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Ex told me not to let my daughter to call. Update 11/14. Phone call.

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So need your help, my ex texted me and said that ky can not call him anymore. What should I do? I feel like I should allow her to call, she's his kid too. She wants to call him and I don't have the heart to say no to her.I am so mad he's so wrong! Any help would be great.

Update for 11/14
So I called my daughter's dad and he answered I told him that he needed to tell ky that he doesn't want her to call anymore if thatd truly how he felt. He said "fine I will" so I put it on speaker phone, and said here she is. He said "kyleigh daddy can't have you call anymore, goodbye" he hung up and she just burst in to tears. She is so hurt, Ugh what an ass. I want to hit him in the face. 

Please maybe I handled it wrong but please don't make me feel worse. Thank you.
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by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 11:14 AM
Replies (161-170):
Anariama
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 7:39 AM

BTW I think you did the right thing. I grew up without my bio-dad,he didnt want anything to do with us.Except no one ever told me that and I spent my childhood sad and in fantasy land waiting for my "real" dad to come get me.I finally realized around age 17 that I would never know him and he did not care. At least now your daughter can come to terms with it and not sit around for years thinking her daddy is being kept away from her.KWIM?

erinmomofone
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 7:45 AM
Yes I know what you mean. My dad left when I was 3 I thought my mom didn't want me to talk to him. She always said no Erin you cant call your dad. I hated that.


Quoting Anariama:

BTW I think you did the right thing. I grew up without my bio-dad,he didnt want anything to do with us.Except no one ever told me that and I spent my childhood sad and in fantasy land waiting for my "real" dad to come get me.I finally realized around age 17 that I would never know him and he did not care. At least now your daughter can come to terms with it and not sit around for years thinking her daddy is being kept away from her.KWIM?


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erinmomofone
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 9:14 AM
Poor ky she's upset today. Having some of her friends over.
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stickyfingers
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 11:03 AM
yea i think so. i have been in a very similar situation and to be honest its better for him just to be gone instead of the mean words to go with it. so really unless you have ever been the mother of a child whos dad just decided not to be a part of their life you really dont understand.


Quoting erinmomofone:

Oh So it's better to lie to her? So she remembers that? There was more words between us away from ky before he told her. So stop.




Quoting stickyfingers:

omg why would you set her up to be heartbroken like that? poor poor girl! she will always remember that!


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erinmomofone
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 11:11 AM
I am a mother of a child who's father left her, I am also a child of a father who left me and I think what I did is better. You have your opinions and I have mine, so please do not be mean about it. Thank you.


Quoting stickyfingers:

yea i think so. i have been in a very similar situation and to be honest its better for him just to be gone instead of the mean words to go with it. so really unless you have ever been the mother of a child whos dad just decided not to be a part of their life you really dont understand.




Quoting erinmomofone:

Oh So it's better to lie to her? So she remembers that? There was more words between us away from ky before he told her. So stop.






Quoting stickyfingers:

omg why would you set her up to be heartbroken like that? poor poor girl! she will always remember that!



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strngenough
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 11:52 AM
I get you were trying to punish him, but you only punished her. She won't forget this. She will always here her dad saying I don't love you. As a parent you are supposed to explain things to your kids in a way that they can understand and protect them. You don't throw them to the wolves to get revenge you want. Do you think he cares right now? Do you think he's like cant believe I did that? Nope. So all you did is have a child hear that daddy doesn't want me with no buffer. Attack me because you would do the same good for you, but your supposed to protect your children and explain the world to them because they don't understand. Not crush them for spite.


Quoting Misha1204:

She did the right thing. He's the one w/the problem. That's how he felt...ok, but what parent says that to an innocent child, let alone his own dd? Ky didn't need to hear this or a lie from her mother.
It's women like you that make it easy for men to be deadbeats. It's called taking responsibility. Why is it ok for Erin to take responsibility for her dd, but not him?

