Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The Truth is FINALLY out!

Posted by on Dec. 1, 2012 at 7:49 AM
  • 16 Replies

Good Morning Ladies! I just had to write this to get it off my chest to get everyone else's opinions about what I should do...

I am living in Ohio (near family), working full time and going to school full time online as well. I have an awesome 19 month old little boy named Carter. I am a single mother and I do everything on my own for him. His father is active duty stationed in Missouri and hasnt seen him since he was born. He pays court ordered child support garnished from the military but thats about it, he has nothing to do with him other than that.

I am currently pregnant (Due Feb 3) with another boy. His father is in VA Beach (where I just moved from)active duty as well. (I was active duty). Me and his dad split up due to his inability to tell the truth and the fact that he was always saying "we had nothing in common after being together a few months". Well, the only reason I stayed in Virginia after I got out of the military was for him because we were still together. We broke up and I stil stayed becuase I was pregnant and I didnt want to have another child without his father around. Well, needless to say that I moved back home and we still stayed in contact talking on the phone like a couple times a week and texting and then it went down to once a week talking and text and here recently I could tell that he was lying about things...We had an agreement between the two of us about how much he would pay for our son (Blake) and about visitation and all that to keep it out of court and he would buy him a crib in December before he is born. Well, needless to say...The truth finally came out this past weekend when his WIFE started texting me saying that I need to never talk to her husband again until the baby is born and they get a DNA test done proving he is the father and all this other BS...I had just talked to him THAT DAY like two hours before that and he NEVER said anything about having a gf. I asked him if he did and he said "No i do not, i dont know why you think that" and my pregnancy intuitions told me differently. Well, his mom even told me that night that he didnt have a gf, let alone a wife.

Well, now he has blocked my phone number and I cant get ahold of him and he says he wants a paternity test (which is fine but I REFUSE to pay for it). He has not mentioned the crib anymore and I have a bad feeling he will try to take me to court to get custody...WTF?!?!

Well, I just dont know how to react to all of this. I dont care tht he has moved on but I do not want another woman to try to be a mother to my son at all. I want Blake to have a good life as much as possible and be able to coparent but I am pretty sure it will be impossible with this woman around in his life (oh and she has a kid that he is taking care of full time and says that he is going to adopt him). A HUGE part of me just says DO NOT contact him when the baby is born but another part of me says "no, that is not right"...

My question to yall is "how do yall do it with your ex remarried and his new wife acting like this" and "should i contact him at all when baby is born or should i let the state go after him for paternity and child support?"

by on Dec. 1, 2012 at 7:49 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by on Dec. 1, 2012 at 8:13 AM
1 mom liked this
Wow hes a piece of work. Prolly had some gal text you pretending to be wife. Id have no further contact with him except for the child support.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 1, 2012 at 8:37 AM
3 moms liked this
My son's dad married a girl that went crazy for a while. She stirred up all kinds of mess.

I spent a great deal of time praying for her, my son's dad, and my son. And it helped. She ended up having their child and actually apologized to me (well, as close to one as I'll ever get).

Unfortunately you really have no say in who your children's stepmothers will be. Just do your best to get along and do what you think is best for your child. Avoid fighting, especially over stupid, petty crap. And pray for protection over your kids.

I wouldn't contact him except for through child support recovery.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 1, 2012 at 3:24 PM
3 moms liked this

He prolly had some chick to text you but yes let cs go after him for paternity and support

by Bronze Member on Dec. 2, 2012 at 1:37 AM
I would not contact him at all. If you are going to file for support just a heads up (cuz I live in Franklin county in the Columbus area) when I filed for support back in 1999 for my DS I was told if the father lives out of state then there WILL be a paternity test done before support is established.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 2:02 AM
I'd leave well enough alone and not contact him again. He knows when you're due. He has your number. He can call.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 4:23 AM
Check with your county to see the requirements on a DNA test. If you file for cs and the dad isn't on the bc, the state may actually pick up the cost of the paternity test.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 4:29 AM
He is just trying to play games with you skin his ass by making him pay what he owes you men will try to break you dont let him stress you be strong for your boys.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 10:26 AM
Welcome to the group what a piece if work
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 10:39 AM

 My ex was married before me and had another child before mine were born. At first I was like that woman, because I was young. It didn't take long (about a month or so) when visitation started and I realized that co-parenting between the parents was a needed thing. He cannot get custody of a newborn unless he proves you are abusive, on drugs, or going to kill the baby and/or yourself. So, that said, just ignore it. He probably cannot get any visitation being so far away, either, unless they come to OH to stay for their allotted time of visitation. He would have to file in the county the baby is living in (where you are) and most likely the county judge isn't going to let that baby leave state until the child is old enough to be escorted on a plane and KNOWS the father well enough for longer periods of visitation. Don't stress. Also, I know this doesn't sound like good advice, but a drawer lined with padding and blankets works well until you can get a pack and play or crib. My oldest didn't even have a drawer. We just placed him on a mat of blankets next to our mat on the floor in our bedroom.

I'm a Pagan single mother to Monkey (2007), Lump (2009), Bean (2011), and Princess (2012).

  grey ribbon red ribbonlove you signMilk Allergy, delays, heart defects and CAPD can't defeat us!

by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 3:00 PM
Notify him when the baby is born, then haul his sorry ass into court asap for custody and suupport. You wont be able to keep his wife from being around the baby when he has him unless you can prove her o be unfit or a danger. The baby will know who his mommy is, so dont stress over him having another woman in his wife. Its possible she will be very good to and for him.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)