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My dd will never meet her father's mother. :(

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 2:55 AM
  • 8 Replies

Last week I noticed on my dd's fathers cousin FB page, that she wrote a sympathy stat with ex's mother name. I hardly read her stuff on there, but seeing ex's moms name caught my eye. He was linked through tag, along with his brothers and sister. My heart dropped, and I wanted to cry. I wrote her before Thanksgiving area, through fb to ask if she could give me medical history from that side. I had no idea, do I know anything on whats happening on his end. With him, his family etc and I was expecting an answer from her back felt like. She was a nice gal, sweet lady and I liked her as she did me. Come to find out she had cancer again, not sure how long she's had it. She had breast cancer when my x was in high school (he's 31 btw), and beat it. 

I wrote him to give him my sympathy, of course no answer yet hey I expected that. I found his brother, the one I did know enough to be able to feel comfortable contacting. An gave him my sympathy, told him to give my X a hug but not tell him was from me. With my luck he'd push him back, or say who from now?? LOL. He hasn't spoken to me again, since that random call months months ago that he got the phone. He didn't know my #, and he by chance got it almost making me crap myself. His brother wrote back thanking me, I told him I had no harsh feelings or bad ones to his brother nor will I. An he said as far as he knew, he didn't have either. I couldn't help to feel weirdly better, I didn't get closure YET I was able to find out. I don't have a voodoo doll of me, and a bad trip walking isn't caused by him wishing it upon me. Still that nagging question, I will never get out of my head when thinking of him. Will be if he doesn't hate me, or wish me to fall into a pit of lava will he talk to me?? Even for her sake, I'm not bothered him not with me yet I saw how he interacted with not just his children. My three big kids, and think its me ya know?

I feel sad for him, and his family for their loss. I feel sad for Josilyn who will never meet her grandma, I'm not even positive she knew of her and or I was pregnant when we split up. I wrote of her, in the message yet she sounded to be truly ill not with it toward the end of her days. I'm sure she hadn't seen my message, did she. My dd may not even get to know her father, past knowing he pays support if she asks about him. Still it was her grandma, and I knew of her meeting her being more then some BM's at times have. She'd loved her, and she was a good lady one I can see doing over nights with. At least for history I do know for sure, cancer is strong on both sides. 

by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 2:55 AM
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by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 5:40 AM
You got a good heart. Normally people dont turn away sympathy. My mother never got to meet my youngest daughter. She died 12 yrs ago. My exs mom died when he was 11, the only living grandparent my girls have is my dad. I let them talk on phone since he lives in texas..we live nc
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by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 7:03 AM

Nice of you moma!

by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 9:14 AM
That was nice of you. You can help dd know her through stories about her. My youngest barely remembers my exs mom but I tell her stories so she feels like she does.
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by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:47 AM

I'm sorry that must to be so hard especially since she seemed like a wonderful lady, hopefully her father will come around and he will will be ale to have  a connection with your DD.I don't know background, but losing a parent must touch very close to those feelings of him being a father too. 

by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 1:05 PM

 My ex's mother died in 2009 when my son was 4. My son hadn't seen her since he was 3-4 months old. I heard about her death through a friend I saw out one day. I called my ex and offered my condolences.

I went to the funeral and took my son with me even though he didn't know anyone there. I did it out of respect for my ex and for his mother. She and I got along when he and I were dating. His mother was a veteran so they did the whole military honor thing and the music was just sad.

All in all I'm sorry for you and your dd as well as your ex. Hugs!

by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 3:04 PM

 That's nice. 

by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:54 PM

Thank you, I may get angry at my xdh and get sad with my babies daddy yet I have respect for them still. As the fathers of my children, I do not wish them any harm and at most to stub their toe once in a blue moon. ;) LOL.

I just met her once his mother, but of what I did see she was a warm hearted woman. She was a single mother of four kids want to say them young, my ex's father left her and she met his step dad before he was in middle school. That has been more of his "father, then his real dad and he has a step/half brother from them two. Of what I saw on his brothers, my dd's uncles fb page she was comfortable in the last days of her life thankfully. I am going to contact him again, the brother to see if he'll like to know her and at least meet her. I'd like to have some kind of connection to his family, so I can say hey this is your so an so ask them things. I had my fathers sister, my god mother who kept me in the loop and told me about my fathers side of the family. I didn't speak to him, know him that much yet I knew about his family. Knew his sister, who I was close to and my mother didn't keep me away from them. I want to do the same for my dd, my three big kids know their fathers fam of course. An they know the step mothers family, so in some weird way they have more then one family lol. 

by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 11:10 PM
Very nice of you
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