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Would you ever??

Posted by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 5:45 PM
  • 30 Replies

 

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Question: Would you do it?

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No everyone deserves a chance

Yes, less drama

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Total Votes: 26

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 A co-worker and I were talking last night about being single parents and how sometimes it's just easier that way. I was telling her about how I wanted another child (ds is 7; only child) but didn't want to deal with the possible drama that a man would bring, she suggested getting knocked up lol and just not telling the guy. I can see where she is coming from but at the same time I think it's wrong.

I've been a single mother since I had my ds at 16. He has been with me from day 1 unless he's with my mothr if I'm working or in school. All I know is being a single mother and if I got into a steady relationship and happened to get pregnant, I think I would be scared of sharing the baby because I have never done it before. Yes it is stressful being a single mother and having to cater your child's every need on your own BUT at the end of the day when I lay down I can say my child is safe beside me and I don't have to worry.

On the other hand though the guy may turn out to be the best father in the world very involved and everything and a great person in your child's life. At the same time though in my situation if a situation such as this were to occur, I'd have to think about my ds feelings. Here he is with no father around and yet a sibling gets the fatherly love they deserve. Wouldn't that be unfair? Idk just rambling.

Anyways, so the question I'm asking is: If you want(ed) more children, would you ever get pregnant and then hide it from the guy? and Would you become a single parent by choice?

by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 5:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
morethanamemory
by Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 8:10 PM
No I wouldn't get knocked up and not let the dad know. Although I don't plan to get preg again without being married....

As far as the sibling thing goes....if you stayed with the 2nd childs father hopefully he would treat you, your son, and the new addition with the same love and respect...if he wasn't and he wanted to be in the babies life I know it would be something hard to explain to your son....
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brieri
by Platinum Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 8:34 PM

 Had a convo with my mom a some time ago regarding the very thing.  Here's my thoughts, I want to be greedy, and selfish and keep the child for myself, we will have no toys in our house, we will cook, bake every day. Take walks around the city and visit many different places together.   I will want to take the child to swimming lessons and for gymnastics, so that in either case she will make it to the Olympics one day.  She will go to school and fair well and have plenty of friends to join.  Sure she'll know her father, but her father will be one of those that wants to take her on a weekend outting at his convenience (which probably isn't too much to ask for), and probably take me along as well, because my child will want both of her parents to be entirely happy.  It doesn't mean her daddy and mommy will live with each other, but it does give some exploration in other areas..  Yes, I want a daughter .  It will make up from the two I have been missing out from for the past umpteen years to a father who just doesn't understand what co-parenting means. 

ms-superwoman
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 8:49 PM

I would never get pregnant and not tell the guy. If you are ready for a child, go to a sperm bank.

SexyDiva19
by Alexis on Nov. 13, 2012 at 9:41 PM

 No offense but could you write this in English please? Why no toys? So you have sons right now? You've missed out on there lives? I am totally lost

Quoting brieri:

 Had a convo with my mom a some time ago regarding the very thing.  Here's my thoughts, I want to be greedy, and selfish and keep the child for myself, we will have no toys in our house, we will cook, bake every day. Take walks around the city and visit many different places together.   I will want to take the child to swimming lessons and for gymnastics, so that in either case she will make it to the Olympics one day.  She will go to school and fair well and have plenty of friends to join.  Sure she'll know her father, but her father will be one of those that wants to take her on a weekend outting at his convenience (which probably isn't too much to ask for), and probably take me along as well, because my child will want both of her parents to be entirely happy.  It doesn't mean her daddy and mommy will live with each other, but it does give some exploration in other areas..  Yes, I want a daughter .  It will make up from the two I have been missing out from for the past umpteen years to a father who just doesn't understand what co-parenting means. 

 

tyfry7496
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 9:56 PM
Her post is in English and understandable. Maybe she's in her phone.

Quoting SexyDiva19:

 No offense but could you write this in English please? Why no toys? So you have sons right now? You've missed out on there lives? I am totally lost


Quoting brieri:


 Had a convo with my mom a some time ago regarding the very thing.  Here's my thoughts, I want to be greedy, and selfish and keep the child for myself, we will have no toys in our house, we will cook, bake every day. Take walks around the city and visit many different places together.   I will want to take the child to swimming lessons and for gymnastics, so that in either case she will make it to the Olympics one day.  She will go to school and fair well and have plenty of friends to join.  Sure she'll know her father, but her father will be one of those that wants to take her on a weekend outting at his convenience (which probably isn't too much to ask for), and probably take me along as well, because my child will want both of her parents to be entirely happy.  It doesn't mean her daddy and mommy will live with each other, but it does give some exploration in other areas..  Yes, I want a daughter .  It will make up from the two I have been missing out from for the past umpteen years to a father who just doesn't understand what co-parenting means. 


 

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tyfry7496
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 9:57 PM
No I wouldn't get pregnant on purpose and not tell the guy. That's just wrong and whore-ish. Sorry.

Sperm bank would be different though.
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SexyDiva19
by Alexis on Nov. 13, 2012 at 10:00 PM
Maybe it is her phone. I didnt mean to sound harsh I just cant understand most of it.

Quoting tyfry7496:

Her post is in English and understandable. Maybe she's in her phone.



Quoting SexyDiva19:

 No offense but could you write this in English please? Why no toys? So you have sons right now? You've missed out on there lives? I am totally lost



Quoting brieri:



 Had a convo with my mom a some time ago regarding the very thing.  Here's my thoughts, I want to be greedy, and selfish and keep the child for myself, we will have no toys in our house, we will cook, bake every day. Take walks around the city and visit many different places together.   I will want to take the child to swimming lessons and for gymnastics, so that in either case she will make it to the Olympics one day.  She will go to school and fair well and have plenty of friends to join.  Sure she'll know her father, but her father will be one of those that wants to take her on a weekend outting at his convenience (which probably isn't too much to ask for), and probably take me along as well, because my child will want both of her parents to be entirely happy.  It doesn't mean her daddy and mommy will live with each other, but it does give some exploration in other areas..  Yes, I want a daughter .  It will make up from the two I have been missing out from for the past umpteen years to a father who just doesn't understand what co-parenting means. 



 

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cklamour
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 10:07 PM
I would rather be in a relationship than be a single parent. However, I understand what you are feeling. With my first her dad was around. Now with my four year old son, I have done this alone. I have thought IF I got pregnant right now that I'd just do it on my own. Thankfully for me, I've been celibate since July of 2011. So I have no worries about getting pregnant any time soon lol
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SexyDiva19
by Alexis on Nov. 13, 2012 at 10:18 PM

 Yea I did the whole celibacy thing. I've done it twice actually. Once for 3 years and then for 2 years. I have a fwb now though. How old is your daughter? How does your son feel when her dad comes around?

 

Quoting cklamour:

I would rather be in a relationship than be a single parent. However, I understand what you are feeling. With my first her dad was around. Now with my four year old son, I have done this alone. I have thought IF I got pregnant right now that I'd just do it on my own. Thankfully for me, I've been celibate since July of 2011. So I have no worries about getting pregnant any time soon lol

 

SexyDiva19
by Alexis on Nov. 13, 2012 at 10:21 PM

 I only think its whore-ish if a woman acts like one of the teens on Maury. You know the ones who want to have a baby so bad they are going around sleeping with every guy they see, having unprotected sex just to get knocked up?

 

Quoting tyfry7496:

No I wouldn't get pregnant on purpose and not tell the guy. That's just wrong and whore-ish. Sorry.

Sperm bank would be different though.

 

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