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does anyone here have family that just doesnt have a clue how hard and overwhelming it is to be a single parent?

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I get so frustrated with my own family not understanding what i go through everyday.  I have been a single parent for 12 years, I have my 13 year old and my baby that just turned 2.  I have too much going on seems like,  I am working but barely making ends meet, my parents offer to help me out financially and they have but emotionally they think im fine.  My siblings have their own life and seem like they judge me for having another child out of wedlock.  I have one friend who I can depend on for help, but other than her, it seems like to each his own.  My father is in stage 4 and that is soooooo hard for me and my oldest, I visit often but everyone else is always toooo busy.  I feel  the rest of the family doesnt visit him that often(I think its because they know I will) but i  just feel overwhelmed and its hard.  I was wondering if anyone else feels this way, maybe we could talk? People that dont even know me that well ask me how I get through these times and I know it's my heavenly father that is carrying me through these tough times.

by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 1:32 AM
Replies (31-40):
Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:25 AM
At times they don't, but its rare. They do all they can to help!!!
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reneelow
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:43 AM

Wow, you have got to talk to me.  My daughter is 11 years old and even when i was with her father i was a single parent.  i'm now divorced and he's an ass and no help and in juail for the next 4 years.   my son is 15 months old and were expecting in february.  when i was on maternity leave i got laid off and have been out of work since partly b/c daycare is too expensive so the most basic needs that my daughter has like clothes, food, school supplies i have to suck up jmy pride and ask my mom for it.  i can;t financially take care of my duaghter alone right now.  everytime i go to my mom and it's owrse now everytime i see her which is almost daily she is getiting down on me for anything and everything she can.  she's a better mom and house keeper and everything and she did it with 3 kids and i'm never gonna b able to handle having 3 but it her minds she thinks she's not hurting me  buty helping and supporting me.  my sister is a single mom but her son lives with my parents  and her daughterrs father is a dick.  b/c joel was nice i know nothing about all her trials and tr;ibulations whe has to deal with and i just want to put her in my shoes for a week or day.  being 6 months preggo and all and say see it's not easy.  i'm quick to laugh and smile b/c that'swho i am and i think it makes it seem like my life is easy or something.  my dad is sick too.  he has Wegener's Granulomatosis.....extremely rare auto immune disease....he's never been in remission for over 1 year and he's always sick bc he has to shut his immune system down.  he still works full time so my mom and nephew have a roof and food and whatever else they and my duaghter needs and its killing him.  he could throw another  blood  clot that could kill him tomorrow or live to be 100 (not likely) but no one knows....every case is different and there aren't enough cases to study.  anyway....anyh help i get from my parents i have to listen to them kindly tell me how shitty a job i'm doing so ki already feel like a gigantic failure for my own shortcomings and made to feeel worse.  i dont' even know how to explain it.  my family has more sympathy for her father b/c his family is drug addictedx or just not close than theyt have for me.  i'm getting dicked by him and only getting worse but i'm supposed to fveel bad for him? b/c he's f*cled i[ pver amd pver amd pver? nand broken my daughers hear numerous times and i alone listen to and comfort t the hysterical crying and hurt. all im saying is our situation is slightly different but i don't know anyone who could understand my situaiton better than you.  i thought my family alone was so critical of each other for  no reason...i honestlyh thought i was alone in having insane family...lol....your family thinks your fine?  my family knows how im struggling emotionallt and they don't have time to listen or i am told that i chose this life and neewd to deal with it.  atleast your family thinks your ok...i think mine just doestn't care....it hurts.....so if you want friend me or message me or whatever...i'm new to this so not sure?

reneelow
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:59 AM

OMG!  my mom has to go to gym no matter what and God forbid they close for snow or something she withdrawals i swear.   i've been pushed aside for the gym and she never takes mhy kids but she can call me anytime and tell me she dropping my nephew with me for whatever reason and if  i try to say no or wait it's like wwIII...it's so rude adn disrespectful and if i try to talk to her about it i somehow end up feeling guilty b/c she did something a LOng time ago FOR me....ID,K HOW`

newbie1198
by Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 11:52 AM

 My family lives close by and they are help to me but they just don't have a clue what I'm going thru on a daily basis.  I'm so sorry to hear about your father stay strong we are never truly alone.  I wish you better days ahead

newbie1198
by Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 11:56 AM

I was married for 15yrs to my hs sweetheart, I am an only child too.  I have always been close to all my extended family growing up, but as the older ones pass away it seems the next generation isn't as close.  Me and my kids are the 3 Amigos 

Quoting needhope:

My situation is somewhat different, I was married for 21 yrs, got divorced, then my ex died 9 months later, I am an only child, both parents gone, SO, LOL, I guess my point is, my extended family that I was close with growing up, but less communication over the years. After my mom died 12 years ago they have passively excluded me and my kids, ex.. never been invited to family, I was being treated like a long lost relative. 

SO  I decided in the last year or so to move forward and live my life without them, I feel much better, but yes I can totally relate as far a not having any family support, I feel your pain sister!

 

 

hotmama0808
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 3:55 PM

 Yes, my mother and sister have no clue and even after I try to explain it to them they still don't get it. My mom tries to tell me she knows what I'm going through because my dad worked alot when my sister and I were little, but he was WORKING to make the family money. He came home, he was still there for her and my sister and I. I really hate it when she tries to say she knows what I am going through. My sister is 27 and has no kids and is still so selfish and still kind of in college mode. I just stopped trying to get them to understand and I just do what I have to do.

Momof232
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:29 PM
I think that they just don't understand. My family lives 1800 miles away so there not here to truly see what I deal with on a daily basis.
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HalleyEricaMom
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 11:28 PM

So has anyone found a local support group in your area? I joined Parents without partners- but there aren't very many folks with young children - I keep thinking there has got to be alot of single mothers out there that could band together for support and child co ops etc. Any suggestions? I'm in colorado - not sure where everyone is.

Thanks

 

WowzaMom
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 11:46 PM
Faith will get you through this. I'm so sorry about your dad and my prayers are with you.
I understand the lack of emotional help, I think it's because there is no sense of empathy- if they haven't experienced it first hand it's difficult to relate.
coffeemate4
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:10 AM

Yes I have family like that, they expect to much from you, and dont know you are already on overload!

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