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Single Moms Single Moms

single kid = spoil

Posted by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 10:47 PM
  • 11 Replies

To make a long story short i dont have many mom friends. And the few that i do have, i like to keep, but they all have more then one kid . Some have four some have five, I on the other hand just have one and dont want to have another one. 

Some back story on me: I just took a six month medical leave because of my daughter relasping.

My DD is 7, and is fighting cancer. And I just lost a suddenly, he was only 33. So the lost of my brother and watching my mom go through the emotions is hard. This made me realize how short life is and how things are taken for granted. 

So every friday, I like to take her to  movies, dinner, nails or  a trip to target to pick out something cheap.All depending on how much I have to spend

My friend is a single mother of four and can't afford to do the same for her kids or chooses not to. We always see things different. 

We where having a discussion on how much we spend on our kids, she spent a total of $600 on all her kids. I told her that I spent just as much on my daughter, probably even more, I started since September. But my  most of my gifts are big ticket items: a Wii U, a laptop, and some games and cases to go along with it. All of these are stuff that I put a lot of thought into. Mostly because she is sick some days she cant go out so she play on her Wii or she simple wants to spend hours talking to her cousins on skype.

This lead her to say, that my kid is spoil. I was shock.. Now my kid isn't a "bratt" she doesn't scream or yell or anything like that she is probably the politest girl that you come across.


I told her that my kid is not spoil she is a single child and I only have one kid to buy for, Not several. I left it like that and haven't talk to her for over a week.

Am I wrong?

by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 10:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:08 PM
3 moms liked this
It's hard not to spoil a child fighting cancer.
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amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:22 PM
2 moms liked this

Just because you can afford to treat your daughter doesn't mean she's spoiled, I think spoiled is more a way of acting.... if she's a diva always demanding and being given into, that's more spoiled than what you're doing.

It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into the gifts you've chosen for your daughter.  Things that will not only make her happy but keep her occupied when she's home sick.

I hope she wins her fight and I'm very sorry for the loss of your brother.

soaringflutes
by Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:19 AM
2 moms liked this

I don't consider a child who has material goods "spoiled."  To me, a child is spoiled if their mom or dad give in to them all of the time and don't set limits with them.  It sounds like you are doing awesome!

MsLogansMommy
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:28 AM
1 mom liked this

my opinion is the word spoiled has different meanings to different people my dad always jokes with my dd he will say in a little kid voice like he is immitating her "don't spoil me grandma" and then my dd will laugh at him and then turn to my mom and say spoil me grandma. this little routine happens everytime they come to visit since they usually bring her something.

I think theres a lot of different factors here first of all I would tell who ever wants to know that I raise my child my way and you raise your child yours im not saying my way is better or yours is im saying this is what works for us im not going to judge you and I would appreciate it if you didnt judge me. Now that is just for an average situation but yours isnt average your child has Cancer for God's sake. How dare anyone tell you not to give her gifts and take her places and enjoy your time together what the hell kind of friend is that. My nephew had cancer as a child he is now cancer free married and an awesome 26 year old man. Cancer is horrible to anyone but for a child to have to experience that is the saddest thing I can think of just so unfair and heartbreaking. Your friend is a heartless bitch! Sorry to be so blunt but im remembering what my sweet little nephew went through with radiation and chemotherapy and losing his hair and vomiting and fuck that shit you spoil the hell out of your little girl and tell your "friend" she needs to mind her business and stay out of yours

RoseBud93
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 7:01 AM

If my daughter had cancer, I would probably spoil her as well. 

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LilAsMom526
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 7:08 AM
Your daughter is not spoiled. You're a very thoughtful & sweet mother. And your daughter has cancer spoil her to pieces! She deserves it. Jeez nothing wrong with spoiling a kid. I mean I am a single mother. when my son is good and we are out I like to buy him things. It's not everyday but nothing wrong with it. Yes there are kids who are truly spoiled that's on the parents.
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strngenough
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 7:28 AM
I really only want one kid, so I can give him everything. I liked an expensive preschool and like to go on trips. My husband (just got back together) has four with his ex wife. Those kids don't get to do a lot. If you put one in lessons you have to put them all etc. It's all really a give an take. Having one kid, yeah he is going to get a car when he turns 16 and it will probably be a nice one. If I had four? No I couldn't provide that. It's just life.
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tyfry7496
by Janet on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:04 AM
I have one child and he's far from spoiled but he does get big things. It's much easier to get nice things when you only have one. And if he had cancer, I'd get him even more.

Keep doing what you are.
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Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:23 AM
I don't spoil my boys, their needs and wants always come before mine.
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victoriahearts
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:40 AM

I don't think your spoiling your child, I think my definition of that is a child that is not grateful of what she or he has or is given and doesn't understand the difference between want and need. Your child obviously is grateful, polite and so on, you can afford to do so and sometimes it's hard for other people to see parent given so much to a child or children when they can not do the same.  I  would say try to see it from her side and if you think you can move pass it and continue a friendship do so but if you can't then it's a shame she can't get over it but it's best to move on from people that judge too quickly.

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