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20 and going to be a single mom

Posted by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 12:13 PM
  • 12 Replies
We'll were to start I'm 20years old an now nearly 7weeks pregnant me and the father are not together bec he prove to me he doesn't care about me I'm verry mature for my age but doesn't look like he is ready to be a father he is also 20years old but still wants to drink and party till 5 in the mornings I'm not sad that I'm pregnant just wish it wasn't his child I now feel I'm never going to get married or feel loved because most men don't want other mens bagage this is not how I wanted my life to be I pitcured a happy family not me having to be a single mom I feel so lost and lonley I really don't know what I'm going to do.
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 12:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LauraMH
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 12:28 PM

I don't think that most of us pictured ourselves as single moms. I know I didn't. I even stayed with my ex (horrible relationship) for almost 10 years trying to have that "happy family" I always dreamed about. Now I'm 28 and feel like I wasted my 20's with a relationship that was never going to work. If I could change who my children's father is I most certainly would. But I can't, and neither can you. What you can do is make the very best out of your life and what has been given to you. This baby will be your biggest blessing. Even though it may not be what you always pictured for yourself, it may be a million times better.

Don't worry about another man right now. The right one will come to you when the time is right. Focus on yourself and your little one for now. Good luck with everything.

kristiansmommy1
by Bronze Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 12:31 PM
Once your baby comes youll love them no matter who the father is!! I know its hard and always will be but once theyre born itll be worth it. And there are a lot of single moms that do end up married. Good luck and I'm glad you chose what's best for you and the baby
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victoriahearts
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 12:46 PM

I had the same dreams as you did , I got married to the man of my dreams or so I though and we had a child together and then we got divorce even when you get everything you dream of, it's not always destined to work out. Life as a way of putting everyone on the path, just think of your path as starting here at 20 years old with a wonderful baby on the way, and there are plenty of woman that do find a husband even when they had a child. I have dated while being a single mom it's not the easiest but it isn't the worse either, and the fact is that you will never be lonely when you have child , it's something that will be constant for a very long time. Just look forward to all the amazing things you have coming your way, and I am more then sure that you will make your own happily ever after.

steviechick
by Gold Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 2:02 PM
1 mom liked this

I married someone I should never have married.  Was miserable throughout most of my marriage.  He decided on his own to cheat on me, move in with his bimbo and father two kids behind my back.  He does this after we have been married for 26 years.  I gave it my all.  I even had a child with this man.  A child that can't stand to be with her father because she's disappointed in him.  Sometimes we don't have everything we want.  Sometimes they are taken away from us.  And, sometimes it's truly for the best.  In my case, I'm much better off without a miserable person such as my ex.  Too bad the bimbo hasn't figure it out yet, but she will in due time.  I'm a single mom even though my DD is 18.  She has no other parent actually looking out for her best interests.  If my ex had truly been a decent father he wouldn't have done the things he did to me.  What kind of a father cheats on his own wife so his own child learns just how low he can be? 

Your baby will be the one constant in your life as you grow up together.  I at least have my DD to share my life with.  I thank God that he gave me to her.  She's the one thing that makes my life happy everyday.  When you become a mom you will know the happiest day of your life the minute you hold your own child and she looks into your eyes.  You will the most important person in her life forever.

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 2:05 PM

Welcome & congrats on your pregnancy!

Quoting shaunice20:

We'll were to start I'm 20years old an now nearly 7weeks pregnant me and the father are not together bec he prove to me he doesn't care about me I'm verry mature for my age but doesn't look like he is ready to be a father he is also 20years old but still wants to drink and party till 5 in the mornings I'm not sad that I'm pregnant just wish it wasn't his child I now feel I'm never going to get married or feel loved because most men don't want other mens bagage this is not how I wanted my life to be I pitcured a happy family not me having to be a single mom I feel so lost and lonley I really don't know what I'm going to do.


brieri
by Platinum Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 3:21 PM

 HI and welcome to the group.

Stop and think why did you get with him in the first place.

01_Erika
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 3:40 PM
I'm 21 and I'm a single mom, it's definitely not easy but you can do it. My pregnancy was not what I expected it to be,I would say 80% of my pregnancy was spent crying. The father of my son would make me feel like I wasn't worth anything, I felt at my lowest, he had a bad temper,he would drink excessively, I worked all throught my pregnacy saving up money for our son while he would work for a month or 2 and be unemployed for 4-5 months . He did not save a dime! I bought everything for my baby.I also wanted that "perfect family" but I mean who doesn't, right. I would have to say that's why I stuck around hoping he would change. Now that I look back I was pretty stupid I was the man and women in the relationship I didn't really need him but I wanted a family. 3 Weeks after my baby was born I had enough I decided to end things. My life has been so much better without him I wished I could have done it sooner. Your baby will be your biggest blessing. I'm sure you'll find that special person someday. Just be strong. Good luck (:


Quoting amonkeymom:

Welcome & congrats on your pregnancy!

Quoting shaunice20:

We'll were to start I'm 20years old an now nearly 7weeks pregnant me and the father are not together bec he prove to me he doesn't care about me I'm verry mature for my age but doesn't look like he is ready to be a father he is also 20years old but still wants to drink and party till 5 in the mornings I'm not sad that I'm pregnant just wish it wasn't his child I now feel I'm never going to get married or feel loved because most men don't want other mens bagage this is not how I wanted my life to be I pitcured a happy family not me having to be a single mom I feel so lost and lonley I really don't know what I'm going to do.



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Jennyanne322
by Bronze Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 3:44 PM
Welcome. I was 20 when I had my son, and his dad was 30. He would party, drink, and spend all of mine and his money on doing it. It drove me crazy. I stayed, and left when my son was a month old. Smartest thing I ever did. One huge word of advice, do not give this baby his last name. Give the baby your last name, and file for child support right away. Apply for WIC and everything else you qualify for. Have you spoken to your family about being a single mom? I had great support from my family and without them I probably wouldn't have made it.
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Panda86
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 6:29 PM

I am 26 and have been a single mom to 2 kids since my early 20s their dad isnt involved and i totally understand your feelings of wishing it wasn't his child. The best advice i could give is just focus on yourself and your child. For the longest time i couldn't get over being a single parent and hating their father and how hard he made my life. But looking back i wasted so much time being sad. Just try to move past it and move forward. Now me and my children have a great life and i am in a way better spot then i was. Sometimes things seem like they will be one way forever when really it will pass and get better. And honestly there are plenty of dead beats but at the same time there are plenty of great guys who have no issues dating a single mom. I could never imagine myself being a single mom as long as i have but the best thing i ever did for myself was let all those feelings go, accepted it, and never doubted my abilities to do it alone. Things will get better!

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 7:16 PM

you will be fine. there are plenty of men out there that will date a mother. but you ahve to be a happy, confident person with something to offer. if your kids dad is dumb, walk away. if he wants to see his kid let him but make it legal and get support. meanwhile stay busy and focus on you adn your kid and being the woman you want to be.  

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