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How do you move on??

Posted by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 9:45 AM
  • 22 Replies

Hi everyone, my name is Chrissy and I am 33 years old and have a 5 year old daughter.  My husband of 10 years decided about a month ago that he doesnt love me anymore, and that we have nothing in common.  He moved out and is staying at his dads house about 30 min away.  He says he wants "try" and work on us, but in the last month, he has done nothing.  I am having an extremely hard time coming to the realization that I have to move on.  I keep asking my self why would I want to be with someone that doesnt want to be with me....  for some reason, I would still work it out.  How do you girls do it?  Moving on?  Dating? Money?

by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 9:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
a06z08mama
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 9:56 AM
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Family support. I have an aunt that is like a mother to me. She has held me up when I fell. Money. I am still struggling myself. But I have plans to pay off hopefully all of my debt with my tax return.

Dating? I am dating my current boyfriend even while I was still technically married to the ex. He is my best friend. He has been thru a nasty divorce himself so he was a great deal of help with that. He even told me that if he hadn't been thru himself that he was just a regular guy I was dating he would have just said suck it up (meaning he knows what divorce intells and how emotional tolling it can be). He has been great. He has met my kids. They adore him. Like I've told him if he didn't want to be around them he would have left a long time ago.

Just take your time. Focus on rebuilding your life. And focus on you baby girl! Good luck! Pm if you wanna chat!
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victoriahearts
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 9:59 AM
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Moving on takes so much time and you probably wont be able to until months after the official divorce, I think what you need to do now is just, keep telling yourself that you need to take care of your child, that means speaking with a lawyer if you can afford it, gets your thought straight on how you want to stare custody with your ex.

Getting over the breakup of your marriage is going to be hard, it took a long time for me, but just try your best to keep your child at the top of list and focus on her until things start to feel better for you.

erinmomofone
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 10:03 AM
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It's hard to move on after years with being someone. I focus on my daughter who's father left and wants no part of her life. I also focus on my relationships with my friends. I am lucky to have 4 great friends that are there for me.
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MIMIBRIE
by Jayme on Nov. 24, 2012 at 10:04 AM
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You had a love that grew over 10 years and a child, feelings will not go away over night. It takes time. People grieve over things in different ways and different time spans. You realize that you deserve better and you go out and get it. Use your daughter as motivation. Be brave. Remember it's ok to cry , yell, scream or hit a wall ;)
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chrissy022728
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 10:23 AM

Thanks girls.. I have never been alone (went from my parents house, to college, to married) and that and the unknown terrifies me.  I still break down at least once a day... and when I do, I get mad at myself.  Why am I crying over someone that doesnt care?  My daughter and I will probably move back in with my parents (never thought I would be doing that at 33)... I feel so bad for her.  she will be going to a new school, with new kids, and no friends.  

erinmomofone
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 10:53 AM
I was in a relationship with my ex 5 1/2 years you cry because life is different. I cry all the time and it's been almost 5 months. It's hard. I am sure shell make new friends! Good luck and if you need an listening ear you can message me anything.


Quoting chrissy022728:

Thanks girls.. I have never been alone (went from my parents house, to college, to married) and that and the unknown terrifies me.  I still break down at least once a day... and when I do, I get mad at myself.  Why am I crying over someone that doesnt care?  My daughter and I will probably move back in with my parents (never thought I would be doing that at 33)... I feel so bad for her.  she will be going to a new school, with new kids, and no friends.  


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chrissy022728
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 11:25 AM

Can I ask where you guys live?  On Facebook?

MIMIBRIE
by Jayme on Nov. 24, 2012 at 11:58 AM
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I'm in Texas :) wau?
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Otterpuff
by Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 2:03 PM
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Im still trying to figure it out. I recently moved back in with my parents also. Emotionally, Im still fragile and I think I will be for awhile. Do your best to focus on your lo :) Its okay to cry also! I know I have many times!

Oh and I'm in SoCal.

chrissy022728
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 2:39 PM

I am in Northern Illinois.  My parents, family, and (so far) all my friends are still married and happy.  I have all their support, but it is hard for them to understand how I am feeling.  He just came and picked up my daughter for the afternoon.  The second the door closed, I lost it.  This really sucks. Any of you guys on FB?

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