I know It's not fun saying but It's how I feel. I am 6 months pp and almost everyday is a struggle emotionally. Luckily I live with my parents and are helping me woth what theu can. But I can't help feeling like a prisoner. I find myself mourning mhavy old life. Last year I made the stupid decision of having sex with a guy I was just having sex with. Next thing I know I'm pregnant, I was going to abort, but couldn't. I wanted to place my son up for adoption but being Mexican, my mom and I had a bight fight about it....so I kept the baby. Now I have a guy who wants to be part of my son's life and sadly mine...Sometimes I want to sever all contact but he helps me by giving me money. I honestly became the thing I always secretly bashed. No one understands how hard It is for me to be a single mom. I cry almost every night, some days are good and some are not so good. I cry because I feel I can't do anything....Can't go out...(I'm not a party person) but just being in the outside world...I'm still adjusting and I wish I did things differently....I feel my whole life I will have to explain how I became a single Mom to people and It sucks. Life became harder and lonelier...I feel no one understands me, and If I try explaining myself I just get judged or lectured. I always said IF I have a kid with someone I loved...but I screwed myself over. I love my son but sometimes I wish It was just me again.
on Dec. 9, 2012 at 6:18 AM