Erin, don't listen to this chick....keep doing what you're doing....you're a great mom & no one, not even this strngenough chick, can take that from you.




Quoting strngenough:

Why did you ever do that? Have him tell her? That's a therapy moment.

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Misha1204
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 11:59 AM

Not about punishing him or spite AT ALL. It's called taking responsibility. He's the adult, he should just be there for her. Not up to mom to explain someone else's actions. Plus, she's been the buffer this entire time....am I right?

Say what you will, I'm not responding to anymore replies that make no sense.

Quoting strngenough:

I get you were trying to punish him, but you only punished her. She won't forget this. She will always here her dad saying I don't love you. As a parent you are supposed to explain things to your kids in a way that they can understand and protect them. You don't throw them to the wolves to get revenge you want. Do you think he cares right now? Do you think he's like cant believe I did that? Nope. So all you did is have a child hear that daddy doesn't want me with no buffer. Attack me because you would do the same good for you, but your supposed to protect your children and explain the world to them because they don't understand. Not crush them for spite.


Quoting Misha1204:

She did the right thing. He's the one w/the problem. That's how he felt...ok, but what parent says that to an innocent child, let alone his own dd? Ky didn't need to hear this or a lie from her mother.
It's women like you that make it easy for men to be deadbeats. It's called taking responsibility. Why is it ok for Erin to take responsibility for her dd, but not him?

Erin, don't listen to this chick....keep doing what you're doing....you're a great mom & no one, not even this strngenough chick, can take that from you.




Quoting strngenough:

Why did you ever do that? Have him tell her? That's a therapy moment.


kitty8199
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 12:17 PM
Here bc doesn't matter and he pays even if he loses rights unless its a stepparent adoption he just doesn't get visits

Quoting nikkik526:

Here it is to. My ex has to pay child support for my youngest cuz a DNA test proved he is his. But because he refused to ever sign his birth cirtificate he has no rights to him.



But if he was on the birth cirtificate and paying child support and i got his rights taken away then, he wouldnt have to pay anymore if he didnt want to.




Quoting kitty8199:

That is all a matter of state. Here child support and rights are two separate courts.





Quoting nikkik526:

Well if you go for child support you cant strip him of his rights unless hes never been on the birth cortificate to begin with.







Quoting erinmomofone:

I am going for child support. I mean he doesn't deserve to have rights but I also think he needs to Pay. He made the baby too.










Quoting nikkik526:

Get his rights taken away.

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erinmomofone
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:11 PM
I protect her. This was the best thing for her. I did what I think was right for MY daughter. She's my daughter I think I know how to handle her. Thanks.


Quoting strngenough:

I get you were trying to punish him, but you only punished her. She won't forget this. She will always here her dad saying I don't love you. As a parent you are supposed to explain things to your kids in a way that they can understand and protect them. You don't throw them to the wolves to get revenge you want. Do you think he cares right now? Do you think he's like cant believe I did that? Nope. So all you did is have a child hear that daddy doesn't want me with no buffer. Attack me because you would do the same good for you, but your supposed to protect your children and explain the world to them because they don't understand. Not crush them for spite.




Quoting Misha1204:

She did the right thing. He's the one w/the problem. That's how he felt...ok, but what parent says that to an innocent child, let alone his own dd? Ky didn't need to hear this or a lie from her mother.
It's women like you that make it easy for men to be deadbeats. It's called taking responsibility. Why is it ok for Erin to take responsibility for her dd, but not him?

Erin, don't listen to this chick....keep doing what you're doing....you're a great mom & no one, not even this strngenough chick, can take that from you.






Quoting strngenough:

Why did you ever do that? Have him tell her? That's a therapy moment.


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Kenzie_2
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 3:27 PM

Awe I am so sorry!! Things like that have happened with my ex and I make him tell the kids.  Usually he ends up feeling way to guilty and doesn't want to say it to them, but wow I can't believe that he did that! I feel like that was the best way to handle it because than you aren't not the bad guy.

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