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Her face makes me cry... -anyone else deal with this?

Posted by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:54 AM
  • 17 Replies

My daughter looks more like her daddy in my opinion. and earlier she would NOT go to sleep and just wanted to suck her pacifire and lay in mylap staring at my face... she had the same expression on her face her dad always used to give me and since she has his features I couldn't even look at her without crying. Normally I let her sleep with me but now I am upset and can't sleep and had to put her in the bassinet. 
Luckily I am not getting overly depressed seeing as I was already diagnosed with postpartum depression and had been in the E.R. for it. but this is making me wonder if she will always make me cry like this... or is it just because of my depression and anxiety mixed with hormones?

I am obviously not over him, so please no "just forget him" advice because it really is no help at all. 

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by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:54 AM
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Replies (1-10):
RoseBud93
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 7:07 AM

no one?

JakesMom712
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 7:11 AM
It'll pass. My ds has started doing some of his fathers expressions, I just ignore them now, but before it was hard cause he looks soooo much like him.
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strngenough
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 7:24 AM
It's going to have to be a mental thing with you where you seperate the two. I reminded my mom of my dad my whole life. I got punished mommy dearest style for it. Postpartum depression and all. Thank you for giving me a perspective on it, but I really think its going to be in how you think about it. Don't try to look for him in her. Try to only see her.
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RoseBud93
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 7:36 AM

Yeah, I reminded my mom of my dad as well.. I understand the being punished for it. Not fun.
but I am trying to mentally handle it, it's just hard since it's still so new I suppose. Normally I do see her as just my little Reiny puff but tonight she made that face at it struck a nerve, HARD. so I cuddled her and just avoided looking at her too much. only way I could think of showing I wasnt upset with her and loved her while not upsetting myself or having to make her go away from me.
but after she fell asleep I put her in her bassinet because my mind is racing and I didnt want to just lay silently anymore. 

Quoting strngenough:

It's going to have to be a mental thing with you where you seperate the two. I reminded my mom of my dad my whole life. I got punished mommy dearest style for it. Postpartum depression and all. Thank you for giving me a perspective on it, but I really think its going to be in how you think about it. Don't try to look for him in her. Try to only see her.


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strngenough
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 7:46 AM
Im glad you recognize it. That helps a lot. Not the same situation, but the same solution....my husband decided he wants to get back together. There's a lot of hurt there, but I want my family together. So working on the advice I gave you. I get sensitive to tones, phrases, and expressions, because of what they used to mean. I'm trying very hard to logically and mentally react different. To forget everything. It seems like climbing a mountain with only one shoe, but if I train my mind to react better I know it will get better. Your already better than my mom, because you recognize it and love your daughter enough to want to get over it. My mom just loved to wallow in pity.


Quoting RoseBud93:

Yeah, I reminded my mom of my dad as well.. I understand the being punished for it. Not fun.
but I am trying to mentally handle it, it's just hard since it's still so new I suppose. Normally I do see her as just my little Reiny puff but tonight she made that face at it struck a nerve, HARD. so I cuddled her and just avoided looking at her too much. only way I could think of showing I wasnt upset with her and loved her while not upsetting myself or having to make her go away from me.
but after she fell asleep I put her in her bassinet because my mind is racing and I didnt want to just lay silently anymore. 

Quoting strngenough:

It's going to have to be a mental thing with you where you seperate the two. I reminded my mom of my dad my whole life. I got punished mommy dearest style for it. Postpartum depression and all. Thank you for giving me a perspective on it, but I really think its going to be in how you think about it. Don't try to look for him in her. Try to only see her.



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AprilH06
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:14 AM
1 mom liked this

Its totally normal to feel that emotion, she is a product of your love, and that's hard to accept. When you see her, and feel that way, remind yourself that she is a combination of the best of both of you and that isn't sad, it's beautiful. Try to imagine that even though your relationship was hard/bad/sad, you gave each other a perfect gift and that makes up for all the other bad feelings.

steviechick
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:13 AM

I actually thank God that my DD looks like me.  She doesn't look anything like my ex.  I know I could handle it but it would be hard to look into her face and not see my ex.  He hurt me so bad I have barely any kind words to say about him.  I gave him the best years of my life and he betrayed me beyond belief.  I'm actually glad that I didn't have a son that looked like him.  It would be even harder to look into his face and not see my ex looking back at me. I have a great gift of my DD.  She is the one thing that me and my did right together.

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:18 AM
Everything takes time, it will pass *hugs*
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victoriahearts
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:07 PM

I think every woman goes throught this when they are in the situation you are, I still look at my son and remember all the great times I had with his father, but it comes easier to just simply remember without all the bad emotions coming back. It will pass but it will take time and you know what it's ok to cry, it will release that need to do so, but just remember to perk yourself up afterwards, don't live in that moment too long, if you need to remember the goods times to get over then do so. Just because that chapter in your life with your ex has closed doesn't mean all of it has to be remembered with bad emotion you can be thankful for the good times and especially for your daughter. Trust me I found myself crying a lot after my ex left, it was very good for my soul but after I did I would tell myself that I had to move on and quickly found something to preoccupy my mind.

brieri
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:49 PM

 It's very hard. It's what you eat, so her features may change a bit over the years.

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