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anyone thats dealt with custody... a question..

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 3:58 PM
  • 7 Replies
I took my ex to court for confirmation of custody, just verifying that I have custody. Now all of a sudden he wants to see them every other weekend fri-sun,basically just to be spiteful. He hasn't even seen them in months! My question is, can he even get overnights when he lives in an efficiency apartment? The kids are 5(g) and 3(b) . There is a pullout couch... also I have had 3 pfa's against him.. one was a 3yr order the other 2 were temporary (cause I dropped them)
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by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 3:58 PM
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Replies (1-7):
LauraMH
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 4:56 PM

Yes he can. My kids sleep on the floor or in chairs when they are at their dads house. I don't know what a pfa is???

paigesmommy5264
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 4:59 PM
Protection from abuse order

Quoting LauraMH:

Yes he can. My kids sleep on the floor or in chairs when they are at their dads house. I don't know what a pfa is???

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conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 5:01 PM
If the custody order allows visits yes he can. I had a studio apt for awhile but I had the kids sleep on couches and I slept on a twin bed that was behind one of the couches. My ex tried to use that against me ... he had primary at the time but this was 8 years ago. Judge told him as long as they have a roof over their head and are cared for that's all that matters.
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conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 5:03 PM
That is for you not the kids. If you don't want him having visitation you need to go back and change court order.


Quoting paigesmommy5264:

Protection from abuse order



Quoting LauraMH:

Yes he can. My kids sleep on the floor or in chairs when they are at their dads house. I don't know what a pfa is???


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LauraMH
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 5:06 PM

Ok, that is what I was thinking just never heard it called that. And yes, he may still get overnights. I also had PO's against ex. While our divorce was pending he hurt our son 2 times, threatened to shoot someone in front of kids (they had to be questioned by police), threatened on FB to kill me, wouldn't give our chronically ill DD her meds, and more. Plus all the crap he did before we filed for divorce and he gets every other weekend from Friday night thru Tuesday at 6:30 and on the other weeks he get Monday night- Tuesday night. I did get sole legal custody though. 

The system sucks. Good luck with everyhting. Let me know if you have any other questions. It is a long process but stick to your guns and don't let him manipulate you into anything you don't want to do. Continue to request no overnights and see what happens.

Quoting paigesmommy5264:

Protection from abuse order

Quoting LauraMH:

Yes he can. My kids sleep on the floor or in chairs when they are at their dads house. I don't know what a pfa is???


paigesmommy5264
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 5:11 PM
Mine threatens to kill me almost anytime we talk... or calls me a filthy names. My daughter is ill also and has never had anything to do with even learning the names of the chemo regimens she's been on. Ugh why does the system have to suck so bad?! Maybe I can use the fact that he smokes weed? Or that he's an alcoholic?

Quoting LauraMH:

Ok, that is what I was thinking just never heard it called that. And yes, he may still get overnights. I also had PO's against ex. While our divorce was pending he hurt our son 2 times, threatened to shoot someone in front of kids (they had to be questioned by police), threatened on FB to kill me, wouldn't give our chronically ill DD her meds, and more. Plus all the crap he did before we filed for divorce and he gets every other weekend from Friday night thru Tuesday at 6:30 and on the other weeks he get Monday night- Tuesday night. I did get sole legal custody though. 


The system sucks. Good luck with everyhting. Let me know if you have any other questions. It is a long process but stick to your guns and don't let him manipulate you into anything you don't want to do. Continue to request no overnights and see what happens.


Quoting paigesmommy5264:

Protection from abuse order


Quoting LauraMH:


Yes he can. My kids sleep on the floor or in chairs when they are at their dads house. I don't know what a pfa is???



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
LauraMH
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 5:27 PM

I would use anything you can. Record all those phone calls. Save e-mails, texts, anything that can show he is a threat. My ex didn't know the name on one doctor my dd had and she has 7! He didn't give her any meds, never took her to treatments or appts even though the courts said he had too. He smoked, drank, took prescription pills. The three times he went to prison were drug related (probation violations). None of it meant anything.

The system sucks bc the people who work in the courts are ignorant when it comes to abuse. Unless you are almost murdered then they do nothing about it. They think that bc he didn't hurt the kids like he did you he is a good father. It's crap, but right now there isn't much you can do. Gather any and all evidence you have. and do EVERYTHING by the book. He will be able to do whatever he wants still but you will be under a microscope. It is a very hard thing to go through but one that is necessary for you and your kids. Be strong mama, you can do it!

Quoting paigesmommy5264:

Mine threatens to kill me almost anytime we talk... or calls me a filthy names. My daughter is ill also and has never had anything to do with even learning the names of the chemo regimens she's been on. Ugh why does the system have to suck so bad?! Maybe I can use the fact that he smokes weed? Or that he's an alcoholic?

Quoting LauraMH:

Ok, that is what I was thinking just never heard it called that. And yes, he may still get overnights. I also had PO's against ex. While our divorce was pending he hurt our son 2 times, threatened to shoot someone in front of kids (they had to be questioned by police), threatened on FB to kill me, wouldn't give our chronically ill DD her meds, and more. Plus all the crap he did before we filed for divorce and he gets every other weekend from Friday night thru Tuesday at 6:30 and on the other weeks he get Monday night- Tuesday night. I did get sole legal custody though. 


The system sucks. Good luck with everyhting. Let me know if you have any other questions. It is a long process but stick to your guns and don't let him manipulate you into anything you don't want to do. Continue to request no overnights and see what happens.


Quoting paigesmommy5264:

Protection from abuse order


Quoting LauraMH:


Yes he can. My kids sleep on the floor or in chairs when they are at their dads house. I don't know what a pfa is???


 


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