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pissed off. I think im doing whats best?

Posted by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 8:13 PM
  • 21 Replies

im kayla. im 20. i have 2 children my son will be 2 in febuary and my daughter just turned 5 months. they have the same dad. we were on and off for 4 years(abusive relationship). we split when i was about 2-3 months pregnant with my daughter because we were fighting that hed rather waste his money on his boys and fetting high then taking me to the doctor well he got mad and i was holding my son and threw me into a wall. i was still holding my son. i left a week later. as soon as i could. then when i was about 6-7 months preganant we were trying to make it work. he was not there my whole pregnancy with my daughter was not there when i delivered or anything. so about 7 months ago i quit hearing from him. i was told once my daughter was born there had to be 6 months no contact to get his rights removed. well today he texted me! he said. "hey its sonny. how are you? how are our beautiful children? i bet Damian is huge and i bet our daughter is beautiful. what is her name?" i replied "MY children are beautiful and doing amazing no thanks to you. bye"  i mean should i try and talk to him? im mad he even contacted me! he has done nothing not even bought one box of wipes since my son was 8 months!!!! he knew my due date, my daughter is 5 months and just now contacting me like he cares! i mean im just to the point now i no longer miss him or feel i need him! hes never offered to even help financially nor has he seen them. i think he expects me to run back to him. but for what? for him to beat me? to controll me? possibly hurt my kids?

 

 

 

also how do i go about filing for abandonment, full custody, rights removal, child support?

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 8:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
GracelynJoysMom
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 8:22 PM
Your children are beautiful! The only thing I know about is filing for child support, it is different in every state but I went online to the fsd.gov website for Missouri and filed online then got papers and got a DNA test done since my bd wasn't on the birth certificate. The state will come up with an amount based off his income and if you disagree then you should request a hearing which is what I'm in the process of because state only said $27 but my bd and I came to an agreement of $200 and our hearing is on the 27th to get that amount in the child support order. Good luck!

As far as having contact wit him idk...in my situation I kept trying to get my bd to c my daughter but it's kind of just been off and on but we are getting a long very well and have talked about possibly getting back together so idk...do what u think is best but with ur bd being abusive I would say don't let him be around his kids because you dnt want them in any harm.
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strngenough
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 8:25 PM
Wow your kids are beautiful. Is he in the birth certificate? The best idea is to probably ask a battered women's shelter/group how to go about it. They may have a better idea to make sure you terminate it instead of giving him the open door.
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MandaMom23
by Bronze Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 8:29 PM

 Stay strong momma, you are doing the best thing for you and your babies.  As a mother you need to protect them and yourself.  They are beautiful!

Jazmyn1
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 12:38 AM
1 mom liked this

take care of your kids and yourself !!! people like that dont change dont go back to him or let him close he will indeed hurt you and possibly your children he has very poor judgement to push you but to push you with a child in your arms...he doesnt care do what you can to hve him removed permanently from their lives unless he gets help or its supervised just my opinion Ive been there

soulofsunmama
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 12:41 AM
Abusive.
End. Of. Story.
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ms.momo3
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 12:45 AM
1 mom liked this
If you ask for his rights to be terminated you will not be entitled to child support. If you go for child support he can get visitation. BUT...because he was abusive yoh can get supervised visitation if you have any proof. Police report, photos of bruises, that sort of thing.
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mrene88
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 12:49 AM
1 mom liked this
Your babies are beautiful! :)
Honestly I would consult a laywer and get there advice. Good luck to you!!! :))
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kristiansmommy1
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 12:50 AM
1 mom liked this
They are sooo cute! Your daughter looks like my niece lol. I've been in an abusive relationship, he kept saying he'd changed, I kept going back bc I wanted my family back. I finally had enough and realized my son would not be growing up thinking that was okay! So he can act changed and say it till hes blue in his face but unless he got professional help I'm sure he's still the same. I talk to my exs gf once in awhile and tho she claims he's not physically abusive to her he's very much emotionally and verbally abusive. Just go to the courthouse and ask for the papers to file for cs and abandonment or try to find like a legal aide place around you that can help. Or like someone else mentioned a Domestic violence place will probably know some recourses they can tell you about
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ilovemyson93
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 12:51 AM
1 mom liked this

I would try to have his rights taken away. He is a danger to the children because of his abusive behaviors.

2DsMommy1112
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 2:46 AM

i know they dont change i kept going back because he said hed change. it just got worse. it started with im sorries i never meant to hurt you to where he was stomping me, smashing my head into mirrors and telling me he was going to kill me. the day he put my son in the situation i was done for good. hes not on the birtth cert. cause he chose not to show up either time. i dont want him back or in my or my kids life. cause if he ever put hands on them id be in prison for too long. my main concern is he willl fight for rights or visitation. he hasnt tried yet i mean he doesnt even call for my kids first xmas or bday. he hasnt even bought wipes since i left. hes never met his daughter nor does he know her name. he knew my due date. he hit me up yestesteriday and my daughter is 5 months. we have 2 domestic violence cases in az state took over so i couldnt drop them. they hv pics. he also has a crimminal background for marijuana/ driving under the influence/ perifanalia/ agression towards an officer/ concealed weapon. uhhhh im so mad he even has the nerve to claim them as his children! he never changed a diaper, made a bottle, fed him, gave him a bath, woke up with him! i did it all! it i asked for help he told me its your job!

Quoting Jazmyn1

take care of your kids and yourself !!! people like that dont change dont go back to him or let him close he will indeed hurt you and possibly your children he has very poor judgement to push you but to push you with a child in your arms...he doesnt care do what you can to hve him removed permanently from their lives unless he gets help or its supervised just my opinion Ive been there


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