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i cannot stand the lonliness

Posted by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 9:07 AM
  • 16 Replies

this is the worst part about my separation. my kids went way friday night, and i was a bit lonely but i had a friend over and we just hung out and watched some movies. went to bed and i slept great. picked up my kids saturday and had an ok day. saturday evening and sunday were bad days. i spent a good portion of my time in my room crying.

i'm happy with my decision, but the lonliness is truly killing me. i can't stand it!

by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 9:07 AM
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by Gold Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 11:41 AM

I hear ya, but you'll have to find things to cope.  Get things done, try to enjoy your time without the kids, find a hobby, go out,etc.  It takes time - it's an adjustment.  You'll get there - hugs.

by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:29 PM
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I was where you are now just over a year ago.  It's not easy being alone after a seperation.  Just give yourself time to grieve.  Getting a divorce is like dealing with death.  You no longer will be in this person's life like you normally would.  Allow yourself to feel bad.  Don't start something unless you are ready to do so.  When you start to feel better look into what you like to do on your own.  Perhaps pick- up a hobby of interest.  Visit your local church to see what's going on in a single group.  Call friends and see if they want to hang out.  Just go slow and go at your own pace.  Time heals all wounds.

by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 7:30 PM

 Hi and welcome to the group.

It's gotta be the time of year.  Find something you enjoy doing and do it.

by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 7:33 PM
It will pass
Its not easy when its that time of year too
Habits of what use to be, became the norm so when you have to rearrange and fill those gaps with something else, thats when you feel it the most
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by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 8:29 PM

I'm with ya. Just keep telling myself it will end someday.

by Gold Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 8:41 PM
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I have times that I can't stand being alone, but other times I love it.

by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 9:58 PM

how long were you in a relationship? It will get better. And the loneliness will have you thinking that you need to be with someone to cure the loneliness. It will get better. Now, doesn't mean you won't have lonely periods; but you will become content to where it won't hurt so bad...

by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 10:09 PM

i know how you feel. Some days are hrader then others. And the some days iam okay and it dosent hurt as much.  I try to get my self busy. like work or i clean, Hangout with friends and family, or i go to the gym. etc. time will heal all.It is just like loseing someone that die cause that person is no longer a part of your life. enither is thier family. Try to look at it was you close the door on one part of your life and when you are righting another door will open for you that you thought was not posssible. You are about to start a new chapher of your life. You can do it just hang in there !!!!

by Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 11:19 PM
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It was hard for me too when the house was empty and my kids were with their dad. Especially Sundays, because Friday nights were fun, Saturdays were chores, and Subday was just emptiness.

I started trying to schedule my weekend and keep myself busy while the kids were away. I would rent a bunch of movies, fold a mountain of laundry, or go shopping all day. Always play music... Somehow life is the lonliest when everything is quiet.

Now I have my kids 24/7 and I find myself wishing for a weekend of quiet just so I could get some projects finished!
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by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 10:28 AM
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thanks ladies!

it's only been a month since we've separated. we were together for 14 years!

i'm fine most days, but so far sunday seems to be the hardest day. the house is clean, there really is nothing left to do at home. i guess i could try going out to a movie or something on that day.

i know it will pass, and i remind myself that this was the best choice for my family, but it is still tough. and i do think that the holiday made it a bit tougher.

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