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Posted by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:58 AM
  • 17 Replies

Hello All, 



 I have been a single mommy for a while now but this Nov made it official I will always be a single parent. My ex husband passed away Nov 2.. I have a lot of issues from his dying and get so mad at times. My children have lost their father and sometimes i feel like I have lost my husband as well. 


Long story short we divorced after 12 yrs and a rough marriage to say the least.. He had many other women on the side and as I found out after he died a lot of kids born to him and his whores. He found out in April of this year the day he retired from the Marine Corps that he had Pancreatic Cancer. I was by his side as he found this out and held his hand as we heard 6 mths to live. I think we both cried and tried to figure out how we would tell the kids. 


Well after I had agreed to take care of him.. he turns around and marries his mistress :(  FML.. 


Now after his death she has made my life a living hell....I am just at a loss at how all of this could of happened and how I guess I am not supposed to grieve him.. 

by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
AubreeG16
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 9:02 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm SO sorry momma.. this all must be hard... if you wanna talk you can message me..
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Robsessed98
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 9:08 AM
Im sorry for your loss. Theres nothing wrong with being angry, its one of the stages of grief and healing. Dont let her make your life anything. Take what legally belongs to your kids, including his social security, and block communication with the wife. After time passes aand you and your kids heal a bit, try to open the door to letting them know their siblings. A little counseling would help you deal with what he did to you during your relationship. ((hugs))
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Amoong
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 9:11 AM

That is part of the problem.. We are trying to find out the legalities of it right now.. As per a thing between us.. We both had life insurance and somehow he made her in charge of his for her to dole it out to the kids.. She has not mentioned anything to me about starting a bank account for them or anything.. My money is on her taking the money and running.. He died Nov.2 and she had him cremated (no way he was ok with that) and still no service or anything of the like... 

victoriahearts
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:54 AM
1 mom liked this

The heart is one of the most mysteries things on this earth for sure, you are allowed to grieve, allowed to be pissed the f**** off, you are allowed to even love him and miss him, that is the result of loving a man, your husband, despite his flaw there much have been something that kept you by his side and made you want to take care of him.  I say let the feelings come, live them, feel them but just don't let them consume you. 

victoriahearts
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 11:03 AM

Things like that can be extremely hard to deal with, did he leave it in writting that she would have to give the children part of the life insurance settlement?

Quoting Amoong:

That is part of the problem.. We are trying to find out the legalities of it right now.. As per a thing between us.. We both had life insurance and somehow he made her in charge of his for her to dole it out to the kids.. She has not mentioned anything to me about starting a bank account for them or anything.. My money is on her taking the money and running.. He died Nov.2 and she had him cremated (no way he was ok with that) and still no service or anything of the like... 


brieri
by Platinum Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 3:20 PM

 Hi and welcome to the group.

I am so confused to what you are saying.  You say your husband died, at the same time you say you were divorcced.  I understand you have children with him, where did all the other children come from.   

Do you get any type of support moneys from his death, if so, it might be wise consult with an attorney or someone in the legal field. 

 

SevenKisses
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 3:45 PM

If there is one piece of advice I can give you, it is to NOT let yourself or others tell you that you cannot grieve. It doesn't matter that you weren't together, it doesn't even matter that you probably feel you hated him at one point in time.

One year ago my sons' father took his life. We weren't together at the time, it was actually the WORST we had been, he wasn't even seeing DS. But his death has affected me in so many ways that I cannot even comprehend. I miss him more and more every single day and wonder how my son will do finding this out as he gets older. I loved him and I will always love him and miss him. I will always feel sadness and grief. I just want to give you a huge hug, you sound like you need it. I am here if you want to talk, though I know our situations are different in some ways, some they are not.

josiahmom
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 5:29 PM

hello! im sry for your loss.

Amoong
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:53 PM


Quoting brieri:

 Hi and welcome to the group.

I am so confused to what you are saying.  You say your husband died, at the same time you say you were divorcced.  I understand you have children with him, where did all the other children come from.   

Do you get any type of support moneys from his death, if so, it might be wise consult with an attorney or someone in the legal field. 

 

 Hello, 


 Sorry it must be a bit confusing sorry I write things out as they are in my head without editing them. He was my husband for a long time. But yes my ex husband when he passed.  He must of had the other children with the women he cheated with. Because I did not have the children I saw listed.  I will recieve his MIlitary Retirement to what was stated in our divorce I believe and since I never remarried I will recieve social security for me and the children as well. His widow gets nothing due to her marrying him knowing he was terminally ill. 

Amoong
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:55 PM

I am sorry for you and your daughters loss as well. Yes this is a confusing world I am in now and am at a total loss on what I am supposed to do.. I get so mad and think OMFG you left us 2x and this time you cannot come back to us and who is going to walk our daughters down the aisle and who is our son going to go fish with... then I get so mad at women who bash the fathers.. My ex was a douche to our kids and to me.. But I would rather his douchey behavior than to him being gone for good... 

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