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Why am I such an idiot?

Posted by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:17 PM
  • 19 Replies

Why did I take him back? What did I think would be different? Why is the desire to have my son have a father around all the time so important? Why am I so afraid of having to start over and date again? Seriously, I think I have honestly and truly lost all self-respect. The worst part is that he acts like everything is great. I can't remember a single day when everything was great. I mean there are good days ie: days where he isn't being nasty to me or throwing a tantrum and so I can relax on that day, but that doesn't make a great day. I wish my son was here already instead of being pregnant, I wish that I found a great job, I wish that I still had some damn self-respect like I did before I met my lovely husband. I wish in the very beginning when all these future nightmares were starting and his personality was shinning through and I tried to leave and he would tell me he would kill himself if I did....I would have just handed him my gun, said "have fun" and left. Long before marriage, long before pregnancy, long before I stopped recognizing myself. Manipulators....its just what they do.

by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
rvb146
by Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:20 PM
2 moms liked this
You need to leave him. Everyone makes mistakes but know that you realize who he really is, its time to take that red flag and run with it.

Babies copy parents. Happy mom-happy baby. Angry parents-angry baby.

Teach your child now that you know what you deserve and you demand respect.
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strngenough
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 10:26 PM
Eh wish I believed I deserved respect. Seriously, parents set the tone. I was never loved by them. They told me as much, continued with friends who betrayed, obviously bad relationships go hand in hand with it. 29 years and I don't think I've ever had good love. Just at the point where I honestly believe I never will.


Quoting rvb146:

You need to leave him. Everyone makes mistakes but know that you realize who he really is, its time to take that red flag and run with it.



Babies copy parents. Happy mom-happy baby. Angry parents-angry baby.



Teach your child now that you know what you deserve and you demand respect.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
rvb146
by Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 11:09 PM
You have to change the way you think. Your parents taught you to think this way. You will teach you child to think the way you do. I think you deserve respect.


Quoting strngenough:

Eh wish I believed I deserved respect. Seriously, parents set the tone. I was never loved by them. They told me as much, continued with friends who betrayed, obviously bad relationships go hand in hand with it. 29 years and I don't think I've ever had good love. Just at the point where I honestly believe I never will.




Quoting rvb146:

You need to leave him. Everyone makes mistakes but know that you realize who he really is, its time to take that red flag and run with it.





Babies copy parents. Happy mom-happy baby. Angry parents-angry baby.





Teach your child now that you know what you deserve and you demand respect.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
strngenough
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 11:16 PM
Thank you.


Quoting rvb146:

You have to change the way you think. Your parents taught you to think this way. You will teach you child to think the way you do. I think you deserve respect.




Quoting strngenough:

Eh wish I believed I deserved respect. Seriously, parents set the tone. I was never loved by them. They told me as much, continued with friends who betrayed, obviously bad relationships go hand in hand with it. 29 years and I don't think I've ever had good love. Just at the point where I honestly believe I never will.






Quoting rvb146:

You need to leave him. Everyone makes mistakes but know that you realize who he really is, its time to take that red flag and run with it.







Babies copy parents. Happy mom-happy baby. Angry parents-angry baby.







Teach your child now that you know what you deserve and you demand respect.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 11:42 PM
The only person you can truly blame at this point is you. You have to decide how you will let him treat you. Put your big girl britches on and make him leave. The situation you're in is no life for a newborn or you.
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MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 1:17 AM
For your child's sake it will be healthier to be only with you and not so much with his father if he is emotionally abusive. Get yourself counseling. I did it alone and still going strong. It's never easy. Seek help and positive support or else you'll drag that kid under with you in that bad place. Don't give in or give up.
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ShannyLouisiany
by Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 1:22 AM
2 moms liked this
you think it's easier than making it on your own. in some ways, it is. but you really know better. imagine a life without this stress and fear and sadness. it's hard, i admit. but so very worth it. trust yourself and know that you're worth more. once you realize you're better than what he has to offer, you'll be surprised at what you can accomplish. give yourself a chance. fuck him.
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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Nov. 24, 2012 at 9:08 AM
You need to get out and change your way of thinking. Get some counseling it's not just for you but for your child too
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victoriahearts
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 10:20 AM

Stop believing your don't deserve it, I know it's hard but you must get out of that mentality, seek out help. It will be better for you and your child , if you did so now before he arrived.

stillstandin246
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 11:15 AM
The most important thing right now is getting away from him, if not for u then for your child. Everyone deserves to be happy. Seek counseling asap. U know your worth it and u cannot bring this baby into a life of abuse and chaos. It will only get worse. Change your self talk. Or at least fake it til u make it. Just get out.
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