Hi, I am a 26 year old mother of two beautiful children six and three. Their father and I were never really in love, but got married and had them (because I wanted to) . After eight years of marriage it has become obvious to me that the lack of actual connected love is going to do us both in, so I told him I want a divorce. This however also being my decision, he could care less what it is gonna take to separate our lives and move on from each other. I have been a stay at home mom for the last six years, and now I need to figure out how to do both. My parents don't really support my decision, although I think they understand. They are firm believers in "laying in the bed you make for yourself" as am I.....but if I stay like this I feel like I am laying down to die. I don' t know how to separate myself from the stay at home mom I have been able to give my children and the self sufficient woman I need to figure out how to be. How I can I work to support myself if no one is there for my children? It's like my husband knows that I need him for the financial security, and that as long as I can't figure that out I am stuck....which unfortunately is true. Daycare is so expensive that I would be working only to pay someone else to do my job...and yet something has to give! I know there are woman who support themselves and their families, and it's not like I have never had to work. However I have not had to support myself, let alone two kids. I don't want to ask my husband for money to support me in a new life with out him, it doesn't seem fair, but I just can't seem to figure out how to juggle both. Has anyone had to figure this out, that doesn't have someone they know and trust offering any help? I feel so stuck, and like my only option is to give in and keep on going like this so my kids don't suffer at the cost of my wanting to be happier and more fulfilled, but my un- happiness is preventing me from giving them the best of myself anyhow, so no one is winning...and I am getting no where. Any advise? Any thoughts would be very helpfull!
on Nov. 13, 2012 at 1:18 PM