad isn't in their lives(court ordered). I and my kids wing it alone with no help from anyone,besides my mom helping out financially occasionally. I work a full time job and barely make ends meet. I don't date cause for me it seems like I'm going on a job interview. Men just can't deal with women who are single moms. In my case scenario that is. I don't really have any friends and me and my sister rarely talk. So I know how you feel.
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Shaybay218
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 5:24 PM

Yes...my family is like that but i'm to the point where I pay them no attn. at all! I distance myself only to keep me from saying things I don't need too...they pretty much leave me alone for the most part!

828momof2
by Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 9:13 PM

Yes! It seems like no one in real life understands what it's like being a single mom. My brother's married with three kids. Whenever his wife goes out of town (which isn't that often) or if she has to work late, my both parents are always there "helping" him. I've been a single mom for almost 13yrs, had DD 3yrs ago and I usually have to beg my mom to watch her so I could catch up on homework, cleaning, or grocery shopping much less having a break now and then. DS goes to his dad's every other weekend (usually) but DD is always with me. My friends tell me they don't know how I do it but they also don't try to understand. I can call them, needing advice or just wanting to vent and have an adult to talk to but they hardly answer. And when they call, text or email and I don't reply right away, not knowingi they even expected a reply, they get upset and start asking if I'm mad and you can hear it in their voice that they're disappointed I didn't drop everything and answer their call.

I'm sorry you don't have more support especially with your father. I freaked out when I first learned my dad had throat cancer but he's in remission now so I can't imagine what it's life for you. Your other family members may be having a hard time dealing with that reality, too and not intentionally putting more stress on you to visit and make up for them not visiting. Maybe they're trying to distance themselves to lessen their pain. At least you have your faith to help get you through and all of us here! (hugs)

missladyvixen1
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:01 PM

I am currently living with my parents and sister, my daughter has cancer. 

Its hard deal with everything, I have countless dr appt.I have to do homework, well visit stay home with her when she not feeling well. and so on.

My sister like to say, i am not a single parent because I have her. The last time I check I am the one that is bring her to all dr appt, going to school confences, cooking, cleaning and whatever. The only thing she might do is pick up my child from daycare


I dont really have a life, I am stress beyond belief. 

michiganmom5150
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:15 PM
Yes! My mom tries to understand, but my parents are still married and she was always a sahm, with some pt jobs when we were older. She really has nothing to say when i break down over something that seems crazy. It's usually not that, it's everything is too much. Working like a crazy person, barely getting by, trying to be a good mom, plus one of my ds has a mental illness and this is very difficult to deal with. It's hard! I'm glad that I have recently met some single mom friends who ' get' it,
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