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Ex getting remarried....planning on how to tell 5 year old son

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Hi, I'm wondering if anyone can offer some feedback on this situation. So ex husband and I divorced when our son was only 2 months old; his understanding of divorce has been "I stay with mommy on so and so days and daddy on so and so days". Ex-husband recently shared news of his engagement with me and that he and his fiancee were planning on telling our son about their engagement that same day. I told him to hold off on sharing news of his engagement, given that our son doesn't even understand our divorce yet much less comprehending that his father is remarrying. 

Any tips on how to discuss divorce and remarriage to a 5 year old?

Many thanks in advance! 

by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 2:36 PM
Replies (11-15):
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 9:37 PM
Thats the dads job. If he asks, Id tell him that daddy and ___ love each other so much that they are going to be living in the same house and be together as much as possible. He doesnt need to actually understand the formalities at that age.
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by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 6:54 PM
1 mom liked this

It's the dad's job. My ex is getting married, and I'm not gonna drop that bomb on my kid. If he's lucky, his dad won't even bother telling him. He asked me if we would be willing to fly out there but I said "not even if you paid for everything. It doesn't concern me, and I'm not leaving my child there to witness you committing to someone else." If DS was a teenager, sure, but at 5? Fuck that. So dad can have a field day telling my kid that one if he ever does.

by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 11:38 PM

Thank you. :-) Your response is brutally honest and helpful!

by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 9:48 AM
1 mom liked this

His 5 yo so he understand I'm sure, my son who is also the same age, knows that his grandparents are married but that his father and I are not but that we were at one point, he understand the word divorced and marriage.Just sit down with him and your ex and try to explain it to him in a simply way, make sure to tell him that its not going to change the relationship each of you have with him, it just means there is going to be one more person in his life and hopefully his fiance will be a positive addition to your special family.

by Gold Member on Nov. 16, 2012 at 1:14 PM

I agree with this!

Quoting Stephd710:

Im sure he understands alot more than you give him credit for.  Waiting is only going to make it worse.  Since he was so young when you divorced, he probably has no memory of it.  Just let his dad tell him about the engagement and then field the questions as they come.  I really dont think it will be as bad as you think its gonna be. 

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