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More drama from s2bx *UPDATE*

Posted by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 9:04 AM
  • 14 Replies
So he is still I rehab & called a friend of ours to find out when the girls & I were going to come visit. He the proceeded to blame me because he can't see them.

I have a PPO, but there is a no contact court order about the kids. For some reason he can't or won't believe that I couldn't bring them to see him even if I wanted to. DD1 is still so ticked at him she.doesn't want to see him & DD2 just understands that dad doesn't live with us any more.

How do I make him understand that it's his own fault he can't see the girls, when he won't even take responsibility for his own actions & I can't & won't contact him?

UPDATE: His rehab consuler called Monday. He had to talk to me to find out what was going on & wanting to know if there was a chance for reconciliation. The guy cheated on me & pulled a knife on one of our girls (hadn't even been told that). Figure it out for yourself pal. S2bx is being sent for a mental eval this week. Bet they decide that he has depression & ptsd. Still divorcing him because I can't trust him anymore.
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by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 9:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
steviechick
by Gold Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:08 AM

I would send him a letter outlining what he's doing to his own children.  You can only do so much when someone can't figure out the mistakes they have made and come to a conclusion that they did the damage.  I would also try and contact your stbx's drug counselor and see if he/she can help you reach out to the stbx.  Since he is in rehab he is meeting on a regular basis with a mental professional. 

I divorced my ex for reasons of cheating but he also is mentally ill.  I had no idea he was this disturbed until he told me of his three year affair.  Kind of hard to deal with the ex now that he's remarried.  I only had six days to respond to him finally coming clean about a three year affair and fathering two kids in the process before he was deployed to Kuwait.  I have soon learned that my ex is a sociopath and suffers from split personality disorder.

brieri
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 11:54 AM

don't have any advice.

Ali5683
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 5:25 PM

It took me forever to figure out what sb2x stood for. I hate acronyms. lol

He's in rehab and if he's genuinely doing the work then he'll learn soon enough what he did and how it's affecting you. They typically have a family day where you can go in and speak to him about your side and feelings without judgement, criticism, etc. Have you thought about going to alanon? It's for family members of those who have dealt with loved ones who are addicts. Try this site: http://al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings.

Right now, I would suggest sitting down and writing him a letter. Do it when you're alone and can have some time to put some real thought into it. Whether you send it to him or not, just getting all of your feelings out will help. :)


♥ Ali5683
SCENTSY :: aliciaivie.scentsy.us
FINDING ALICIA :: www.findingalicia.com

strngenough
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 5:49 PM
He's an addict. You have to realize the foundation of his exsistance is how the world and his actions are not his fault. You don't explain anything. It's time for him to fix himself and you to start your life.
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BeachMommy07
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:20 PM

 What is a PPO?

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 9:03 PM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't bother explaining. He will never admit any blame because nothing will ever be his fault. That would mean taking responsibility for his actions.
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faerie75
by Ruby Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 9:04 PM
Personal protection order

Quoting BeachMommy07:

 What is a PPO?

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BeachMommy07
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 5:58 PM

 In Pennsylvania they are called PFA I was confused

Quoting faerie75:

Personal protection order

Quoting BeachMommy07:

 What is a PPO?

 


Robsessed98
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:23 PM
Write a letter explaining that its not gonna happen and to leave you alone. Send a copy of the POs to refresh his memory. Its not up to you to make him understand its his fault. Hes a big boy now. Thats what rehab is for. He will/should learn how to take responsibility for his actions and how to atone for them.
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faerie75
by Ruby Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:37 PM
Here they are called an RO (restraining order)

Quoting BeachMommy07:

 In Pennsylvania they are called PFA I was confused


Quoting faerie75:

Personal protection order


Quoting BeachMommy07:


 What is a PPO?


 

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