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is it normal to love your child and regret them

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I have a 2year old daughter. I am a single mother, her father is not around as much as he should be. I work full time and I go to school fulltime. I also pay for daycare which is 700 a month and to be honest i hate paying for it but i have no choice because its hard finding a baby sitter. Well long story short i love her to death it just seems like i cant deal with all the sacrafices of being a mom. Ive missed so many days of school because she was sick, i cant get an apartment because i pay for her school/ her everything. I want to give her up for adoption but i know i cant do it because my love is too strong. Is it normal to feel this way? Sometimes i hate being around her when she have tempertantrums, is that normal? Why would a mother feel this way,,,do anyone have any advice for me because im not happy.
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by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 1:10 PM
Replies (31-37):
mamalusbear
by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 11:41 PM

Hang in there...sounds like you're working hard and might be a little stressed out.  You have a lot on your plate right now.

amykysmom
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 9:51 AM
1 mom liked this

Hi Momma,

Im 37 and I have two kids. My suggestion would be to get Child Support from the father for sure. They make him pay half of the daycare fees. Also, you can find daycares that go on a sliding scale even if you make to much for assistance.

If you Talk to the owner of the daycare about your situation they should emphasize with you and lower the rate. even 30 dollars a week adds up to food money. I make to much money too. But I barely scrape by.

I cut corners like this:

I don't buy extras right now.

I don't have cable tv. I have an antenna I got for 29.99 at Walmart that gets me a few local channels so I can watch news and let my kid see PBS.And redbox movies when I can.

I don't have internet in my house. I use my Cell phone and tether for internet. This is one bill.

I've moved to downsize in price of rent.

You doing way better then me for going to school. This is something I should do.

WE ALL GO THROUGH THE FEELING OF WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE OUR FREEDOM AGAIN!

Truelly if we gave away that one part of us that is so amazing we wouldn't be happy.

Take a few minutes a day to just hug your baby and you will heal.

I have started to tell my daughter that when she is done with her temper tantrum then I will talk to her again. She barely has them anymore. EVER. Just like someone said.....Ignore them. Because they do it to get your attention positive or Negative. They sometimes don't care what attention it is. Things get easier. They really do.

God bless you. Deep breath momma. You have a lot going on. Don't lose site of your goals.

I decided to budget out one night a week. It cost me 30 dollars and It really helps. I GO OUT ALONE! LOL Goodluck

Remember with God all things are possible.

PaperClip811
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 12:09 PM
I agree. I understand everything you're feeling except the adoption part. I never wanted my son out of my life, I just wanted my life to progress more so I could be better for him. I'd seek some kind of counseling just so you can get those frustrations out.

Quoting Robsessed98:

As a parent, you definitely have to give things up for the child. You sound overstressed and overwhelmed right now. You need to take some time for yourself to relax and regroup. Being frustrated, stressed, exhausted and inconvenienced is normal for a parent, but I think you could also use some counseling to deal with the doubts about wanting to keep her.
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cdjd23
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 4:54 PM

It's hard being a single mom and I'm in the same boat as you, I have to live with my parents because I con't afford rent with all my other expenses and it gets really frustrating. When you are going through particularly hard moments it's ok to put yourself in time out and get away from your dd. Everyone needs a break sometime and it certainly sounds like you could benefit from it. I felt some of the things you are feeling and it does get better with time and you learn how to adjust your expectations and thinking so it's not as hard to deal with the stresses of doing it all on your own.

chattycassie
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 5:09 PM

 It normal and happens to all of us at one point. Go get help with child care. That should lighten the load a little. Prayers and thoughts with you and your baby.

Mocking.Jay
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 8:08 PM

I've regretted having my kid at times, but the feeling always passes. You're just bogged down with a lot of crap right now. It will pass.

mumbellina
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 12:11 AM


Quoting Zacknalexmom:

Having thoughts of giving up your own child is not normal. That would be a even bigger regret you would face. Being a single mom is hard and stressful. I have never once had regrets about my children. My kids are my world. God bless and good luck.

Just because it's not something you haven't experienced doesn't mean it's not normal. As other comments have shown it's actually quite common. I don't think she's actually planning on giving up her daughter. I know that in dealing with my own 3 year old I've entertained plenty of thoughts that I know I would never actually carry out when he's driving me up the wall.

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