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i'm ALWAYS the difficult and bipolar one

Posted by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 12:41 PM
  • 6 Replies

 so we had been planning dd's bday party for 2 months and it was gonna be western theme at an arena in town.  i had the place booked and ready, bd was in charge of everything else.  bd told me that his parents were gonna take charge and get things together to make it easier on my pocket.  well, they didn't come through...i bit my tongue and started calculating my funds to see what i could afford even if it was something small.  i told bd that i was gonna make something small at peter piper.  he was ok with that.  i then asked him what time i should make it for (being that he works weekends) and he said well i don't get any weekends off you know that, so why ask?! so then i asked him NICELY; how was he going to make it to the other party.  he said he would go on his lunch break.  really?!?!  who does that?!? when i told him about the switch to something smaller i told him that i didn't want any money from him for the party, that all i wanted was for him to be there.  how the fuck can he tell me that he doesn't get weekends off when he just had last saturday off.  he flipped and told me that i always have to make things more difficult than what they are and that i sound like a bipolar person.  how does he expect me to keep my cool when he's constantly changing things?!?!  i'm so upset!  but in the end, i do things for my dd and i could care less if he isn't there.  i know she will be having WAY too much fun to even notice that he isn't there. 

*one thing to surely set me off would be if his whole family shows up for the free meal! 

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by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 12:41 PM
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Replies (1-6):
easinpc
by Gold Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 12:49 PM

hugs!

arimaur
by Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 12:50 PM

 thanks!  :)

Quoting easinpc:

hugs!

 

baby_boy2012
by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 1:05 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm feeling you on this one. I've experienced a similar situation. The important thing is that you are independent enough to plan this celebration for your child without his help--imagine how that must make him feel. GOOD FOR YOU! You said it yourself, you do what you do for your baby and not him. She's the important one here and she'll remember all the wonderful experiences she had because MOMMY made them possible. If his family shows up, so be it---show them how you do things--you handle the responsibility of your daughter just fine without their or their son's help. 

brieri
by Platinum Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 2:48 PM

 It sounds like you two have communication issues, need to sit down and air out all the possiblities.

steviechick
by Gold Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 2:53 PM
1 mom liked this

I feel your pain.  When my DD turned 16, I bought her gifts, paid for her decorations, paid for her cake and ice cream, invited her friends to come over for a surprise party.  All my ex did was he took her to get to her driver's license that day.  He barely got to the DMV in time before they closed.  He gave her nothing as a gift.  He then proceeded to show up over an hour late with our DD.  He's a jerk like that. 

You are right, your DD is the important one in the relationship between your ex and you.   If he continues to show his callous behavior you will continue to look like the responsible and stronger one.   It will eventually reflect in how the ex continues to be a father.  Pat yourself on the back for being a good mom and person.   

arimaur
by Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 4:46 PM

 it's just so frustrating...i just really hope everything goes well and i hope dd enjoys herself.  and you're right, if his family shows up, i'll just show them how i can handle things just fine.  but the part that really hurts and bothers me is that they have other grandkids and they pull out all the stops for them.  why don't they acknowlege ours?  my ex is great with the kids, but just sucks at keeping his word...i guess he got that from his parents? 

Quoting baby_boy2012:

I'm feeling you on this one. I've experienced a similar situation. The important thing is that you are independent enough to plan this celebration for your child without his help--imagine how that must make him feel. GOOD FOR YOU! You said it yourself, you do what you do for your baby and not him. She's the important one here and she'll remember all the wonderful experiences she had because MOMMY made them possible. If his family shows up, so be it---show them how you do things--you handle the responsibility of your daughter just fine without their or their son's help. 

 

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