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Doing it all on my own and honestly it's getting harder.....

Posted by on Dec. 1, 2012 at 2:38 PM
  • 29 Replies
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Me and the father of my child do not speak. He does not call nor does he pay cs for our dd. he's suppose to have visitation on Saturdays , doesn't even come to pick her up, just yesterday he commented on a mutual friends picture saying he was at a friends house, who literally lives two blocks from me. It's been so hard but I'm doing what I can, I have a job I go to school , but not having a car (which he does) is really hard to get around. I'm going to take the test soon but with what time :(. I'm headed to work as we speak I have to pay baby sitting, diapers , wipes , food and then pay my phone bill and bus and train, while he goes out with his friends and gf and only pays for his phone bill -_- he doesn't even know how easy he has it smh. I feel like there's no point taking him to court again twice and still doesn't follow court orders. I've been losing who I thought were friends and then had this guy make believe he loved me and my dd and then went back to his ex ( when I say he fooled me he was offering to adopt her as his own -_-) but I'm isolating myself from everyone which I hate to do but it's for the best. I need to get my own place and car . Just one of those days where you would love to just get away *sigh*
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by on Dec. 1, 2012 at 2:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Shaybay218
by on Dec. 1, 2012 at 3:17 PM

*Hugs* sorry you are going thru that...i'm a single mom of 3 girls..

Aracely.vanessa
by on Dec. 1, 2012 at 3:28 PM

hang in there. When i and my daughters father seperated. I went back to my parents home. I had no money save. and my job was cleaning houses. didnt even had my high school or GED.  I did have a car but broke down on me so i was on bus and metro. But what kept me goin was him lol yes i said to my self f him i will show him i can do it on my own. Also i started to reed the bible and ask god for help. A year later i got a job as a leasing agent been doing this for 5 years now. As soon as i got the job i bought me a car. Our daughter is 7 years old now. and attends one of the best schools in DC and is in singing and art class which i pay for. As for him guess what?. he has no job and a beat down car and still lives with his parents. AND he ask me for help such as money or rides to his court. Since i have a huge heart i do it for him.

So take it slow and yes it will be hard at the begging but stay focus on your daughter and you. oh and always ask god to put you in the right path. you will be ok. =). 

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Dec. 1, 2012 at 3:54 PM
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It's hard but it really does get better
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conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Dec. 1, 2012 at 4:02 PM
Go down to your child support enforcement... they will garnish wages, taxes, any income ... and u will get child support. You can't force him to do visitation but you need to give him a wake up call.
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Lynnster327
by Member on Dec. 1, 2012 at 4:09 PM
1 mom liked this
Oh wow I salute you mama keep doing you and raising your kids and thanks :)


Quoting Shaybay218:

*Hugs* sorry you are going thru that...i'm a single mom of 3 girls..


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mila19
by on Dec. 1, 2012 at 4:19 PM
I am going threw the same thing, I think you should put him on child support. By the wat what an asshole and karmas a bitch. But back to what I was sayin, you can try and sign up for food assistant and cash assistant and Medicare from the food stamps Department people. you can do it online. Thats if you dont make good enough money. At least something to help you out:)
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Lynnster327
by Member on Dec. 1, 2012 at 4:27 PM
I'm from dc as well ! And that's how I try to look at things that they will get better it just takes time congrats on ur success and thanks for your support :)


Quoting Aracely.vanessa:

hang in there. When i and my daughters father seperated. I went back to my parents home. I had no money save. and my job was cleaning houses. didnt even had my high school or GED.  I did have a car but broke down on me so i was on bus and metro. But what kept me goin was him lol yes i said to my self f him i will show him i can do it on my own. Also i started to reed the bible and ask god for help. A year later i got a job as a leasing agent been doing this for 5 years now. As soon as i got the job i bought me a car. Our daughter is 7 years old now. and attends one of the best schools in DC and is in singing and art class which i pay for. As for him guess what?. he has no job and a beat down car and still lives with his parents. AND he ask me for help such as money or rides to his court. Since i have a huge heart i do it for him.


So take it slow and yes it will be hard at the begging but stay focus on your daughter and you. oh and always ask god to put you in the right path. you will be ok. =). 


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kagegirl
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 9:56 AM
1 mom liked this

I was where you are now many moons ago. SIngle mom, no car, barely enough to keep body and soul together. Deadbeat dad who would pay his pitiful child support every few months if I was lucky. It was a nightmare. But, I made it through. I managed to find a used car, for sale by owner. Told the girl my story and she was willing to take payments. It wasn't the best car, but it got the job done. I then worked on my career. Now that I was mobile, it was easier to focus on that. Now, 8 years of extremely hard work later, I am on the verge of opening my own business and being financially independant. The dad? Well, I nailed his ass and got sole custody and now he gets to jump to my tune. When you are overwhelmed by life, it is best to sit down and write out a plan. Write out all of your goals for your life, even if the goal is something so small as "Exercise" or "Quit smoking" or "car" and then list the steps you need to do in order to fulfill that goal. Take the big picture in little bites and you will make it. Feel free to message me if you need to vent. 

Danglmommy
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 10:03 AM
Im sorry sweety, im in the same boat. I isolate myself too. I have sworn off guys because its unecessary grief. I often am told whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger but I dont feel like im getting stronger. I try to focus on things I like in my downtime like watching certain shows, sketching, painting my nails, things that help me unwind. They arent big but they help. Im sorry I know how hard it is. I hope things get better for you.
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Lynnster327
by Member on Dec. 2, 2012 at 12:06 PM
Thank you and that's exactly what I'm doing now taking the goals I wanna accomplish and writing them down and which one I wanna knock out first it helps that way and good for you about your own business hope its a success thanks for the support !


Quoting kagegirl:

I was where you are now many moons ago. SIngle mom, no car, barely enough to keep body and soul together. Deadbeat dad who would pay his pitiful child support every few months if I was lucky. It was a nightmare. But, I made it through. I managed to find a used car, for sale by owner. Told the girl my story and she was willing to take payments. It wasn't the best car, but it got the job done. I then worked on my career. Now that I was mobile, it was easier to focus on that. Now, 8 years of extremely hard work later, I am on the verge of opening my own business and being financially independant. The dad? Well, I nailed his ass and got sole custody and now he gets to jump to my tune. When you are overwhelmed by life, it is best to sit down and write out a plan. Write out all of your goals for your life, even if the goal is something so small as "Exercise" or "Quit smoking" or "car" and then list the steps you need to do in order to fulfill that goal. Take the big picture in little bites and you will make it. Feel free to message me if you need to vent. 


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