Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

We just 'bumped into' my sons sperm donor :/ I need advice guys!!

We were standing outside dd and all of a sudden my sis is saying hi to someone so I turn around and it's his gf, she pulls up and jumps out and gets their baby (my sons 1/2 brother, we hadn't met him yet but saw her while she was pregnant) and lets us meet him and my sons all excited but says to my ex 'you're not my dad anymore!! I don't see you!!' and he says yeah I guess I deserve that...umm yeah since last time he saw you was a year ago when we bumped into you and you haven't been there in 4 years so nope, not a 'dad'. So me and his gf chat for awhile while my sons playing w their baby and she let's me know he didn't want her to stop. They live an hour away but just moved 1/2 mile down the street. My ex says yes he's gonna be there, blah blah they invite him over today. They say he can come visit when I need a break or whatever but I'm so scared he's gonna get hurt again :( he said the same ish last year but never started coming around. Idk what to do cuz I'm not gonna be the one to keep him away but I need to protect my baby! Oh and he tells his gf 'he is well taken care of and always has been, she does do a good job doing it all by herself and always has' umm I wanted to PUNCH him and what does he think?? My baby's gonna suffer bc of his stupid actions?? I'm gonna dress him in rags bc he doesn't pay?? Ughh
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 12:14 PM
Replies (11-14):
Shy_Dia
by Silver Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:13 AM
1 mom liked this

thats hard. honestly, i'd kinda forget about him.... but keep the lines of communication open with her! she sounds like a good person- just stuck with a crappy ass partner! either way, if soemthing happens between the two of them, i bet she'd end up with the half brother fulltime, so you and her can meet up, with the kids so they will always have that bond.

steviechick
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:27 AM

Well, my ex is nothing but a sperm donor to me.  He has screwed up so many things in his life.  He destroyed our marriage by cheating on me and fathering two more kids in the process.  He was a lousy provider and husband.  And, truthfully he's been a lousy father to our DD.  What father would cheat on the mother of his own child for three years, leave his wife to pay for everything, have the car he gave his own DD repossessed, never helped pay for the horse he bought our DD, embezzle money from his wife while he moved in with the bimbo he was cheating on behind his wife's back, sneak furniture out of the house and give to the mistress?  My ex is a real winner! 

Don't make any more effort towards your ex.  Let him make the next move.  He's a father first and utmost.  Have him actually act like one.  Perhaps the new gf can help out?  She seems like a decent individual.  It's really up to your ex to persue a relationship with your son.  I hope for your son's sake your ex decides to be a decent father.

kristiansmommy1
by Bronze Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 5:10 AM
I agree, she does seem like a good person I honestly don't know why she's with him. He's not so nice to her but I've been in her shoes and she doesn't wanna raise another baby by herself. I am just gonna forget about him but keep talking to her, I think I'll just keep the visits to see her son while my ex is at work since I do want the boys to know each other and she already told me I'm welcome to do that and that he wouldn't 'let her' come visit us. I know she has tried, last year when we ran into each other they were fighting in the mall bc he wouldn't say hi (we could hear them from where we were) and she said screw him and followed us to the parking lot and he eventually did too. its just sucky all around :( thanks for the advice :)


Quoting Shy_Dia:

thats hard. honestly, i'd kinda forget about him.... but keep the lines of communication open with her! she sounds like a good person- just stuck with a crappy ass partner! either way, if soemthing happens between the two of them, i bet she'd end up with the half brother fulltime, so you and her can meet up, with the kids so they will always have that bond.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kristiansmommy1
by Bronze Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 5:23 AM
Oh my, he sounds like a real piece of work! I'm sorry :( I don't know why some guys are like that! Especially to have your daughters car repossessed and take money from her mom that was obviously helping raise your dd too!! And sneak your furniture to boot?? Idek what I would've done in that situation. Im sorry hes such an ass. I guess some boys just aren't meant to be fathers. My exs gf does try to get him to be there and has for 2 years. She figured once she had their son and we decided we wanted them to know each other that he'd decide to come around too but he never did. She seems to think its bc he feels guilty and seeing me and my son reminds him too much of his past (he was abusive, physically and mentally but she says he's not towards her) but I never brought it up, I never fight with him, never keep him away although I do ask for the visits to be somewhere public at first or w me or his gf bc of his past. My sons birthday was Monday and no call or stop by so I'm 99.99% sure he's still never gonna change :( I just hope we don't bump into him anymore. Thanks for the advice :)


Quoting steviechick:

Well, my ex is nothing but a sperm donor to me.  He has screwed up so many things in his life.  He destroyed our marriage by cheating on me and fathering two more kids in the process.  He was a lousy provider and husband.  And, truthfully he's been a lousy father to our DD.  What father would cheat on the mother of his own child for three years, leave his wife to pay for everything, have the car he gave his own DD repossessed, never helped pay for the horse he bought our DD, embezzle money from his wife while he moved in with the bimbo he was cheating on behind his wife's back, sneak furniture out of the house and give to the mistress?  My ex is a real winner! 


Don't make any more effort towards your ex.  Let him make the next move.  He's a father first and utmost.  Have him actually act like one.  Perhaps the new gf can help out?  She seems like a decent individual.  It's really up to your ex to persue a relationship with your son.  I hope for your son's sake your ex decides to be a decent father.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN