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its so hard

Posted by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:56 AM
  • 10 Replies

so heres my story...i started dating this guy id been talking to for a year. i was 16 he was 20. we had only been dating for 3 months when i found i was pregnant. i was so scared and trying to figgure out how i got pregnant seeming how i was on birthcontroll and we where using condoms. when i told my bf he started to act weird from then on out. i ended up dropping out of school untill she was born. i am now in cna training and almost finished. starting college in january for rn. and me and my daughters father just broke it off monday because i was tired of being treating like i was a no one and tired of being cheated on. its hared though because i love him but at the same time i know my daughter and i do not desearve to be treatd like this. i just with i knew how to get over him because at the same time he keeps telling me he will change and i know he wont because ive given him at least 10 chances to change and he never does. what do i do to proove to him that i truely am not happy anymore and that its not good for our daughter?

by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
steviechick
by Gold Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 11:03 AM

Prove to him that it's over by not seeing him anymore.  Cut ties with him completely.  And, simply by telling him you two are through once and for all.  When you show him that you don't care anymore he will eventually get the hint.  You both are young and really too young to be involved with each other.  You share a child together.  I hope he does in fact continue to be a father to his daughter.  Most men his age don't. What is best for your daughter is seeing her parents get along by not being together. 

AddysMomma2011
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 12:24 PM

i am now almost 19. i turned 17 and then 2 months later i had my daughter and he is now 22. and it is so hard to just let go like i love him but im not in love with him anymore due to his actions. like i know that i cant force him to change or anything, but i have given him chance after chance and he changes for like a month or two and then goes back to being an @ss and i dont know what i did or why hes doing what hes doing, but i just cant put up with him anymore...i do love hime but im just not in love with him anymore and it sucks cause i wanted to marry him i truely did untill he started pulling what he was pulling.

Quoting steviechick:

Prove to him that it's over by not seeing him anymore.  Cut ties with him completely.  And, simply by telling him you two are through once and for all.  When you show him that you don't care anymore he will eventually get the hint.  You both are young and really too young to be involved with each other.  You share a child together.  I hope he does in fact continue to be a father to his daughter.  Most men his age don't. What is best for your daughter is seeing her parents get along by not being together. 


victoriahearts
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 12:51 PM

The only way to prove it to him is by moving forward and being strong. You don't have to cut him out of your daugther's life is he is actually a good dad, I know he cheated on you and didn't treat you right but those are problems in your relationship with him, so you did make the right choice by breaking up with him, now make it clear with your attentions you don't want him back but you welcome him in making right by your daugther. If he is a bad dad then make plans to ensure your child isn't hurt, go to court, make up visitation rights and get child support, do all this to show him  you mean business, you are moving forward.  

PeaceLoveZ
by Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 1:46 PM

He won't change. You don't have to prove anything to him. If you're not happy, you're not happy. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Your kids can tell when you are unhappy, and it does affect them and their mood. If your daughter sees mommy is unhappy with daddy, she'll think it'll be okay for her to be unhappy when shes older.

brieri
by Platinum Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 3:26 PM

 Hi and welcome to the group.

Advice?  Kick him to the curb and don't ever look back.

AddysMomma2011
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 3:32 PM

yea hes a pretty good dad but it scares me knowing that i wont have my daughter here with me and that shell b with him all alone knowing that shes a mommys girl

Quoting victoriahearts:

The only way to prove it to him is by moving forward and being strong. You don't have to cut him out of your daugther's life is he is actually a good dad, I know he cheated on you and didn't treat you right but those are problems in your relationship with him, so you did make the right choice by breaking up with him, now make it clear with your attentions you don't want him back but you welcome him in making right by your daugther. If he is a bad dad then make plans to ensure your child isn't hurt, go to court, make up visitation rights and get child support, do all this to show him  you mean business, you are moving forward.  


AddysMomma2011
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 3:33 PM

very true

Quoting PeaceLoveZ:

He won't change. You don't have to prove anything to him. If you're not happy, you're not happy. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Your kids can tell when you are unhappy, and it does affect them and their mood. If your daughter sees mommy is unhappy with daddy, she'll think it'll be okay for her to be unhappy when shes older.


AddysMomma2011
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 3:35 PM

im trying my damndest i truely am

Quoting brieri:

 Hi and welcome to the group.

Advice?  Kick him to the curb and don't ever look back.


faerie75
by Ruby Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 7:24 PM

 just stick to your guns and tell him you are done. stay busy and dont answer his calls. dont engage in arguments with him. if he tries, hang up or leave. let him see your kid though. id take care of support and custody legally, it alleviates a lot of problems.

you just have to be strong. shuttign him compltely out is not an option since you all have a kid.

AddysMomma2011
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 12:20 PM

this is very true but like i have too many feelings and hate feeling like an @ss...i fell guilty

Quoting faerie75:

 just stick to your guns and tell him you are done. stay busy and dont answer his calls. dont engage in arguments with him. if he tries, hang up or leave. let him see your kid though. id take care of support and custody legally, it alleviates a lot of problems.

you just have to be strong. shuttign him compltely out is not an option since you all have a kid.


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