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anyone else in a similar situation?? am i being a *B*??

Posted by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:30 PM
  • 23 Replies

i have a three year old who has never met his father. he's out of the picture totally and ive come to grips with that. I have been in an on and off relationship with this man for the past 2 yrs! When we're on (which is most of the time) he is a great father to my son! My son knows he's not "dad" as he calls him by his name but he does view him as daddy.. which i think is natural - he does play that role. anyhow we broke up about two months ago and he hasnt seen my son or bothered to see him... i am pregnant currently with his child though - due next month and he's now all of a sudden gone from i dont want the baby, the baby isn't coming not real to he's going to take her every other weekend.... he's sasid nothing about my son! it breaks my heart that my son is going to have to watch his sister go to spend time with her dad... who played dad to him first! and be left out in the cold...

 

i really don't want him to spend time with her - not if he's not going to include my son too.. this is probably immature of me??.... how am i supposed to feel? how do i shield my child from this hurt?

by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kitty8199
by Silver Member on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:32 PM
1 mom liked this
Get a court order for the little one before any visits allowed. Try to talk to him about including your son.
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faerie75
by Ruby Member on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:35 PM
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Yes you are wrong and if e takes you to court, you will lose. I do feel for your other child though.
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raeann1984
by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:37 PM


Quoting faerie75:

Yes you are wrong and if e takes you to court, you will lose. I do feel for your other child though.

what do you mean if he takes me to court i will lose? lose what?

erinmomofone
by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:42 PM
Well really it's not his child, however I do feel for your child. Just let you son know you love him and it's him and your time when his sister goes away.
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mz23
by Bronze Member on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:42 PM

id try and talk to him about. id feelbworried aand upset if it was my childbtoo. i think the former postbwas talking about custody.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:42 PM
If he follows up, he will get visits. I guess "lose" is not the right terminology but you wil not e able to prevent his getting rights based on him not visiting with your other child.

Quoting raeann1984:



Quoting faerie75:

Yes you are wrong and if e takes you to court, you will lose. I do feel for your other child though.

what do you mean if he takes me to court i will lose? lose what?

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faerie75
by Ruby Member on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:46 PM

 i want to add. idk how to shield your other child from the hurt. i do feel for him :( how long ago did you break up? is there any hope of becomng civil at some point? if things become civil, maybe he will want to spend some time with your son at some point.

my SO raised a step son and had three kids with his ex. when they split, they did not get along at all and his ex would not let him see his former step son, even though my SO was willing to. now that they are somewhat civil and the drama has died down, she does allow her son to come to our house sometimes.

raeann1984
by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:46 PM


Quoting faerie75:

If he follows up, he will get visits. I guess "lose" is not the right terminology but you wil not e able to prevent his getting rights based on him not visiting with your other child.

Quoting raeann1984:

 


Quoting faerie75:

Yes you are wrong and if e takes you to court, you will lose. I do feel for your other child though.

what do you mean if he takes me to court i will lose? lose what?

oh no, of course.. i know its irrational. but still :(

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:47 PM

 most of the time, hurt isnt. im sorry :(

Quoting raeann1984:

 

Quoting faerie75:

If he follows up, he will get visits. I guess "lose" is not the right terminology but you wil not e able to prevent his getting rights based on him not visiting with your other child.

Quoting raeann1984:

 


Quoting faerie75:

Yes you are wrong and if e takes you to court, you will lose. I do feel for your other child though.

what do you mean if he takes me to court i will lose? lose what?

oh no, of course.. i know its irrational. but still :(

 

 
        
         

strngenough
by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:51 PM
Yeah sadly your heart is in the right place by wanting him to include your son, but you are wrong to keep your daughter from her dad. Every other weekend is not much to ask and you will get child support. I don't know, this struggle is why I'm thinking of getting my tubes after I deliver. I don't envy where your at, but I do think it will turn out ok.
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