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Ex told me not to let my daughter to call. Update 11/14. Phone call.

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So need your help, my ex texted me and said that ky can not call him anymore. What should I do? I feel like I should allow her to call, she's his kid too. She wants to call him and I don't have the heart to say no to her.I am so mad he's so wrong! Any help would be great.

Update for 11/14
So I called my daughter's dad and he answered I told him that he needed to tell ky that he doesn't want her to call anymore if thatd truly how he felt. He said "fine I will" so I put it on speaker phone, and said here she is. He said "kyleigh daddy can't have you call anymore, goodbye" he hung up and she just burst in to tears. She is so hurt, Ugh what an ass. I want to hit him in the face. 

Please maybe I handled it wrong but please don't make me feel worse. Thank you.
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by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 11:14 AM
Replies (21-30):
erinmomofone
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 1:47 PM
I called the therapist and left a message earlier. I do everything with her. It's hard at bedtime, that's when she wants him.


Quoting MeeshMom:

While I agree with it being his responsibility I also disagree with why you're saying. She can't make him tell her any more than she could make him be a father. I think she should call the counselor and have a chat about what just happened to get some advice. I also think she shouldn't let her dd keep calling because the constant rejection could be traumatizing to her. Instead they should do mother daughter things to get her mind off her absent loser father.



Quoting Robsessed98:

Fuck that! Let her keep calling and make him be the one to tell her to stop and break her heart. That sure as hell isnt your job!





Quoting erinmomofone:

None!!!!








Quoting Robsessed98:

What reason did he give? I think its his job to tell her not to call, not yours.


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PaperClip811
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 1:58 PM

Then I'd let his phone keep ringing. I refuse to be the 'bad guy'. I might suggest to my child to stop calling because he never answers, but I'd never say they couldnt try. I feel for your daughter. 

Quoting erinmomofone:

I told him that he said no he won't, I need to do it. She lives with me do it's my job.


Quoting PaperClip811:

I tend to lean more towards what Anna is saying. Tell him if he wants the calls to stop he needs to answer the phone and tell her himself. Sounds cruel but she is going to be heartbroken either way.



Gah.. He's such a dick.


proudmother5946
by Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 2:05 PM
He's a coward. He's more than willing to let you shoulder the burden of breaking her heart. Why not? He's not the one there when she's upset and crying. She deserves so much better than him.
My DD is 13. She has to call her dad most of the time. He tried to say his phone can't call here(magicjack), that's bull. It calls here just fine. She's goes weeks without hearing from him.
Definitely talk to her counselor about this. She has the experience to help your little girl cope with this. Even before DD and I left her dad, she went through counseling. It really helped.



erinmomofone
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 2:30 PM
It's my life all over, I don't want to do it. I don't want to be my mom who broke my heart. I don't want to tell her you can't do that. She's 4 and she deserves to call him if she wants.


Quoting proudmother5946:

He's a coward. He's more than willing to let you shoulder the burden of breaking her heart. Why not? He's not the one there when she's upset and crying. She deserves so much better than him.

My DD is 13. She has to call her dad most of the time. He tried to say his phone can't call here(magicjack), that's bull. It calls here just fine. She's goes weeks without hearing from him.

Definitely talk to her counselor about this. She has the experience to help your little girl cope with this. Even before DD and I left her dad, she went through counseling. It really helped.








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erinmomofone
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 2:30 PM
I don't want to be the bad guy.


Quoting PaperClip811:

Then I'd let his phone keep ringing. I refuse to be the 'bad guy'. I might suggest to my child to stop calling because he never answers, but I'd never say they couldnt try. I feel for your daughter. 

Quoting erinmomofone:

I told him that he said no he won't, I need to do it. She lives with me do it's my job.





Quoting PaperClip811:

I tend to lean more towards what Anna is saying. Tell him if he wants the calls to stop he needs to answer the phone and tell her himself. Sounds cruel but she is going to be heartbroken either way.





Gah.. He's such a dick.




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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Nov. 13, 2012 at 2:41 PM
Let him tell her what an asshole
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erinmomofone
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 2:58 PM
He is an asshole. Karma is going to be a bitch for him. I am pissed so much at him. I never thought he would do this to our family. Better to find out while still dating then after we got married.


Quoting LifeCafe42:

Let him tell her what an asshole

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proudmother5946
by Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 2:59 PM
Honey, he's setting you up to be the "bad guy". It's not your fault. This is all on him. His actions, his decisions. All you can do is love her and protect her as best you can. The counseling will help you both cope with this situation. As she gets older she'll understand better.
She'll understand later that you are the one who has always been there for her. My DD does not blame me for her father's actions. In return I do not badmouth him to her,(really hard not to), because it won't help her.
You can't control his actions, only your's.
My son's paternal grandmother told me once,"husbands and boyfriends come and go, your child is your's forever".
erinmomofone
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 3:06 PM
I just don't want to be the bad guy. If he wants to tell her no then he can do it. I just hate seeing my daughter hurt and upset. I fear that when she is older shell hate me.


Quoting proudmother5946:

Honey, he's setting you up to be the "bad guy". It's not your fault. This is all on him. His actions, his decisions. All you can do is love her and protect her as best you can. The counseling will help you both cope with this situation. As she gets older she'll understand better.

She'll understand later that you are the one who has always been there for her. My DD does not blame me for her father's actions. In return I do not badmouth him to her,(really hard not to), because it won't help her.

You can't control his actions, only your's.

My son's paternal grandmother told me once,"husbands and boyfriends come and go, your child is your's forever".


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erinmomofone
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 4:12 PM
I am still steaming!
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