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Advice on Parenting Plan for New Baby

Posted by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 11:57 PM
  • 7 Replies

Am hoping for some suggestions on creating a parenting plan to avoid going through the courts. Here are the details:

Baby is 2 1/2 months old right now
She is exclusively breastfed
Her father lives 2 hours away and is only able to come up on weekends, but not every weekend

She rarely sees him, and now he doesn't want me around when he visits her.
My concerns are that she doesn't know him at all, and is still really needy. I know she should be able to become familiar with her father, but I am very concerned about her feeling insecure or frightened not having me nearby for extended amounts of time, and her being upset and miserable with him not knowing what she needs (hungry, too warm, needs to be swaddled, is tired, etc.) I've had no reason to leave her with anyone else, so she's never been away from me.

Any advice or suggestions on starting a parenting plan would be awesome :) 

CafeMom Tickers
by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 11:57 PM
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Replies (1-7):
strngenough
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 12:04 AM
2 moms liked this
She's really too young for such complex thought. All they really know is am I warm, am I fed, am I dry, am I comfy. Babies have very simple thought processes. They are more familiar with the mom. They know our scent, voice, and movements and that is why they are more comfortable with us, but that doesn't mean she will feel abandoned by her going with her dad. She will be fine and to make it easier you can swaddle her in a blanket that he's slept with so she learns his scent. She needs to know who dad is sometime. This will just become part of the routine.

Emotional factor on you is the hardest part. I'm right there with you. I'm not looking forward to nights away when my baby is born, but he's got a dad too.
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Jade89
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 12:05 AM
Bump, I need suggestions too
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sid1083
by Silver Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 2:08 AM
Possibly offer him up to 8 hours/day (or work up to that amount) with the option of you being there for the first hour for her to get acclimated. You can always pump & provide him with the necessary food. She is too young to really know what's going on so most of the concerns you list are adult thoughts imposed on a 2.5 month old brain.
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amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 3:56 PM

This is a good idea, though I'd maybe start with no more than 3 hours the first couple of times.

Quoting sid1083:

Possibly offer him up to 8 hours/day (or work up to that amount) with the option of you being there for the first hour for her to get acclimated. You can always pump & provide him with the necessary food. She is too young to really know what's going on so most of the concerns you list are adult thoughts imposed on a 2.5 month old brain.


steviechick
by Gold Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 4:09 PM

Good advice from everyone.  Welcome to the group!

Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 4:50 PM
The sooner you let him have alone time, the better. It's not the end of the world for you not to be with her all the time.

My son went regularly with his dad early on in his life. I think it's easier on the child that way since it's part of their life basically from the start. It's not necessarily easy for mom but it helps make dad more responsible a lot of times.

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Alex5901
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:26 PM
bump
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