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Pics of my x posted on fb with new family, makes me feel sad, lonely, upset

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 5:11 PM
  • 19 Replies

Im a bit upsat at the moment, well more than upset, im sad and angry and all those emotions that go with seing an x with his current partner having a great life.

Im friends with my sons fathers sister on fb and she posted pics of her brother with his wife and 2 kids. I was young when i got with my sons dad and got preg quite quickly. He left as soon as he found out and has since moved to another country, got married and had 2 kids.

My son never met his dad and that has always been a soar spot for me as i dont want that for my son. I want him to at least have contact with him.I want my son to hear from his dad and get cards at birthdays and xmas.

I just saw the pics of my sons dad with his wife and kids and it really hurt me, I got upset and it makes me feel very bad that my son will never have that.

Also I fantasise that he will turn up at my door saying he ditched his family and wants my family instead and we live happily ever after. I have not told any of my friends or anything bout this fantisy because I dont want to look foolish as I no this wont happen. I feel as though I still love him and thats the hardest part

by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 5:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
josiahmom
by Michelle on Dec. 4, 2012 at 5:31 PM
1 mom liked this

I have had that happen. I get mad still but remember im notthe one stuck with him. Im here for u.

brieri
by Platinum Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 5:55 PM

 I thought of that long ago, but it's over for me. Never will happen.  A fantasy is just that.

Mocking.Jay
by ★Krista★ on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:03 PM
1 mom liked this

I used to think that way. I don't feel sorry for them because every month, they are $1100 short on bills due to child support that he should have been paying since 2007.

Two kids later with this girl and he's as miserable as The Grinch and Scrooge lol. I laugh because it's well deserved on his part - for being lazy and incompetent.

recovered55
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 7:37 PM
I understand. I hate it too
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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Dec. 4, 2012 at 11:14 PM
Hugs and welcome
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knoxmomof2
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 11:30 PM
1 mom liked this

Best thing to do *might* be to remove the sis from your friend's list and communicate via email instead. Seriously, it's not doing you any good to have this kind of access to those things. At the time, it probably fulfills you in the sense that you see him, but it's just going to leave you sad. Sorry you are going through this :(

victoriahearts
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:51 AM
1 mom liked this

It's ok to fantasy especially when the love you have for him is not gone but remember you have to move forward, life has better plans for you. Remember he left you when he found out the was about to become a father and although he has a family now what to say he wouldn't leave the when things got rough for him, people don't change, plus a picture can hide some much that the eye can't see, some of the best family pictures I have with my ex, was me faking being happy. So don't put too much stock in things you see, try to keep positive and maybe even date.

steviechick
by Gold Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 11:33 AM
1 mom liked this

It's perfectly normal to fantise and think 'what could be'.  But, it's not healthy for you to do this.  It's only going to upset you even more.  Getting over a loved one and seeing them move on is hard to accept.  I know that very well.  My ex left me for a co-worker he got pregant and had two kids with.  He snuck behind my back so he could see her.  In the meanwhile he fathered two kids.  He left me for a tramp.   What does that say about him and loyalty, trust and infidelity in a marriage?  I feel sorry for the new wife.  She has no idea who she's married to.  My ex suffers from severe mental problems.  He's a sociopath.  He has severe money problems (which I've dealt with for many years) which also leads to further infidelity with the new wife.  My ex is 53 and his tramp/wife is 37.  He fatheredd two and one year old with his bimbo.  A grandfather having children.  He's not paid me cs in a few months.  That only leads me to suspect he is having the same money problems he had with me.  It's a continuum with this guy.  Her problem now.

I would also de-friend this family member just so that you can't see your ex's pictures of a 'happy family'.  It will only make you suffer even more.  You need to move on with your life and only think about that little boy you have.  My ex's new wife has a FB account she has public.  She could care less about my feelings or respect for me for that matter.  I refuse to check her FB page.  She's just as messed up as my ex.  I have no respect for anyone that helps break-up a marriage and has children with a married man.  I don't even feel sorry for her.  She has my ex and all that comes with him.  I guess you can call it karma.  ; )

saralee521
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 12:07 PM
1 mom liked this

I understand this must be hard, but why are you looking at them? Obviously it causes you hurt and you don't need it! You may need to cut ties with the sister to ensure you don't see this if it only upsets you. (AND don't go looking him/her up either, something I have noticed is that-if you are searching out something bad, it will happen). Have you thought of seeing a professional to deal with these feelings? Support group (lots on Meetup.com)? I am 4 years out on my own and it took some time to get used to all of this as well (mine left and ended up w/ a former friend!) I KNOW this is easier said than done, but try and enjoy your time with your child, remember that you need to take care of YOU and your wellbeing to ensure your son has a healthy life and childhood. I promise you-it will get better... take some of everyone's advice, cut your ties and take care of YOU! Best of luck to you :)

Zacknalexmom
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:59 PM


Quoting knoxmomof2:

Best thing to do *might* be to remove the sis from your friend's list and communicate via email instead. Seriously, it's not doing you any good to have this kind of access to those things. At the time, it probably fulfills you in the sense that you see him, but it's just going to leave you sad. Sorry you are going through this :(

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