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Not quite a deadbeat... but close

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 5:39 PM
  • 16 Replies


SOOOOO Just found out my daughter's father spent $15,000 on new 'toys' for himself in one day, including a 4runner and snow mobile for his house that hes renting in tahoe after he goes on vacation for a month and a half and rents houses all over Hawaii.... and he wants to give me shit over more then $500 a month? Oh FUCK that, I've been WAY to nice and at this point I'm just being taken advantage of. I've gone out of my way to make it easy for him to see his daughter, and he is just screwing her over in more ways then one. So I'm OVER it I'm filing for full custody, and if he wants to fight me then he can go ahead and do that. He doesn't deserve custody, and I refuse to get screwed by someone in the future when he is just trying to get out of payments for a kid that he says he 'loves'


I still stand by that he can come and see her whenever he wants, and if for some reason her and I make it out to California, then by all means I'll be happy to let her visit him, But I'm not SPENDING money to bring my daughter out to visit someone who can't even pay for his daughter to go to a good daycare, but still can afford the many luxuries that he gives himself. All while he tells people what a bitch I am, FUCK HIM!


I know I'll probably get a lot of shit from a lot of people that don't know the whole story, but I don't care, I'm looking out for my kid and that's it. My daughter should be able to go to a good school, and she should be able to take dance lessons, and she should be able to have new clothes, if he can spend all that money on himself!


The entire trip to California, he didn't buy her clothes or toys or ANYTHING! He just took her to her friend's house and let his friend babysit, while he went 'shopping' for new toys. I'm over it, I'm looking out for my kid and anybody who can't see that is an egg sucker...(haha I like that term)


Sorry to Bitch, I'm just really over this bullshit...


(note according to some mutual friends he made about $125,000 this year, but all under the table... yes I'm getting screwed)

by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 5:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
stephryc
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 6:50 PM
1 mom liked this

Well I'm sure that's a tough pill to swallow. I would have a hard time with that myself. I have four kids, and I am ordered to get 299 a month which I never get because the jerk doesn't have a job. I understand what you are saying about dance lessons and new clothes, becuase my kids want to do the same things. I just do what I can. I guess it's what you make of it, and if your daughter is happy maybe it should stay the same. I know this is harsh, but it's not all about money with kids. Coming from my point of view...be happy you get anything at all.

toughmama1
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:11 PM

Its not about money you're right, and I wouldn't be as aggrivated if I wasn't spending mine to make sure that he has visitations with his daughter 

He also is walking around telling everybody that HE paid for me to go to school, (while I'm still paying for it) and telling everybody that I 'kidnapped' his kid when he signed papers that I was leaving.

If the money I got were fair and based on his income I woudl be fine with the amount I recieved, but unfortunetly, its not he's not paying what he should for his daughter, and I don't think thats right, especially when he whines and cries that he doesn't get time with her

He has no problem flying to hawaii or tahoe but refuses to fly to visit his kid, 

strngenough
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:15 PM
If he owes you more than take him to court. If you want more for her than get a job that can help it. It sucks watching them get to buy stuff, but I agree with the last post that if your daughters happy then you kinda have to deal with it. Shitty part of breaking up and sharing a kid.

Sorry for not being more understanding, but it's a personal thing with me.
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toughmama1
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:20 PM

I understand where you ladies are coming from I really do, and I sat with the little money he sends me for a long time, while I let him do his thing

I work three jobs I'm a legal secretary, massage therapist and liquor promo model. I do everything to pay for my daughter, on the other hand her father doesn't do anything but bitch about how I left him. Which I did because of his excessive spending habits

andyroosmama
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:32 PM
2 moms liked this

 He's a convenient parent? If you want more, do more... yes, it sucks having to watch them eat off a silver platter while you and your child(ren) are barely scraping by... but the upside is your children will appreciate you more and all you give them more... My Andrew's dad didn't pay for his football, I did... I even tried to be nice and split the cost of game uniform and gear but it was a no go... Andrew was happy with it and he told me thank you at the end of the season... you just gotta suck it up sometimes... which is no bueno

strngenough
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:34 PM
Sorry I didn't see the rest of the story post with the bs he does and you spending money to fly here there. It just sounds like an immature ass. I'm so sorry you have to put up with it and you are so awesome to take this all on for your daughter. There's a suggestion of shooting people with rubber bullets in another group? I am dreading dealing with my ex for the rest of my life, but I want primary custody so it'll be my fun. Ya know my ex who makes 120-220k/ yr. I used to make 85k but he had me quit for him and then a year later he left. I will never make what I did and he will be living nice. You can put my feet back on the ground when I'm here screaming a year from now


Quoting toughmama1:

I understand where you ladies are coming from I really do, and I sat with the little money he sends me for a long time, while I let him do his thing

I work three jobs I'm a legal secretary, massage therapist and liquor promo model. I do everything to pay for my daughter, on the other hand her father doesn't do anything but bitch about how I left him. Which I did because of his excessive spending habits


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KPBMom
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 8:04 PM

Do you have any court ordered support???

toughmama1
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 8:29 PM

nothing is court ordered right now, I tried to keep our arrangement out of the courts, because he told me that the $500 was 10% of how much he made a month ($5000), since he makes closer to10,000 a month we should be getting more. 

It wasn't till I talked to some friends and they told me how much he made that I started to get aggrivated. I work with custody cases everyday at work, and I know how much he SHOULD be paying in child support, which he doesn't. 

At first I was worried about how to get more because his income is all under the table, but then I learned from my boss (a wonderful family lawyer) that I could supeona his bank statments, as well as info about his vehicle information, vacations, and all that. So now I think I'm gonna go through with it, I hate involving the court but he's not agreeing to our regular agreements,(which were that he would call four times a week and at least one of those would be skyping) and he's never the one to call or skype his daughter (they haven't skyped in months) I am ALWAYS making calls and arranging for them to meet  because I want my daughter to have her father in her life. I just don't know how much more I can or should do...

I've been VERY understanding with him about his situation, he doesn't have a house right now and I agreed to let my daughter stay in a hotel with him (thats right he has no rent payments either) then I went to drop her something off and found out he had been staying in the room with some girl and her two kids (this girl who is known in our group of friends for smoking Meth and not taking care of her kids, she has 4 and only 2 are with her) Then the girl acctually had the nerve to start a fight with me! I STILL let her stay for the extra week because his mom was going to come out and visit. Not only did he admit to sleeping with this girl while my daughter was in the room but he also told me that she wasn't even his girlfriend! WTF totally inappropriate in my opinion.



LifeCafe42
by Nora on Dec. 9, 2012 at 8:46 PM
I'm sorry you are going through this nice thing about my sons father never being around is I don't see how much he makes but he never had money anyways mooches off whoever he can
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toughmama1
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 9:06 PM


Quoting LifeCafe42:

I'm sorry you are going through this nice thing about my sons father never being around is I don't see how much he makes but he never had money anyways mooches off whoever he can

He didn't have money when I met him either,

we both built up his buisness, but when I started going to school for he pretty much told me that it was him or school and well school won because I figured what kind of asshole tell's his baby's mother not to go to school. It took me two years to be able to go back and when I finally did he got mad at me because it was going to ruin one of his trips to Hawaii. He went anyways and left me in school full time with my then two year old daughter, while he went and spent thousands in Hawaii. He never even offered to help with school while we were together and now he goes around telling everybody he paid for my school then I left him UGH i hate liars

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