Ok, so you see the title.
Yep, it's true....
But it's a bit more complicated than that. Well, for me, it is; but overall, it's simple
1. My son just turned 12 yrs old; his dad had asked him over the past summer break if he wanted to live with him. Well, fast foward to now, and his dad brought it up some days ago; and at first I was against it'; but over the weekend, I have had time to think about it while Tony was with his dad.
2. His dad is now in a place where he is financially stable, he has a good relationship with a woman he cares for dearly. And I like her for the most part.
3. My son likes his dad's lady. I would like for them to be married; and I think it will happen...
4. Emotionally this is hard to deal with; a few reasons why:
a. I'm afraid that my son going with his dad, I won't be involved in parenting decisions; I understand that this lady would be the mother figure in the house. But I don't want to be left out when it comes to making life decisions for Tony
b. I don't have the same desire to be a parent. I will admit that. There is a battle I have been raging within myself; I'm just not happy and have the joy as I used to; I don't know why, but things started changing 3 months ago. I have prayed so much for God to restore the joy in my heart. I feel like it will come back; but I don't want my son to leave and I feel relief. That scares me. Like it's not right. But I also don't want to get too comfortable with not having my son at home. That has been one of the hardest things for me to admit; but it's part of why I am considering my son being with his dad.
c. His dad has a full family; Tony would get to spend more time with his brother and his potential step brother. And my son has lived with me for approx 7 years - I have raised him all throughout elementary school; I feel like I have taught some valuable things and our relationship has been rebuilt (that's another story); I know it's not over; but I know the whole dynamic WILL change. So, with Tony being older, and the relationship between he and his dad have gotten better, we are going to have Tony go and live with them effective this next school year (Tony will start Jr. High).
5. A decision has not been made; I talked with JL (Tony's dad) about all of this; and I talked with Tony. Now JD is going to talk with his lady to see how she feels about it.
6. I plan to speak with a therapist. I ask for no pity; but I want to make it clear that I feel sad that I feel like this. Like my son going to his dad's is fine; but I don't want it to be under the circumstances based on my thoughts and feelings; but I also don't want my son to be feeling any type of negative vibes from me. I will do anything for Tony to have a good life; especially a good childhood. I don't care what I feel; I take care of my child. I do my best to love him. But I need to get some things resolved with myself. My son is here for a long time; and I do want us to have a good, pure relationship while we are in this world.
My emotions are all over the place; I'm happy about how far we have gotten as a family; especially being split. I'm glad that Tony is okay with going with his dad. But I'm not happy with what I'm feeling. I believe it will get better; but I've got to face it...God is faithful.
Comments are welcomed. Some moms may not happy with what they are reading; but I ask that those who oppose the thoughts expressed in this post not down or bash me. I do welcome all comments and questions.
Question: any moms have been through this: specifically where your child goes to live with their father? How was the transition?
*Thanks for letting me express myself of CM. Whether I get 10 replies are 0, this is a way for me to get my feelings out, with real people are reading this, but I get to get my feelings out with no interruption...