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I don't want him to come back.

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My ex bf and I had been split up for 2 weeks when I found out I was pregnant.  He immediately wanted me to get an abortion, but I just couldn't do it.  He yelled at me, called me a liar, told me I was a bad person for weeks, so I stopped talking to him.  One day he decided that he was sorry and he wanted to be a part of this child's life and I was happy.  I didn't need him to be with me, but I wanted my child to know his father.  A few weeks later he started yelling at me again and telling me I was going to make a terrible parent.  I couldn't do it anymore, so I moved from Ohio to Florida to move into my parent's house.  I felt I needed support and he had blocked my calls and if I tried to email him he would make threats of restraining orders and such.  I'm 32 weeks now and I am terrified that he is going to try to come after me once the baby is born.  I know that a lot of people would tell me to go for the child support, but I really don't want him in my life at all.  I don't want to get belittled and put down all the time for doing my best and what I think is right.  What do I do if he tries?

by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 11:24 PM
Replies (11-15):
Cpop1980
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:06 AM

I don't think you understand my situation.  I don't want to talk to him, I don't want his child support (I triple his salary on my own,) I just want us to be left alone and not contact me.  It would be him that took me to court and I assure you that he will not ever take my son away.

I'm sorry that your ex took your kids away from you, but surely there was a reason.  It's not common for the courts to take the kids away from their mother like that.

brieri
by Platinum Member on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:47 AM

 I assure you the court did not take my kids away from me. Yes, there is a reason for it all.  Yes, he's the one that took me to court all these years as well..  Only 1 time did I have to take him back and that was to reduce the child support and return the children back to my care.  But the judge wouldn't give them me, although I complied with everything the court wanted me to do.  Where I live it's 9/10th of the law and that's wrong.  He racked me up in 10s of thousands of dollars which I had to pay for that I didn't have.  The judge had then says I didn't get along with them, and that's totally untrue.  He wasnt letting me be a mother to our children.  He wanted his wife to be their mother.  So......

BTWS I totally understand your frustrations, I am just giving you advice and this is what happened to me and all I am doing is telling my story to anyone who wants to hear it.  whether I ever see them I again, I can't say.  I have taken steps to go above him, that he will never understand.  Because my children have said I abandon them and I DID NOT ABANDON them, I was where I was supposed to be at all times for visitation pick ups.  He did not bring them to me on those days. 

Whether you want or don't want c/s for your child you should think more clearly on that because it's not going to be for you.  It's for  your child who is going grow they don't stay little and live in carters clothes (allthough alot of moms want them to stay little).  Even I do.  I can only remember my babies til the age of 9 and they stopped growing.  I don't know them from that point on and its sad for me to think about at times.

mytrueloveS
by Lori on Nov. 16, 2012 at 1:28 AM

If he takes you to court, he will be granted visitation, even if you don't file for child support.  There is not much you can do.  Personally if I didn't want the father around, I wouldn't inform him or anyone close to him that the child is born, and hope that he forgets about it.  

victoriahearts
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 9:53 AM

You may not want child support from him or for him to be in your child life but the best thing is if you can get an attorney immediately and talk this out with him or her. The thing about not going to court and just leaving it as is, it puts you at risk of potentially having him come into your life making demands. Make it legal, get his parental rights signed away so that you never have worry about his again. Best of luck with your pregnancy and getting the father situation worked out.

sid1083
by Silver Member on Nov. 16, 2012 at 10:22 AM
Her story is very relevant. You may not want bd around after the child is born - that's your prerogative. But say there comes a day (and dont bother attacking on the hypothetical here - its just to get the wheels moving) that you put his name on the birth certificate...dude comes down for a couple hour visit and you oblige.

Heck, what's wrong with a couple hours you think (especially if you're there)? You're there the whole time but leave for just 2 min to use the restroom. Dude up and leaves with the child. And there's your relevance...

But good luck with whatever you decide.


Quoting Cpop1980:

I don't think you understand my situation.  I don't want to talk to him, I don't want his child support (I triple his salary on my own,) I just want us to be left alone and not contact me.  It would be him that took me to court and I assure you that he will not ever take my son away.

I'm sorry that your ex took your kids away from you, but surely there was a reason.  It's not common for the courts to take the kids away from their mother like that.

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